No sex...

[VikiGla97]

I am 21 and my bf is 32. In the beginning everything was great, but after we moved in together things are worse and worse. We have sex once in a month, or sometimes even not that often 🤷🏻‍♀️ I try to start everything, but he doesn't seem to be interested 🤷🏻‍♀️ we both work nightshifts, same place, first when I asked him why he doesn't have sex with me, he got annoyed and said to me that it is because he feels disappointed every time I don't end up getting pregnant....so I thought...how can I end up being pregnant when we only have sex once a month 🤦🏻‍♀️ but I never said anything, I tried again and again but his next excuse was that he is always tired. Now he is having a month of holidays. It is his third week, I tried again yesterday but he just closed his eyes and went sleep. He drinks 3,4 red bulls daily, smokes and sometimes drinks alco. I don't understand how he can spend 10 h playing PS4 with his friend but can't give me some time because he is always tired..I feel unattractive and unwanted. I am just 21 and all I do is I go to work, home, sleep, sometimes going out for some dinner. Do you guys have any ideas?

You are too young to settle for this. Let him go and go live your life. Excessive gamers are shitty life partners.

Have you discussed his lack of sex drive in more detail than he's just tired?
I would asked him if there is anything else to it, my oh's was low for a long time due to stress but since moving job it has increased dramatically.

I would start by talking about it and pushing him to be a bit more open than tired and disappointed in the lact of pregnancy.

@Aimily I never asked him because he gets annoyed and he says that I am rude.... I just don't know what to do.. He also says that he is stressed with money, and want to change the flat. Don't get me wrong..he is great person, with an amazing character, just makes me feel unattractive and I feel like his flatmate rather than a partner 🤷🏻‍♀️ @SignedUpJust4This

Leave him.

Seriously you are 21. You should be having fun not being tied down by a slothful older man.

Jeez why are you still with him? He doesn’t sound like much of a catch. And a pregnancy would be a big mistake in my opinion anyway. He’s 32 and sits round for hours drinking red bull and playing computer games?! Sounds more a like a teenager to me.
Ask yourself what you are getting out of this relationship.

Why are you and he together at all now, what is the point of him?. All he seemingly wants is a skivvy.

What are you getting out of this relationship now?. Nothing from what I can see.

Time to leave this waste of space man and work on you mor in terms of having higher boundaries in relationships.

RUN DO NOT GET PREGNANT WITH THIS MAN.

It's supposed to be the honeymoon period & he's treating you like this? Do not tie yourself to this man

Maybe you girls are right...last week I asked him if he wants to go out with me coz it was a nice weather, he said he didn't want to go, because place where I wanted to go is too far (30 min), I went alone, he stayed at home and played with his friend. In the beginning he wasn't like that, he was fun and I was never bored with him 🤦🏻‍♀️

You're only 21 years old with so much more ahead of you! Don't settle for this and leave him! The fact he plays PlayStation for 10hrs a day would be enough to put me off!! Go and date some fun men and enjoy yourself!

Oh good God.

Why on earth would you want to be pregnant at 21, and with a man who behaves like this?

You cannot possibly bring a child into this relationship which sounds awful anyway.

Please leave him and please use contraception if you do have sex. Otherwise you will be a 21 yr old unmarried/single parent with no support.

This will be your life forever..
Think hard....
You are allowed to decide this is not the future you want.

Please please stop settling for this. Get out and make a new life for yourself. He’s not going to get any better, he will just suck all the joy out of your life.

Are you even trying for a baby? If that was his excuse he’s lying. If he was disappointed you weren’t getting pregnant he’d be shagging you far more frequently to actually give you a chance of conceiving!

@EmeraldRubyShark yes but that's what I told him, trying once in a month is not trying

Well make sure your contraception is watertight while you mull this over. The last thing you want is a baby with this person OP, trust me.

You're 21, there are men out there who will treat you well and you them. Get rid of the block to your happy... Which is him.

Why do you want a baby with him?

I got pregnant at that age with an absolute sloth of a man and I really really don't recommend it!

You are all right but coz of all that, I stopped believing in myself, I don't feel good with ppl around me, I feel like they keep on looking at me and judging me. I am all alone here where I live, the only person I have is him, my friends and family live far.

Then make plans to go home OP. I'm sure your family and friends will help you with that.

He thinks he has you now so he doesn't need to bother anymore, I would run as fast as i could.. he sounds a bit emotionally abusive to be honest, blaming it on you and everything else before he looks at the real reason which is just.. he never showed you the real him until now

@VikiGla97 I've been where you are right now. I spent the three and half years of my life trying to make a relationship that I knew would never work....work. The way he behaved, a lot like the way your OH is, is not love it's just plain nasty. Looking back on my relationship I can see the oblivious failures. But I still invested, I put everything in, even bought a house. I am so thankful that I never fell pregnant. A house can be sold....but the damage to your confidence and self worth takes so much longer to recover. The only reason that kept me there was the fear of not knowing if I'd find anyone else. Now 2 years on I'm more happy then I could ever be with someone who treats me in a way I never thought possible. My advise would be to walk away. You know you're worth more. We know you're worth more. Be brave and go, you'll have doubts and stalls but once it's done the only thing you'll regret is not doing it sooner. 💛

When you say he smokes, do you mean weed?

You are flogging a dead horse with this one. Leave him and find someone who makes you happy.

sell his PlayStation
That'll get his attention.

You're rather silly by willing to get pregnant with him. Do you want to be 21, raising a child on your own whilst your partner sits and plays PlayStation instead of being an active part of the family and helping being up the child? Use protection

Bringing up the child. ^

He wants a baby but when you have a baby, he won't help with the baby. This man is a dead boyfriend and you could do much better, someone who doesn't sit on there arse all day, go meet someone decent then have children. Not with that thing. (dead meaning shit/boring/lazy)