Online dating are they all dickheads??

[Lollyjack]

So I met a man online been talking for a couple of months met up a few times but he disappears for a few days at a time no messages doesn’t answer calls. So I was supposed to be going to see him yesterday messaged him in the morning asking what time he wanted to meet (no firm time) read message no answer. So I left it a while and messaged again read and no answer again can see him going online but not replying so I try to call him no answer. Now only on Friday he was saying how it’s only me he want to be with ect ect now total radio silence I can see him online but nothing. I have messaged today basically telling him where to go but my god is it so hard to just say sorry not what I want anymore ?

Sorry but this is very common. In my experience (especially of OLD), men just disappear, rather than just tell you they've changed their mind. Not sure why but it would seem they would rather avoid things than face up to them.
I also think that guys think that, because its OLD, they can behave differently.
I would block him and move on.

I’ve already done the blocking just needed a rant I guess x

It's irritating when someone does that after that length of time but to be honest - met up a few times in a couple of months ? He clearly wasn't very interested from the start . It's them not you , always remember that . I am extremely happy with my partner now and met him online so they are not all dickheads - just some :-P

you messaged him twice and then called him even though he was ignoring you. Im sorry but theres your answer

I met a few like that (well more "came across" rather than actual met) however I also met my DP (within a short amount of time) so I suppose you just have to take the rough with the smooth and don't get too caught up with the ones that don't come to anything. It really is a numbers game.

I did message and call him yes my mistake believe me it won’t happen again. I’m not upset just a bit pissed off tbh lol. X

It still never fails to amaze me how some men behave (and I'm sure women too). I recently matched with someone who 'seemed' ideal. He messaged me first and we chatted over a couple of days. He sent me 2 messages one night but when I went to open them he had either unmatched me or deleted his account.
Fast forward a month and he's on another site. I was curious so right swiped and we matched (so he must have right swiped me first). I messaged him and he unmatched me straight away. I mean wtf?
I have zero expectations now.

@Lollyjack just try to remember that if it seems they are making no effort, get rid. The fact he didn't confirm those arrangements should have told you just to delete him.
You do learn these things unfortunately.....

I met my husband online dating. There are A LOT of idiots on it though.

Yup lolly jack, never ever chase! If they don't answer a message by 48 hours, delete! They ain't that into you.

There are plenty good men online. Be patient and make sure you know your own worth!

I always say if they can treat shit on a first date, how will they be treating you after the first year!

Good luck :)

Thanks to you all yes unfortunately you do learn I definitely won’t make the mistake again xx

@the godmother thank you x

@Lollyjack I'm actually surprised he didn't block you first. Blokes like that are also famous for getting in there first.

No I’ve blocked him on online site but left WhatsApp to see if he blocks me so far he hasn’t x

Don't go for the good looking eye candy guys. 99% of the time they are players. Try and connect with someone who has a decent job, who actually puts some effort into writing a profile, and who you have shared interests with.

@Lollyjack I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. He is probably leaving you there in case he changes his mind then he will message out of the blue with some lame excuse. I'd block him cos then you can just move on and forget.

DH’s best friend (Male) has tried OLD and walked. Received some very erratic & slightly unhinged messages from several women.

I think you’ve been unlucky OP but, you are right. It seems to attract the dickheads from both sexes.

Keep going though. Despite all the hideous stories you read nice ones like @Sexnotgender

Good luck

He wasn’t a proper good looking man I went for the the things in common ect but hey live and learn. Yes I’ve had some pretty unsavory messages to but I just block and forget xx

I think the term "ghosting" applies these days. It's too easy to simply ignore someone rather than send a polite message.

If it gives you some hope, I met my OH online 7 years ago. There's a lot of oddballs out there but also a few genuinely nice ones too

Thank you @latetothegame83 & sexnotgender It’s a relief to know this online dating does actually work. Guess you have to kiss a few frogs. Xx

I think the problem comes when we eject virtual strangers to put us at the top of their texting list ...quick tip from someone who married her tinder match - if they're into you it won't be difficult, that goes for both sexes.

Expect not eject 😂

I think OLD gives a false impression of choice - especially on apps like Tinder, there are hundreds and hundreds of women on there and some of these men can't bear to stick with just one in case someone "better" is around the corner. I gave up on OLD in the end because converting a conversation to actually meeting up was so much hassle.

You talk to so many idiots before you will meet someone nice if you do at all it’s bloody soul destroying tbh
I met a guy went out for a few months and he showed me his true colours and then stalked me and I had to get the police on to him so I hadn’t dated for over 2 years as I was so upset by it all.

Since I went back on online dating I talked to a guy for 3 months met once and he was lovely then he ghosted me but did get a text saying he wasn’t ready for all this
Bloody muppet, talked to a few more one dick pic and a policeman who was a real oddball.
so I haven’t wasted months again chat, arrange to meet then do it.

Now been with the most lovely guy for 9 weeks so fingers crossed all continues to go well. Fingers crossed for you too,

My one bit of advice for OLD...

Date like a man.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Don’t waste months chatting before you meet up.

I chatted to a guy for about ten days before we met, got on great over text, really clicked... hated him in person (well not hated but zero attraction).

The week I met my future husband, I had 3 drinks, 2 coffee and one dinner date set up. All with different guys.

As it happens DH was drinks date number 2 and I immediately cancelled everything else! I just knew he was the one. We’re now married and have a 9 week old son.