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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Crazy psycho bitch

30 replies

CrazyPsychoBitch · 13/07/2007 10:55

Have changed my name for this;
last night me and DP had blazing row in which i told him i was going to stab him in his sleep and then i got so upset that he hid the knives from me whilst i was begging him to slit my wrists, i have been feeling quite depressed recently (im also pregnant) he rang up my parents to take me home because he said he doesnt feel safe sleeping around me, i can understand what hes saying, is this the end of us???
WHAT HAVE I DONE???????????????
i didnt mean it and love him more than ive ever loved anybody, we have been together 3.5 years and i fear this might be the end of us
Please tell me what a stupid bitch i am

OP posts:
Iklboo · 13/07/2007 10:57

You're pregnant, your hormones are raging and you could even have pre-natal depression. See your doc, hv or midwife ASAP. Get DP to go with you if you can so he understands too. PLEASE see someone.

Carmione · 13/07/2007 10:57

You need professional help I think, call your gp now. At least that will show your dp that you are taking action about your behaviour.

suzywong · 13/07/2007 10:58

Ummmm...well on the face of things you do seem to have more than one foot in the Frickin' Loon camp, however I 'm sure there is more to your anxiety than meets the eye.

Little chat with your GP perhaps?

TaylorsMummy · 13/07/2007 10:59

this sounds like more than just depression.you need help.you sound mentally unwell.i don't have experience of this myself so can't advise further but try and see someone asap.

elesbellsrae · 13/07/2007 10:59

you do need to see your gp. when is your baby due?

Original poster
CrazyPsychoBitch · 13/07/2007 11:02

DC due in Dec
i have had outbursts like this before (never threatening to stab him) but i have hit myself before and headbutted walls (which left me a lump that took nearly two weeks to go) i just get so angry sometimes and these outbursta are all i can do to stop myself hurting him, i love him so much

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 13/07/2007 11:03

For yourself and your relationship and your children, you need to see a doctor asap. Please get help.

OrmIrian · 13/07/2007 11:06

Please see a doctor.

elesbellsrae · 13/07/2007 11:07

do you know what 'sets you off'? is it something he says or does? have you always had a temper?

MaccaMacca · 13/07/2007 11:07

I echo the others. Make that call just now, I am surprised your parents have not advised this.

moopymoo · 13/07/2007 11:10

Really, see a doctor. today. or go to A&E. it sounds like your body is not dealing well with the pregnancy hormones. you can get help for this. please ring them before you harm yourself or someone else.

wannaBe · 13/07/2007 11:12

I do think you need professional help, but... being totally honest here...

If a woman posted on here that her dh had gone mental during a row and threatened to stab her in her sleep there would be hundreds of posts telling her to ring women's aid and to get out for hers and her children's safety. Imo the same applies for your dh. If he does not feel safe around you then you cannot expect him to stay. Do you have other children?

Original poster
CrazyPsychoBitch · 13/07/2007 11:12

last night he was winding me up with racist jokes and comments, he never used to do that when i first met him, and i was disagreeing with everything he said and he just kept on and i just started saying whatever beleive what you like and he chucked me off him (we were laying in bed) and started laying into me and wouldnt just give me a cuddle (this always calms me down and he knows this) i just flipped out

OP posts:
pigleto · 13/07/2007 11:39

Actually it doesn't matter what filth came out of his mouth, he could say anything to you and still not expect you to threaten to stab him.

divastrop · 13/07/2007 11:48

it doesnt really sound like a healthy relationship from either side IMO.

i had ante-natal depression with dd3,and it did make me act out of character,sometimes i was really nasty to dp,but i was never violent and he never feared for his safety.

on one hand.i know what AND is like and how badly pregnancy hormones can affect you,but on the other i have been on the recieving end of violence and threats and know there is no excuse for it.

the question is,is he the right person for you,if he is being verbally abusive to you?

i think you need to go and see your gp NOW,sort out ad's/councelling/whatever it takes,then think about your relationship when you start feeling better,if you still have a relationship.

Original poster
CrazyPsychoBitch · 13/07/2007 12:48

its not just the prenancy that makes me like this, and i would never hurt him, im much more likely to hurt myself, i used to cut my arms to peices and have taken probably more than 10 overdoses in 6 years, i find i cry my self to sleep silently quite often, i would never hurt him, i think he is just taking the news of my prenancy difficult, we didnt want a child, yet at least, i had already had 1 abortion and i just couldnt go through another one and now i feel a bit 'stuck'

OP posts:
TaylorsMummy · 13/07/2007 12:56

you need help.can you go and see someone today - GP?? and maybe think about seeing a counsellor,do you want to keep the baby? if you don't,they can advise you on your options.tbh,i don't think there is an excuse for your behaviour towards your dp and i don't blame him for leaving.i wouldn't stay with someone who made me fear for my safety.he probably feels completely miserable and trapped to be having a child with you,sorry.

WigWamBam · 13/07/2007 12:59

Go to A&E and ask to see the duty psychiatrist. You need help, and you need it now, not in a couple of days time when the GP can fit you in.

Please do it.

Original poster
CrazyPsychoBitch · 13/07/2007 13:00

you dont think i feel trapped? i have spoken to my doctor i=on the phone a few mins ago and all she said is there is no magical cure that is going to make me ok and that i have to control my actions and that there is no desiese or disorder that is making me like this, i feel like nobody has any time for me and i feel unloved, my dad calmly told me last week that he didnt love me any more sometimes i feel if i kill my self it would be better for me and baby

OP posts:
GreengottsTheGoblinBank · 13/07/2007 13:00

My advice: Put your coat on, go out NOW straight to your GP surgery/walk in centre/A&E, whichever's nearest, and tell them that you are a danger to yourself and you need to see the Community Psychiatric Nurse, today.

This isn't your fault, but it IS your problem, and you owe it to yourself and your baby to take action. You will be much, much happier once you are doing something constructive to get yourself out of this pit you ahve fallen into.

I have huge sympathy for you, I hope you get the help you need.

TaylorsMummy · 13/07/2007 13:01

go to A & E now,your gp sounds shit and is talking bollocks.

Wisteria · 13/07/2007 13:02

What WigWamBam said - go to hospital now, please.

OrmIrian · 13/07/2007 13:05

Stupid GP! No indication as to how you are supposed to control your actions. How does she know there isn't a disorder causing it?

Wisteria · 13/07/2007 13:09

negligent IMO

Difers · 13/07/2007 13:29

Have you tried a helpline like Saneline?

0845 767 8000

www.sane.org.uk

I know that it can be really difficult to access services and GP's aren't always very understanding.

Please give them a ring.

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