No sex...

[VikiGla97]

I am 21 and my bf is 32. In the beginning everything was great, but after we moved in together things are worse and worse. We have sex once in a month, or sometimes even not that often 🤷🏻‍♀️ I try to start everything, but he doesn't seem to be interested 🤷🏻‍♀️ we both work nightshifts, same place, first when I asked him why he doesn't have sex with me, he got annoyed and said to me that it is because he feels disappointed every time I don't end up getting pregnant....so I thought...how can I end up being pregnant when we only have sex once a month 🤦🏻‍♀️ but I never said anything, I tried again and again but his next excuse was that he is always tired. Now he is having a month of holidays. It is his third week, I tried again yesterday but he just closed his eyes and went sleep. He drinks 3,4 red bulls daily, smokes and sometimes drinks alco. I don't understand how he can spend 10 h playing PS4 with his friend but can't give me some time because he is always tired..I feel unattractive and unwanted. I am just 21 and all I do is I go to work, home, sleep, sometimes going out for some dinner. Do you guys have any ideas?

He certainly doesn't have a great character! He sounds bloody horrible.

Can you move back to family and friends?

Oh god. You're -19- -21- -22- whatever the fuck 97 is

Jesus. Just, no.

21 - ffs please don't stay with him, it at the very very least don't get pregnant by him.

He sounds boring, lazy, gaming addicted unhealthy and also his excuses for not wanting to have sex/having a sex drive make no sense.

There is a world full of young guys who'd bang your brains out very happily if dating you - why on earth should you be having to nag this boring, immature dude (is he a stoner too?) for sex and being made to feel attractive.

I dated an older man who was (mostly)impotent briefly in my 20s ( he doesn't even have that excuse) - even though I knew he had problems, I remember how unattractive he made me feel and how dysfunctional it ended up feeling .. I ended up having sex with a young, normal ex and that feeling of someone being into you and enthusiastically fking you into next week was amazing; go and find it .

You also sound very isolated, you should have a good social life, fun and friendship and family support.

In case it got lost in my first post;

DO NOT GET PREGNANT BY THIS GUY!

Please get on reliable contraception.

I am all alone here where I live, the only person I have is him, my friends and family live far.

This is classic in abusive relationships. They isolate you so they can limit or plain stop you from receiving real life support.

I'm with everyone else here in saying please, please don't have a baby with this dickhead.

You are 21. The world is laid out ready for you to explore. There are loads of lovely men out there, men who'll treat you with the love, kindness and respect my DH did.

Get out and start again. I really can't see what this relationship has to offer you.

@SteveTheSpiderPlant no just cigarettes

Now he is laying on the couch and watching YouTube 😂 I think I just need to leave. Also I have been in previous very abusive relationship and he helped me to get out. Maybe he thinks that once I couldn't leave, I won't be able to leave him as well

Getting pregnant with a man like this will be a mistake you regret forever. He won't suddenly morph into an interested, engaged partner and father if you had a child together. It would just be you slogging away, but covered in baby sick and exhausted and feeling trapped.

You're 21. Life shouldn't be like this for you.

You have years of fertility ahead of you, years of possibilities. and a world full of men, good, bad and mediocre. Try more out. Try lots out . Travel. Get a career going. Do charity work in far-flung places. Join the Navy. Run amok. Anything. Don't consign yourself to a life of drudgery raising kids with a lazy disengaged tosspot like him.

He said the lack of sex was your fault for not getting pregnant and disappointing him? Awful.

Just thank your lucky stars you aren’t pregnant.

Skip on out the door.

Who knows, or cares, what this man’s motivation is?

Just make the decision for none of this to be your problem any longer.

@SpamChaudFroid he said, that he feels disappointed because it is not working

I have been in previous very abusive relationship and he helped me to get out.

Maybe he thinks you should be so grateful that he doesn't have to make an effort?

I'm a widow now. He died young. But one of the best bits of our marriage was the laughter. We were always laughing. We had so much fun. Please don't accept this grey shadow of a relationship.

You could be looking for someone you have actual fun with. But while gamer boy is blocking out the light you aren't free to look.

He was also like this before he didn't have his PlayStation 🤷🏻‍♀️ first we moved to his brother and he said that's because his brother is there, now it is because he is tired and disappointed and it puts him down, fuck knows what he wants

Well, strip away all the excuses and look at his actions, not what he says.

What does that leave you with? Be very honest with yourself.

32! Well doesn’t he sound like a keeper.

Well op, it’s not going to get better is it. He’s not suddenly going to jump up with a burst of energy and become boyfriend of the century is he...this is him. If you say you’re leaving he might make an effort for a week or two, but it’ll soon go back to ‘normal’.

Lack of intimacy will lead to resentment, feelings of frustration, disappointment and a loss of confidence. At 21, you are way too young to accept that as your life. In fact, at nearly double your age I wouldn’t want that as my life.

10 hours on the PS4! Smoking, drinking. What exactly about this man appeals to you? Does he by any chance look particularly like Chris Hemsworth?

Why on earth would you want to be pregnant at 21, and with a man who behaves like this?
Exactly this! ^^

You have your whole life before you. Why oh why would you trap yourself into a lifelong relationship with this uncaring, emotionally illiterate person by having a child with him? Be grateful you have not yet become pregnant as it doesn't sound as though he'd be financially, emotionally or in any way supportive to you.

Please hand in your notice both from him and your job and go back to where your parents and support system are and take a break from being in any relationship for a while. Focus on making your own life better. Look for a job near home and find other ways you can improve yourself. Eg: more training? Further education? Fun with the friends closer to home.

Good luck OP.

he is great person, with an amazing character
And you are deluded to even type this; he has no plus points, why on earth would you want to get pregnant?
Run and run fast ➡️➡️

Sorry but at 21,. And 31 You should be at it like bunnies....
Please get out, find someone who chases you round the sofa...
Life can be so great if you just give it a chance .

OP he does not want you, he does not want to have sex with you, he does not respect you atall. You need to leave this man and find you're own place in life, you will meet someone when the time is right.

Sorry but at 21,. And 31 You should be at it like bunnies....
Please get out, find someone who chases you round the sofa...

So true... Reminiscing about my sofa chasing youth...

So funny.

Neighbour annoyed us... Guess what we did on his car bonnet. At 3 in the morning....
I was late 20's at the time...
Please find someone to be naughty with....

Jeez don’t get pregnant whatever you do!

For heavens sake, get rid. Why saddle yourself with this.