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Original poster

Do you think my crush might be crushing back?

53 replies

PurpleRainier · 20/04/2019 22:41

I'm aware that I will sound about 13 years old in this post but I promise I'm a fully grown functioning adult Grin have NC because I do so every so often, but long time poster.

Just wanted some opinions on whether I'm reading too much into this? I'm just musing because it ultimately really doesn't matter either way!

I went to a gig last night. Posted something on social media about how hot the lead singer is Blush

A guy I like then made a point of pointing out how physically similar he is to this man. He commented something vague on my post, and then went through the singers page to find a photo of him, sent it to me and said "we're basically the same person".

Do you think this means he wants me to find him attractive? We have had a bit of a flirtation going on for what feels like forever but it's really unlikely anything will ever come from it (we are at very different stages in our life and he is quite a bit younger than me (20 to my 29).

But I've always thought that despite the flirtation the crush was really one sided. Do you reckon he might have a bit of a crush back? Or am I over thinking it??

OP posts:
Torytop · 20/04/2019 22:42

He sounds repellently vain.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 20/04/2019 22:43

He sounds like a twat

Bringbackthestripes · 20/04/2019 22:44

I think that anyone who wants you to see at them in the same way as you do your celebrity crush is best avoided romantically.

Ohyesiam · 20/04/2019 22:44

I think he couldn’t be clearer if he sent you a telegram( whatever that is) telling you he fancies you .

9 years is nothingWink

LuluBellaBlue · 20/04/2019 22:47

It could be his attempt at flirting or more likely he just wants his ego stroking and some attention from you?
I’ve had so many encounters like this over the years and have realised - if he really likes you he’d ask you out!!
If he hasn’t then that saying ‘he’s just not that into you’ springs to mind.
Perhaps you can reply with ‘Yeh a less talented, less handsome version’ just to wind him up Grin

Original poster
PurpleRainier · 20/04/2019 22:49

I can definitely see how thos makes him sound rather twattish. I promise he's actually quite a sweet young man and has been a very good and supportive friend over the past two years!

OP posts:
Hecateh · 20/04/2019 22:55

Go for it - so long as you can see it as a bit of fun. \pretty sure he is up for it = and who knows what might happen

Original poster
PurpleRainier · 20/04/2019 23:04

Hecateh I'm recently (past year) separated from my husband and have been very cautious about dating again. I really like this person, but do have a tendency to overthink and it seems silly to get involved in something that has no potential, given that I know he isn't interested in having children yet and I have a 3yo.

I could try to see it as a bit of fun though, you're right. I don't need to overthink every single thing!

OP posts:
Hogglesballs · 20/04/2019 23:23

Bleugh. He's not vain or a twat, what he is is 20 years old boy.

LikeDolphinsCanSwim · 20/04/2019 23:27

I think he’s just a 20-yr-old flirting.

I find it strange how people jump to the worst possible conclusion on the flimsiest of evidence.

Singlenotsingle · 20/04/2019 23:29

He's just a child, in a very childish stage of life. He's winding you up

Sillybilly1234 · 21/04/2019 00:25

I think he sounds sweet and has used a bit of effort to entice you.

SimonJT · 21/04/2019 00:30

Sounds very flirty to me, go for it and see what happens.

But more importantly, what band did you see?

MashedSpud · 21/04/2019 00:31

Go for it.

CoconutAmericano · 21/04/2019 00:33

Yes, i think he likes you!

Original poster
PurpleRainier · 21/04/2019 07:32

Thanks all, some very mixed responses! I wouldn't say he's childish just because he is young? He already has a professional career (which is how we met) and a mortgage etc. He's a responsible adult, much like any of 20yo women are too!

Anyway I bit the bullet last night and asked if he fancied going for a drink some time - turns out he is keen, and we are going out tomorrow night!

OP posts:
TheStuffedPenguin · 21/04/2019 07:47

He was 18 when he started being a good friend to you ??? And he had a professional career then - at 18 ? And a mortgage based on a salary an unqualified ( Uni wise) an 18 year old would have ? OMG - He was still a child with all the stupid ideas that 18 year olds carry in their heads through lack of experience etc . Grow up and move on . You are way too old for this guy .

NicoAndTheNiners · 21/04/2019 07:50

You're not too old for him. Go out, have fun, take it slow, don't set your expectations high, see what happens.

PositiveVibez · 21/04/2019 07:55

Don't understand why you posted here at all. You didn't want peoples views as you were already going to ask him out. But weird.

Original poster
PurpleRainier · 21/04/2019 07:55

Penguin is that so hard to believe? Without going into too much detail, we met when we worked together when he started an apprenticeship at 18 in the civil service. He completed it after a year and applied for an EO grade job when he was 19 - that was nearly 2 years ago, and he was recently promoted to HEO and managed to get a mortgage with a rather hefty deposit from a family member. It's not unheard of at all. I'm not planning a wedding with the guy, just going for a drink. He's a nice person!

OP posts:
RuffleCrow · 21/04/2019 07:56

Go and have some fun, OP. Just don't expect more than drunken laughs and sex (hopefully not at the same time) Grin

Original poster
PurpleRainier · 21/04/2019 07:57

Positive sorry that you didn't understand why I posted Confused I wasnt planning on asking him out, I was trying to figure out if it was all in my head. A couple of people suggested it might not be, which gave me enough of a confidence boost when talking to him last night to suggest going out for a drink.

OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleRainier · 21/04/2019 07:58

Ruffle Grin

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 21/04/2019 08:04

it seems silly to get involved in something that has no potential, given that I know he isn't interested in having children yet and I have a 3yo

I'm not planning a wedding with the guy, just going for a drink

🤔

Original poster
PurpleRainier · 21/04/2019 08:10

Positive you conveniently missed out the bit where I said I tend to overthink things and maybe shouldn't, and could just look at this as having a bit of fun with someone I like.

Maybe the reason I haven't dated in the year since I split with my husband is because I analyse every bloody thing, and I wont get anywhere if i only date people who I can guarantee will be long term partners.

I mean fuck it, I've been in a serious relationship since I was 17yo, is it so bad for me to date just for fun and not look for something serious right away? So long as I keep him or any others well away from my child, who does it hurt?

OP posts:
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