Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mean well or interfering in-laws?

52 replies

Belle33 · 12/04/2019 07:52

So, I have lived with my partner for the last 6 years. We are engaged and most of the time are very happy. My in-laws live less than 3 miles from us. My farther in-law comes round every morning, around 7.30am on weekdays and a little later at weekends. He returns in the afternoon and stays for a couple of hours. He does a few jobs like cutting the lawn, takes out bins and takes the dog for a walk. I feel like this is his second home and he enjoys being around us. My mother in law takes it on herself to come round once or twice a week to do my washing and ironing. She sometimes stays longer and cleans the windows or general housework. Whilst I appreciate their help sometimes I feel like my home is being invaded, sometimes after work I just want to chill out, play music and have a glass of wine which is difficult if my in-laws are here. My house sometimes I feel is not my home and I find myself going out to avoid them. They're passive aggressive in the sense that they hold it against me that they 'have' to do these things to keep the house ' in order' and I'm not cut out for domestic duties. The thing is, my partner and I are morethan willing and capable of doing all the things my in-laws do. Am I being ungrateful? I just wish they would get on with their own life and let us get on with ours. TIA!

OP posts:
Belle33 · 17/04/2019 07:54

So, on Sunday I confronted my parter with the aid of all the comments on MN. I read them all out....I explained that I used to think his parents were thinking they were helping me but now I realise it's more about control and empowerment. I informed him that for us to work he needs to cut his apron strings and live life in the real world. I haven't seen his mum since.....she hasn't been round once this week...result! The farther in-laws in continuing with his routine but it's been a way of life for him for many years so he's not going to back off over night. It's a working progress! Ultimately my parter wants to move away, mainly because of his parents I think. It just seems so drastic! Why should I?! All comments really did help me tackle this issue, I thank you all.

OP posts:
another20 · 17/04/2019 09:32

Is the FIL routine to avoid the MIL?

Well done for dealing with it - and good that your OH is on board - hold HIM to it tho - day in day out.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.