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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Call from a maried GF at 11pm. WWYD?

37 replies

Inexperiencedchick · 17/04/2019 12:41

So I was at my BF’s yesterday and he got a call at 11pm from his friend. She is married and has a child. Nothing urgent in the call, just a chat...

WWYD?

OP posts:
Huskylover1 · 17/04/2019 12:44

Very strange time to call. Could something be going on between them? Do you have access to his phone? I'd be checking it, tbh.

IncrediblySadToo · 17/04/2019 12:47

WWYD

Why do you need to do anything?

VeronicaDinner · 17/04/2019 12:48

I'd mind my own business.

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 17/04/2019 12:49

Last time when we met I accidentally have seen a picture of him and her, from her birthday. He very quickly hidden phone and didn’t want me to see other photos. My gut quietly told me that it is very strange, but all was slowly fine. And yesterday we didn’t have a nice time to be honest, plus this call on the top. I picked up his language a bit and he mentioned that she finishes early around 2-3pm daytime and then they can meet up. He is not aware of me understanding it.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 17/04/2019 12:50

How long have you been together

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 17/04/2019 12:51

I'd mind my own business

Would you really? Hmm

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 17/04/2019 12:51

Not long...

OP posts:
Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 17/04/2019 12:52

I didn’t say anything.

OP posts:
Youmatter · 17/04/2019 12:53

Go with your gut. If something feels wrong, it usually is. This may not be directly at your man but it may be with you, insecurities etc. If you have discussed how you feel and this still continues, distance yourself and focus on you.

StealthPolarBear · 17/04/2019 12:53

In that case isn't this all more hassle than it's worth

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 17/04/2019 12:56

I appreciate everyone for commenting here. I have also mentioned to him yesterday if he is seeing someone else....

OP posts:
VeronicaDinner · 17/04/2019 12:58

Yes, I would. I would trust that the conversation was innocent.

Youmatter · 17/04/2019 12:59

What did he say?

This is all very early you should be consumed with sickeningly cute lust.

Put yourself first and start acting like the prize you are.

Richmond1972 · 17/04/2019 13:03

i have male friends i speak to. i dont understand if im missing something here. I have one male friend whose married (ive never even met his wife, they married abroad on holiday). I have known him since we were 16 so over 20 years. I moved away and he moved away to uni, got with his wife etc. Always kept in touch and met up when I was home or when we were both working in London we would go for meals. Now we both have kids and have moved back to our hometown. We go for lunch once a week as his office is not far from my office. I ring for chats at all times of the day. I had a leak 6 months ago and DH was away with work, I put in our group chat of uni mates "oh shit, leak" and he was straight round at midnight to help etc.) Still never met or spoken to his wife (no need to really). He also shows no interest in me and is just my friend. My DH has no issue with this, obviously.

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 17/04/2019 13:05

To be honest I walked out already, as he wasn’t pleasant yesterday. I had a bad stomach ache, he gave me a medicine. Didn’t help, he tried to give another one. I refused. He then called me stubborn and stupid. I swallowed his words as it was very late to leave. Then in the middle of the night I had nightmares... he told me off saying he has a busy day ahead and would like to sleep. In the morning I barely spoke to him, and left. Around 10am I texted him asking not to contact me anymore.

OP posts:
Youmatter · 17/04/2019 13:09

Sounds very full on so quickly.

Why would your nightmares impact him?

Also good for you stopping it

CloudsCloudsClouds · 17/04/2019 13:10

What a strange dynamic. You sound more like father and daughter than two adults who should be in the throes of early relationship passion.

NameChangeNugget · 17/04/2019 13:14

Do you not allow boyfriends to have friends? Is the friend was Male would you have an issue?

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 17/04/2019 13:14

Doesn’t matter any more. I just don’t want someone who can speak to me that way. You ought to respect each other in a relationship, this is what I believe in.

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 17/04/2019 13:14

This is very odd. Definitely end this non relationship.

Nothavingfunrightnow · 17/04/2019 13:14

Good for, OP X

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 17/04/2019 13:23

He is going away for 2 weeks with work business. So we had a time to catch up yesterday. We have different sex drives.

I know he likes me, and I do like him too. But some of his comments come across rude to me... during conversation he could say “you sound cheap”, or “I dumped my ex because she was stubborn and wouldn’t do what I ask...”

I don’t need to hear these things, and I definitely don’t want someone to bring me down. I had some work issues recently, and became very insecure due to that. But haven’t seen him being supportive... Or I’m asking to much?

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 17/04/2019 13:24

Ugh he sounds horrible. You've had a narrow escape with that one.

VeronicaDinner · 17/04/2019 13:24

This is an entirely different matter. If he's rude now, he'll only get worse. Ditch him.

Youmatter · 17/04/2019 13:26

He sounds like he has himself on a bit of a pedestal and likes to look down from it occasionally.

You know you’re not asking too much. However this is not how your original post started, it was about a female friend. And now he’s suddenly quite a harsh person too.

You know what’s best for you, don’t settle for less than.

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