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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Anyone know what happens if you report someone to police for somewhat historic abuse?

31 replies

Sunlov · 23/04/2019 16:42

If they have a new baby.

To explain - an ex, with a history of DV, psychosis, alcoholism, drug use, BPD, psychiatric admissions etc. I called police in January when I found out they had a new baby but they couldn't locate him.

I have managed to locate the new girlfriend.

I've messaged the new girlfriend on FB and she has quite simply blocked me (fair enough - I could be anyone).

The danger he poses is extreme. Will they do anything?

OP posts:
Inliverpool1 · 23/04/2019 16:52

My experience is there is a 6 month window after the offender takes place to report and after that the opportunity has gone, however anyone can make a report about a concern online to social services and they have a duty to follow up if you give them enough information to trace him

Dancer12345 · 23/04/2019 16:54

I’ve heard of lots of cases of people reporting historic abuse though, particularly sexual. These cases have been more than 6 months ago.

Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 17:00

Maybe SS will keep an eye at least.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 17:03

This isn't me trying to get him prosecuted for offences against me. It's me trying to warn the woman (she blocked me) and the authorities of the risk he poses.

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Hidingtonothing · 23/04/2019 17:07

I agree SS would be your best bet here OP.

ChibiTotoro · 23/04/2019 17:08

Submit any information via Crimestoppers. It's less likely to get lost in the system that way. Just remember that you are unlikely to know of any outcome of information you do submit. It doesn't mean that they haven't taken any notice, it's just that the general public don't need to know about everything.

Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 17:24

There was an officer assigned but she's not on duty so the police officer emailed her and said she'll get back to me when she's next on duty.

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Inliverpool1 · 23/04/2019 18:24

I’d go straight to SS by the time the police join the dots up it could be too late

Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 20:22

The thing is, I don't have an address, just an area. E.g. Croydon. The woman's name and my exes name.

Given that she blocked me instantly, I can assume nothing has happened yet. The baby is about 4 or 5 months old. It's a girl, but don't know its name either.

OP posts:
BigRedLondonBus · 23/04/2019 20:27

She can stay with him
if she wants. youve warned her and shes ignored you, I dont understand what else you want to do

Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 20:30

Save a baby being murdered?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 20:31

This guy has a history of hearing voices telling him to slit his throat.

He has tried to choke me to death, beaten the crap out of me and destroyed me basically.

A baby would not be allowed to be alone with him if they knew his history.

OP posts:
BigRedLondonBus · 23/04/2019 20:32

well he obviously hasnt done that befpre otherwise they would already be monitoring him. maybe she knows about his past and thats why she blocked you

Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 20:33

He's a pathological liar so it's far more likely that he has given her some twisted version of his past.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 20:35

I suppose, I can at least say that I tried.

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BigRedLondonBus · 23/04/2019 20:36

was he ever prosecuted for any of it?

Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 20:38

Nope. He has 17 bench warrants in Ireland. In England I got away and didn't pursue any prosecutions.

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Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 20:47

I told her all this, but there's only so much you can do really. I couldn't give a crap about her - she's an adult - but a cute tiny baby? Yes I care.
He has tried to murder me twice (I'm not saying that lightly or exaggerating). I'm not being jealous etc., we're separated since September 2017, and the last I heard from him was Feb last year.

He is a massive risk to a baby.

Maybe I should keep my nose well out.

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BigRedLondonBus · 23/04/2019 20:54

I think with no proof at all this will just look like a malicious accusation to SS. Im not saying dont do anything, just being realistic.

Inliverpool1 · 23/04/2019 20:57

To be honest I think they’d take those accusations pretty seriously, you should make the call then it’s in their hands

Moralitym1n1 · 23/04/2019 21:00

What are the bench warrants for in Ireland?

Does anyone know if British police can consider/get info. on things in another country, it seems likely?

Moralitym1n1 · 23/04/2019 21:01

Good on you op for caring and for trying.

Moralitym1n1 · 23/04/2019 21:04

This isn't me trying to get him prosecuted for offences against me.

But if you did, wouldn't that be a more reliable, effective way of getting the police and SS to pay the attention to him and his living/family circumstances that they should?

Moralitym1n1 · 23/04/2019 21:07

He has tried to murder me twice (I'm not saying that lightly or exaggerating).

I'm not blaming you in any way, but if you had reported those; he'd likely have a record that was accessible via Clare's (?) Law and you wouldn't be having to try to get people to take you seriously and believe you (and worry yourself shitless about his little daughter) with only your word. If you do it now, its better late than never.

Original poster
Sunlov · 23/04/2019 21:12

I think it's too old now. I was in a shelter for a while in England, but I always went back. It's doubtful I could get him prosecuted for anything here.

E.g. He rammed me into a wall head first the day before I started a new job. I got away, called police etc. , they interviewed him and he apparently said that he was trying to get me out of the room and I was pushing back and fell (into a wall, head first). By that stage I was just glad to be away, busy with work and just wanted to be away.

There is really nothing I could get him prosecuted for.

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