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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Younger man for casual fun?

44 replies

Sharkirasharkira · 09/04/2019 15:51

Newly single. For various reasons prior to breaking up dp and I were not having sex so I've been effectively celibate for a few months and tbh I am gagging for a shag!

I don't want another relationship right now but I've never really 'done' casual sex before. I think it's more of a mental block because I have this expectation that if I'm having sex with someone I 'should' be in a relationship with them.

Anyway, I've been approached by someone who has expressed an interest and I'm very tempted. Only, he is 22 and I'm mid 30's! I don't think I would want a relationship with someone so much younger as I think our lives would be a bit incompatible but since I don't want a relationship now..is just sex ok? Or is it a bit weird? Never been in this position before!

OP posts:
fitzbilly · 09/04/2019 15:52

Ha! Go for it, but at 22 he may need some training, so to speak!

KylieKoKo · 09/04/2019 15:53

Go for it! Part of me misses having flings (don't tell dp)

fitzbilly · 09/04/2019 15:54

Having sex for fun, when both parties know where they stand, and both parties are single, is perfectly fine in my opinion.

IlluminatiParty · 09/04/2019 15:56

Haaaa, of the stories I could tell... So much more enthusiasm and stamina... Erections you could hang your coat on... But beware, because emotionally they can be immature and in my experience you have to be very clear if it's just a fling as I spent ages trying to shake a lad off after a Tinder style hook up... I was mid forties he was younger than your guy... Blush

MIA12 · 09/04/2019 16:01

If you think you can separate feelings from sex then go for it. Remember those happy bonding hormones can change your feelings even if you don’t really want them to. I know sex can make me feel quite bonded and loved up with someone so casual wouldn’t really work for me. Only you know if you can stay detached.

Politicalacuityisathing · 09/04/2019 16:03

I had similar experience in my late 20s. I had never done casual sex. It was a revelation! If anything he trained me! He would spend ages making sure I felt good and in fact gave me my first mind-blown, stars in my eyes orgasm Blush. Most definitely go for it!

Order654 · 09/04/2019 16:04

Go for itWine

TangyToms · 09/04/2019 16:08

Go for it!

Meangirls36 · 09/04/2019 16:19

#cougar life#justdoit

Chocolateisfab · 09/04/2019 16:21

At 38 I had a fling with a 22 yo budding golf pro!!
Go for it!!
Oh and my dh is ten years younger now!

Chocolateisfab · 09/04/2019 16:21

Oh shit meant ten years younger than me (him 38!)not 16!!

sadmummyatthemo · 09/04/2019 16:23

Just do it!,life's too short,my friend was 45 when she had a friend with benefits who was 27,she said it was fun

BasilBrushes · 09/04/2019 16:25

Do it! Who cares, have fun!

Middersweekly · 09/04/2019 17:24

Blimey 22! I am the same age as you OP but I wouldn’t go near a 22 year old! I think my limit would be 25! That said, loads of men our age would jump at the chance so all things considered, why the hell not lol!

Musti · 09/04/2019 17:28

As long as he knows it will just be a physical relationship then it's fine. I would personally find him way way too young and it wouldn't feel right.

Sharkirasharkira · 09/04/2019 18:16

I don't mind doing a bit of training if necessary Grin

I generally don't separate sex and love very well however I think my mindset is different at the moment, I genuinely don't want the hassle of a relationship at the moment, I just want some fun!

He looks a bit older than 22 so it doesn't seem quite so weird.

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 09/04/2019 18:44

It’s a no brainer! Enjoy Flowers

BarbieJellyBabyBrain · 09/04/2019 18:51

Haaaa, of the stories I could tell... So much more enthusiasm and stamina... Erections you could hang your coat on...

Sorry... So, erm, what were we talking about? Ah yes the 22 year old fuck buddy - I say go for it Grin

tootruetoyou · 09/04/2019 22:31

Just be careful you don't catch feelings. Being an older woman with a much younger guy can potentially put you in a vulnerable position. You get feelings they, just move on to someone younger and prettier and you're left feeling a bit used and foolish.

Grandmasterflush · 09/04/2019 22:37

Half your age plus seven is the widely enforced rule on mumsnet.

Sharkirasharkira · 09/04/2019 22:44

Been there, done that @tootruetoyou! Ex fiancé of 5 years left me for an 18yr old. She's a size 6, big boobs, the works. No way I can compete Sad I'm so traumatised by it I'm now on medication. It's taking me a long time to get over it.

Hence why I don't want a relationship Grin Too much hassle and I have no trust or faith left in men for now. I need to heal and build myself back up again, so strictly physical/light & breezy to take care of my needs is all I want right now!

OP posts:
LellyMcKelly · 09/04/2019 22:49

Oh, he’ll be like a jack hammer! He’ll probably be able to do it 5 times a night too. Stock up on KY, put your best Barry White CD on, and put some snacks and Lucozade under your bed. Totally go for it.

StarlightLady · 10/04/2019 05:38

Plesantly surprised to see the positive responses on here without the MM Moral Police stepping in.

TemporaryPermanent · 10/04/2019 06:10

I saw a 27 yr old for a first date a couple of weeks ago - I'm 50. It was crazy fun. we're meeting again in about a month probably - both too busy for anything sooner. He was absolutely lovely to me and as sweet as a peach.

I'm happy to have my other lads though, who range from 54 down to 35, who are all infrequent get togethers though frequent chatters. I wouldn't want to put more than one egg in any basket at the moment for similar reasons to you - I come out in a rash at the thought of an actual relationship. consider safety in numbers.

beans82 · 10/04/2019 14:44

Some of the responses on this posts have literally made me LOL....love it!! Im with the others, just go for it!!!

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