Just 2 days before my husband's 44th birthday, he left. I was completely blindsided, just 5 weeks prior it was my birthday and per usual, my husband went all out and flew me to the Grand Canyon in a helicopter where we had lunch on the canyon floor. He bragged all over Facebook about "how to treat your lady right," and "how to celebrate her birthday like a boss." My wonderful, bright, fun-loving, compassionate husband of 13 years all of a sudden vanished from my life. He told me we were just each other's rebounds that happened to last 13 years, we don't have any thing in common and he doesn't think that we ever did. He said I would probably be happier with someone who wears a 3-piece suit and works 9-5 and he'd probably be happier with a chick that could party and has tattoos. WHO WAS THIS MAN? He's the one that said perhaps he was having some sort of midlife crisis and he just needed a break for independence. While he was gone for the first couple of weeks, he still told me he loved me, still told me he missed me, was still excited to see me when we set up a lunch or dinner date. Then all of a sudden, he was gone. He stopped answering phone calls and text messages. He wasn't helping me financially to pay the bills of the household and if I did ever get a hold of him, the I love you's and the I miss you's were gone.
At one point after he'd asked me earlier in the day to call him that evening, we were on Facetime and he bluntly asked me, "What is this? What are we doing here? Calling me and sending me text messages isn't giving me space, it's pissing me off. I don't want to be the mean guy who makes you cry but you just won't accept it that I want to be done." Who was this man?
It's now been 5 weeks that he's out of the house. For all of his pandering about wanting to be alone, he's already found and starting sleeping with some other woman. She has 5 kids from a previous relationship (fosters and adopted) and he's now spending time with them on a daily basis, carving pumpkins and all kinds of "family" stuff. We have 2 children that are older (14 & 17) and when I just asked him today what we're going to do at Thanksgiving, he said "Well, we're going to tell them we're not together and if you want to do something with them you can. I'm going over to {his friend's} place where there's going to be a lot of people and food so that is what I am doing." No mention that he was going to be bringing the kids or would invite the kids if they wanted to go ... he's abandoned me and now our children.
I am the only one fighting for him. My friends have all rallied around me to support me during this break-up but they want me to dump him and move one; however, there are a couple of them that understand WHY I am trying so hard to fight for him, yet they also really don't believe I should continue the fight. I know my husband and the man we all see now is NOT my husband. I wish I could just shake him until he gets it, but I'm scared that he's too far gone. I hope and pray that I can not only hold on, not file for divorce and not 'move on' with my life and that he will someday soon realize exactly what he is giving up and missing out on in our beautiful lives.