Younger man for casual fun?

[Sharkirasharkira]

Newly single. For various reasons prior to breaking up dp and I were not having sex so I've been effectively celibate for a few months and tbh I am gagging for a shag!

I don't want another relationship right now but I've never really 'done' casual sex before. I think it's more of a mental block because I have this expectation that if I'm having sex with someone I 'should' be in a relationship with them.

Anyway, I've been approached by someone who has expressed an interest and I'm very tempted. Only, he is 22 and I'm mid 30's! I don't think I would want a relationship with someone so much younger as I think our lives would be a bit incompatible but since I don't want a relationship now..is just sex ok? Or is it a bit weird? Never been in this position before!

I'm mid 30's and not for me, I wouldn't date under 25 as they are still evolving a lot and I find the 'training' comment to be quite creepy.

I'm happy to have my other lads though, who range from 54 down to 35, who are all infrequent get togethers .....and..... I come out in a rash

Phnarr....phnarr.....

How come when people post about men in their mid 30s 'training' women under 25 it's called creepy but when women do it it's all shits and giggles. Under 25 are still really immature. If a mid 30's woman used my 22 year old for sex I'd deck you.

I'm wondering the same thing - I've only been with my h, who has decided he wants to be my ex h! It's scary

#justdoit

I'm also not one for casual sex, but I have needs, dammit! I'm also mid thirties and am horny as hell! I would love a respectable younger guy to approach me for no strings attached sex - though I worry about bonding as mentioned upthread - so much more stamina and willingness to please! Also, our sex drives would probably match perfectly

Where do I sign up!

im 30 and wouldnt go near a 22 year old. mind you 25 would be too young for me aswell.

@potatonose I agree. It is creepy.

find the 'training' comment to be quite creepy

Imagine the uproar at an older man saying this about a young woman. Eurgh

If a mid 30's woman used my 22 year old for sex I'd deck you.

😂

I'm sure any 22 year old bloke who had approached a woman for sex would absolutely love it if his Mum got involved and started getting all lairy at said woman about it!

Go for it!

When my mother was in her early 50s, for a couple of years, she had a FWB who was in his early 20s (a year older than me....). In both their minds it was always a fling and they ended on good terms - still doing Xmas cards even now!

After this, Mum still dated younger men - usually only 10yrs or so her junior. I remember her muttering things about how she kept herself fit and in good shape yet all the men her age were 'letting themselves go'.

48. 25

"Too much hassle and I have no trust or faith left in men for now. I need to heal and build myself back up again, so strictly physical/light & breezy to take care of my needs is all I want right now!"

What you need Shakira is actually to be further counselled and to love your own self for a change; not some random to have sex on. If you do want to build yourself back up again and mean it then what you're suggesting is patently not the way to go about it. You could in all likelihood end up feeling a lot worse than you do now, not just to say used or even with a STI.

I just couldn't shag anyone I could have given birth to

Having a nice, emotionally undemanding time with an interested man does not have to make you feel used. It's possible to avoid STIs as a rule. Why is sex supposed to be so difficult, challenging and dangerous? Sometimes it isn't.

Oh yes, do it!

Well quite @TemporaryPermanent. If anything, rather than making me feel used, the fact that he is really keen is a boost to my self esteem, which has taken a bit of a kicking lately!

I think maybe some PP are making too much out of the 'training' comment. Obviously I'm not going to sit him down classroom style, or give him a manual. Isn't there always an element of 'training/teaching' with a new partner, of any age, as you get to know each other and what you both like? We're all different, we like different things, so you have to learn that - me about him as much as the other way around.

@Tinkerballs1 Fortunately that isn't the case here. Even if it was, my parent's 38yr marriage proves that it can sometimes work out even with a big age gap. My dad is technically old enough to be my grandad but they are happy together.

I am trying to learn how to love myself again. Part of that is taking care of my sexual needs, and if I have a willing participant who I find attractive then what's the harm?

As for the 'I'd deck you' comment Really? You'd be that up in arms about two adults having a sexual relationship which is none of your business? I don't plan to mistreat him at all, if anything it's the opposite. As long as we're both happy with the arrangement, what's the problem? Also, HE approached ME. Would you also 'deck him' for wanting to 'use' an older woman for sex?

Anyways, we're enjoying flirting and chatting for now but I think I will meet him when we both have some free time. It's fun and I'm enjoying it!

OP: I left a 21 year year relationship that was emotionally abusive. I left him and my sex drive rocketed. I had a 6 month thing with a guy my age, that ended amicably and I delved into tinder. I am 40, and during that time I had some fun with some guys, the youngest being 25. I had one month at tinder gold, and my "likes" ranged from 18 upwards. He as massively keen, we only saw each other a few times because I ended up back with the guy I was seeing before. As long as you see it as it is an vow not to get attached I don't see any issue with it. During my tinder time, I regressed back to my late teens I think as I missed out on all that as I was in relationship from the age of just 17. The casual sex with younger guys was just what I needed to boost my self esteem and basically I f**ked the pain away during that time. It heped me (not saying that would work for everyone but it did)

I would do it again if I was in that position, so long as you are safe, have eyes wide open, and are self aware, I don't see any issue. Go for it, and have fun!

When I was 37, I had a relationship with a man of 24. We were very compatible. But, exercise caution. I did actually fall for this guy, but he didn't feel the same, despite everything being really great between us. I think he was just too young really. He's 36 now, and has only recently married.

Bear in mind also, that whilst you are devoting head space to casual fuck buddies, you're not open to meeting a guy who you could actually be in a nice relationship with.

IMO, women who are regularly having nice sex with a guy, do normally start to bond and get feelings. It's the way we are wired, what with all those oxytocin hormones that are released during sex, which women are more susceptible to than men.