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Original poster

Is this too much? Or not right?

28 replies

AlwaysSunshine81 · 08/04/2019 22:20

Been seeing someone for 18 months, had a break at Xmas but got back in contact. He’s never involved me worh his child (4) burn occaisonally he’s popped round to mine for a cuppa when my children are here (16, 12 and 4) or in the evening.
Our evenings consist of dinner drinks and sex most of the time.
Sometimes he takes hours to reply to me, on the rare occasion he’s quick to reply.
We never get together with kids but when we split up in October time last year he said he wanted to... however he’s had his child for 5 nights and not asked to get together. It’ll be a morning text of hi how’s you what u doing and then nothing until evening.....
I don’t really know what I’m saying or what I’m wanting but I don’t get the whole thing

OP posts:
Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 08/04/2019 22:21

And never ever text to say good night

OP posts:
ccgirr · 08/04/2019 22:24

Maybe he’s just not a texter. I’m trying to get used to this too. Does he call? How often do you see each other. 18 months seems long not to have met son to me.

Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 08/04/2019 22:27

I’ve met his son but only a handful of times, not spent much fine together. He doesn’t call, but I know he doesn’t like to text much but for me that’s annoying cos we both sit on our own at nighttime so why doesn’t he text!

OP posts:
Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 08/04/2019 22:27

We see each other twice a week maybe

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 08/04/2019 22:29

If you split at Christmas, you've only been back together about 3 months. He's obviously wary of introducing someone he's unsure of to his young son. And quite rightly imo.

ccgirr · 08/04/2019 22:32

The thing is if you not happy with it then you should mention it. I presume it’s hard getting together without kids? That’s issue I have so I do see bf’s kids as wouldn’t see him if didn’t. He calls me every night.

Thingsdogetbetter · 09/04/2019 09:25

I presume you mean dinner and drinks at your home, then sex? Who pays for food and drinks? Do you go on dates? Doesn't sound like it. Have you asked for more contact? Expressed it in words, rather than hoping he'll read your mind?

Boilerbap · 09/04/2019 09:47

Do you alternate between his house and yours? I'm assuming dinner drinks and sex isn't just inside- you go out?

I'm assuming you're worried that he doesn't seem invested in you. I think the likelihood of this depends on what's going on exactly. If you are going out for dinner and drinks and then having sex (at both places) then I would just leave it a little longer. Soon it will be nice outside and I would expect to do more day time stuff at weekends etc.

If you're having food and wine at your house then sex and he leaves at night or the next morning then that's a different story....

Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 09/04/2019 17:20

We go round each other’s houses to have dinner and drinks and then sex yes. We very rarely go out together and it’s bearly always evening times.
We had an issue at Xmas and then he decided he wanted to see me again and said we would spend time together worh the kids a bit more and that hasn’t happened. Also he hasn’t text me at all since 9pm last night and didn’t reply to my last message.
Just don’t really know where it’s going or even thinking I can be bothered with a relationship

OP posts:
Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 09/04/2019 17:20

He is interested in me I have no doubt about that

OP posts:
ccgirr · 09/04/2019 19:53

I get the struggle to go out as we nearly always have one or others kids so can only really stay in but weekends we go out all together with kids in day and just appreciate infrequent times we have none!

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 10/04/2019 19:30

Sounds pretty boring to me. Bin and move on to someone who has more imagination.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 10/04/2019 19:35

You hate His communication style have you asked him to change? It’s not hard to reply to a text is it , very simple to make you happy

For an early day relationship it’s a bit full and pizza but if you are happy with this then all’s dandy
He is seeing other women ?

Nofunkingworriesmate · 10/04/2019 19:36

*dull

Boopeedoop · 10/04/2019 21:24

Sounds like a fuck buddy situation to me. This isn't going anywhere.

Chocolateisfab · 10/04/2019 21:29

Invent a dose of cystitis and put sex off the menu for a fortnight. See how much you do /don't hear from him...

Epona1 · 10/04/2019 21:57

Sounds like a FWB situation with dinner thrown in.

BumbleBeee69 · 10/04/2019 22:05

Yes it's a FWB situ Flowers

crappyday2018 · 10/04/2019 22:06

He doesn't sound like he's serious about you, sorry. The relationship isn't moving forward in any way.

Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 10/04/2019 23:36

I am getting bored! And feel it’s not going anywhere although I’m not really sure where I want it to go! He doesn’t even say goodnight

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 11/04/2019 00:00

You are in a stagnant relationship with no movement. You should be going out more, doing interesting things together. He said in October and again in December that you’d spend more time with the children, but it is April and that hasn’t materialized.

Move on.

SandyY2K · 11/04/2019 00:08

It's not working for you. That's enough reason to move on.

shakenfizzydrink · 11/04/2019 00:34

End it. He's not into a relationship, he's into sex and food.

Original poster
AlwaysSunshine81 · 18/04/2019 22:18

So it’s getting to the weekend and he’s asked when I’m free and I’m getting anxious about it all.
We have been out twice this year together, once for a pizza and Valentine’s Day for spa day.

OP posts:
Amelia17 · 18/04/2019 22:23

Really sorry to say but he’s using you for sex ! Hard truth but it sounds to me like it ! Once you accept it and move on in your head your be able to answer so I carry on or stop it !!good luck x

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