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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Too much attention!

35 replies

namechangeragain1 · 22/04/2019 18:00

I have fallen very quickly in love and I just want to text him all the time to tell him I love him and miss him. How many times is too many? Will it irritate him or will he think it's nice?

I know everyone is different - but what's your view?

OP posts:
Hitheresunrays · 22/04/2019 18:08

I can understand how too many texts could annoy one, but sending him messages to express love or support will make him happy and show that you are there for him. does he do the same for you? If he's not a good texter then try and reign it in OP haha! anyway, best of luck in new relationship Flowers

NoBaggyPants · 22/04/2019 18:09

You sound a bit scary.

How long have you been together?

CupcakeDrama · 22/04/2019 18:10

yeh think its helps to know how long youve been together

SwimmingKaren · 22/04/2019 18:13

I love this stage! Enjoy! But if you feel like you’re overdoing it then that could mean he’s not reciprocating as enthusiastically and you need to step it back a little?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 22/04/2019 18:13

I love it when DP tells me that he loves me, genuinely, but if he did it all the time, it would become a bit meaningless. Instead he does things that make me feel loved, and probably says it once a day/every other day maximum in usual circumstances.

How long have you been together? If it's really early, be careful that texting him all the time might come across a bit odd, even if it's well intentioned.

ForalltheSaints · 22/04/2019 18:26

Speaking as a man, although it has not happened to me, you can put some men off. A lot does depend on how long since you met.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 22/04/2019 18:31

Falling in love is not the same as loving someone. It might be helpful to keep that perspective at a time when perspective isn't always that readily available.

Original poster
namechangeragain1 · 22/04/2019 18:52

Thanks for this. He doesn't always reciprocate and I'm never sure if I'm irritating him or if he's just not like that.

OP posts:
CupcakeDrama · 22/04/2019 19:00

and once again how long have you been together?

Original poster
namechangeragain1 · 22/04/2019 19:19

4 months

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 22/04/2019 19:46

You’re not in love with him, you’re just over excited about something shiny and new.
Save love men that you are close enough to, to be able to discuss potential sexual dysfunction.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 22/04/2019 19:50

4 months is nothing. You won't know him at all. You'll have an idea about him, which is what you're falling in love with - but that's more to do with you and who you believe he is than it is about who he actually is.

Original poster
namechangeragain1 · 22/04/2019 20:48

Curious response afistful

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 22/04/2019 20:53

Curious?
Accurate and helpful more like!

userxx · 22/04/2019 20:55

Spot on response by @AFistfulofDolores1

Original poster
namechangeragain1 · 22/04/2019 21:03

It just wasn't my question!

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 22/04/2019 21:08

Surely you have enough intelligence to apply it to your question though?

If someone I’d been dating for 4 months sent me frequent messages about how much they loved and missed me I’d think:

  • they were childish
  • they were needy
  • they weren’t in love with me at all, just with
  • that I should step away from dating someone who was childish and needy
AFistfulofDolores1 · 22/04/2019 21:11

I was actually going to add, but decided against it, that you wouldn't in a million years acknowledge anything I'd written.

Maybe one day you'll see some wisdom.

It took me about 25 years.

Ellisandra · 22/04/2019 21:22

Surely you have enough intelligence to apply it to your question though?

If someone I’d been dating for 4 months sent me frequent (by which I’ll say more than once a day) messages about how much they loved and missed me I’d think:

  • they were childish
  • they were needy
  • they weren’t in love with me at all, just with
  • that I should step away from dating someone who was childish and needy
userxx · 22/04/2019 22:05

Ok, so to answer your question, yes it probably will irritate him and no, he probably won't think it's nice. Just a bit needy and slightly scary. You could always try it and see. Why do you miss him, does he work away a lot or is it a long distance relationship.

Original poster
namechangeragain1 · 22/04/2019 22:15

He works away Monday/Tuesday to Friday

OP posts:
AFistfulofDolores1 · 22/04/2019 22:34

Okay. I see I've posted on your other thread too.

Do you have the insight to be able to help yourself?

AFistfulofDolores1 · 22/04/2019 22:36

You find it awkward to talk about sex.

But you'll tell him you love him.

You need to sort yourself out; not him.

Ellisandra · 22/04/2019 22:53

I don’t think it matters if someone works away in the week that much if you’ve only been dating 4 months - if you miss them, you’re life is too empty and there would put me off someone if they were mooching about declaring that all the time!

It’s different if you’ve lived with someone for ages then they start working away. Of course you’ll miss them from your daily life as it’s a change to routine.

I might quite like a bit of “I love you” - if I was really soppy about the person myself. But “I miss you” would make me think they had no life. Or were just talking shite without actually meaning it.

Silvanna · 25/04/2019 20:14

Too many messages put men off. You'll look desperate and that's not attractive. Better to allow him to think about you and miss you and for that you need to give him some space.
He'll get in touch when he misses you.

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