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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Feelings for a dr at my GP

50 replies

Candykissws84 · 23/04/2019 14:08

Hi ladies,
So I have started feelings for a gp at my surgery his not my gp but I've seen him a few times. His a bit awkward around me and a bit dipsy the kind of way when ur attracted to someone and dont know what to do. I've not been attracted to someone this much for a long time i really don't know what to do i don't wanna feel like this and want it to stop as i cant get him out of my head. He went out of his way to see me at an out of hours apt, after not been able to at my surgery, yes he was just doing his job but when i saw him there was sparks there, his not in Any way been unprofessional with me or made me feel uncomfortable in anyway. I'm at a loss as to what to i really want to tell him but I know I can't i don't wanna risk losing my gp surgery as they are really good. I also don't want him to lose his job either.

OP posts:

DonPablo · 23/04/2019 14:10

Ah, this is never going to go anywhere. You've just got to Chalk it up as a crush and move on I think.

HoraceCope · 23/04/2019 14:11

dont be silly.
you are seeing thigns that are not there

PlonkyPlink · 23/04/2019 14:14

No, don’t go there OP. There are strict professional boundaries and a GP can never get involved with a patient. He would be struck off the medical register. You’ll make any future professional relationship impossible, he will no longer be able to see you and you may feel you need to move surgeries. I would be very careful not to confuse his kindness & awkwardness for attraction.

TemporaryPermanent · 23/04/2019 14:18

GP crushes are bloody awful, I've had one and they can get in the way of healthcare as it's hard to make rational decisions. You need to make absolutely sure you don't see this doctor if you go to the surgery. Change practice if that's an option or if it's big enough with enough partners, that may not be necessary.

lunar1 · 23/04/2019 14:19

I mean this in the kindest possible way.

Doctors go out of their way for patients every day of the week. He's doing his job and it's completely normal to feel how you do. But for him, he's not attracted to you, he's working and you are seeing things which aren't there.

If you can't quash it quickly in your mind, change surgery.

Orange6904 · 23/04/2019 15:29

That would be very unprofessional of him. I think he is just doing his job, sorry op.

Original poster

Candykissws84 · 23/04/2019 15:29

I think I may have to change GPS o really don't wanna feel this way I want it to go away. I don't even know where it came from it was just a light that went on when i last saw him.

OP posts:

Orange6904 · 23/04/2019 15:30

Do you have quite low self esteem? Not saying that to be horrible but just because he is good at his job and compassionate doesn't mean he fancies you.

KOKOtiltomorrow · 23/04/2019 15:32

Ask your mum what you should do....you sound like you are about 12 .

Original poster

Candykissws84 · 23/04/2019 15:40

@kokotiltomorrow thanks for the advice, no need to be rude,
@sassuage101 no I don't, didn't take it the wrong way at all.
I think I'm just going to change GPS i think that's the best option all round.
I didn't ask to feel this way about him nor do i want to.

OP posts:

prawnsword · 23/04/2019 15:40

Patient Doctor rules must state a professional conflict here. I don’t mean this to be unkind but is it possible you’re feeling something that is just on your side? A good doctor should be caring!

If you really think it is mutual, maybe you could tell him at next appointment you would like to see a different doctor due to having some unprofessional feelings towards him? But I have lived in London on working holiday & remember how hard it was to find a GP so you may want to seriously think before doing that & creating an unwanted awkward situation that could cause you to lose your GP!

Also what kind of job do you do? Are you a highly paid professional, fellow healthcare worker, academic or trophy wife/WAG type? People generally want to date their equals or want to date ‘up’ which may be something to consider when hitting on a doctor...

prawnsword · 23/04/2019 15:43

Also am none of those things, so mean no disrespect to you OP! But he is a doctor & I have always swiped left on doctors as am a type B creative person & don’t imagine would mesh well with a doctor on a dating level

Original poster

Candykissws84 · 23/04/2019 15:45

@password im a border enforcement officer at Heathrow. I don't think I should tell him I just think it's best i either dont see him or change GPS the only way ill see him is if there is no other doctor around.

OP posts:

Original poster

Candykissws84 · 23/04/2019 15:46

@password i understand what you mean and didn't take it disrespectfilly

OP posts:

Mumma111 · 23/04/2019 15:55

@Candykissws84 why are people being so rude to this woman? It's not on.

prawnsword · 23/04/2019 16:22

Your job sounds bloody fascinating & maybe a new GP is best - would personally not want to tell someone I had a crush on about my private medical issues! Like here, burn this wart off the sole of my foot, sexy 😂

Whoops75 · 23/04/2019 16:29

Similar happened with dh and before we went on a date we sorted the etiquette.

If you think there’s a spark and ye are both single you should ask him out.

HoraceCope · 23/04/2019 16:47

I had a crush on my driving instructor, needless to say I failed my test, at least I didnt have to see him again though

willowmelangell · 23/04/2019 16:53

Years n years n years ago I read something.
'Only two men in your life can ask you to get undressed, your husband and your doctor.'
You are a red blooded woman and mention you haven't felt an attraction for some time.
Change your GPS. Spare your blushes.
The Genie is out of the bottle, you deserve a chance at romance, flirting and passion.

Just with someone who can give the same back.

Original poster

Candykissws84 · 23/04/2019 16:53

@mumma111 i know some people are very rude but with my job im used to it so takw it with a pinch of salt.
@password its fun and hard at sometimes I have the final choice most days if we
should allow certain people in to the UK. I had to refuse 4 people yesterday and 9ne overstay that wanted to come back into the
UK.
@whoops75 was DH your dr? If you are happy to can u tell me more about how u went about it. Just this is all new to me as i was with my ex for 20 years since we were 14 only split 6 months go but it was mutual and we are still great friends we just grew apart

OP posts:

AdoraBell · 23/04/2019 16:56

I’ve had crushes on two Doctors both connected to my DD. The one who looked after them as premature new borns and the ophthalmologist who removed a growth from DD1’s eye.

As others have said, don’t go there.

ScreamingValenta · 23/04/2019 16:57

I don't think he'd be able to ask you out in his role as your doctor - you'd only have a chance if you met him in a social setting.

Dirtybadger · 23/04/2019 17:08

It's quite common to fancy your Dr/lecturer/liaison officer/counsellor. Assuming there are more than 2 GPs there...just ask to see someone else? Do you have a health condition that means you have to go regularly? If not then you probably only need to go once every few years anyway I would just leave it.

If it's not too much hassle then I suppose you could change GP practices.

wigglesniggles · 23/04/2019 17:39

OP you should do an Ask Me Anything as someone who works at in airport security - I'm sure loads of people would be interested and it might distract you from your crush!

Original poster

Candykissws84 · 23/04/2019 17:48

There are around 6 GPS at my surgery. I have a few medical issues so have to go a few times a year plus i have 2 kids so I am there at lot.

OP posts:

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