WWYD OH friend in my inbox

[SteveTheSpiderPlant]

I went out with my newish partner at the weekend and met his friends for the first time. It is a large group of couples, brothers, sisters, school friends. They have all been a group for many many years.

They all made an effort to talk to me, the men and the women and I felt included.

At one point I had been talking to DP and two of his male friends. DP broke off to talk to someone else and so did the other male friend leaving me talking to Friend X. during the conversation friend X got upset so I awkwardly patted his back and offered him a tissue. I changed the subject and all was fine. DP came back and joined us and it all moved on.

The next day the friend requested to follow me on Insta, a few of OHs other friends follow me so I just casually mentioned it to OH and he said oh that's fine X is a good guy.

This morning I have woken up to a message from the friend. Nothing untoward but I feel a bit uncomfortable about it.

I don't want to cause trouble in a long standing friendship group but nor do I want to look like I have something to hide so I am going to mention it to DP tonight when I see him.

Am I reading too much into this? I wouldn't dream of messaging my friends new partners?

@pissedonatrain what acronym would you deem suitable? We have been in a relationship for 6 months if that has any relevance? I thought DP or OH made it pretty easy to identify who is who in the post.

Sounds like he's got the beer fear and probably wants to check he didn't make an arse of himself. On the other hand, maybe he feels like there was a connection between you? I'd be careful and probably mention it to your OH.

But why did he cry? Could be beer fear, could be he felt a deep emotional connection, could be he shared something others don't know and his trying to find out if you shared it.

He cried because he split up with his ex in January and he hasn't seen his child for three weeks because she won't let him. I am sure the others know because the bloke who was with us said oh X has had a really hard time this year, then left the conversation.

Well I think I was right to assume creep..

I sent - Head is fine thanks, DP and I spent most of yesterday in bed recovering. Can't remember most of it but had a great time ha x

to which he replied pretty instantly -

Oh I am still drunk, better get to bed soon. on nights tomorrow. Could do with a personal back tickler xx

just seems a bit weird. Not answering that one.

Well...your message was sexual and really, really not what I would text to my fella's mates.

Are you having a laugh? You can't be that naive.

Yep, creepy. Tell your boyfriend.

Creeeeeeeep - well sensed! No wonder his ex kicked him out. Block and delete. Tell your DP

I don’t think OP’s response was sexual!
She also made it clear to mention DP in the message?
OP from his response yes, definitely ignore and tell partner. He’s a CF creep!

My message wasn't sexual, we were in bed sleeping off a hangover, what is sexual about it?

I was making a point of mentioning DP.

I thought your reply was good! But I wouldn't reply to his second message it's very strange

Creep indeed!

Although I think your reply back was verging on inappropriate also - referring to you and your dp in bed is a bit of an overshare, and the 'X' isn't something I would have included.
I just think you shouldn't have engaged with him at all.

Block him!

But screenshot the msgs first, so that you have proof of exactly what was said, should he ever give your dp a different version of events

He's trying his luck the creep.

Just fucking block him.

Why have the tools there at your fingers tips and refuse to use them for fear of not seeming 'nice'?

I was about to reply that his first message was fishing for a flirt. Then I saw your update... I was right.

Tell your DP. Ignore the creep. Any further contact will suggest to him that you're interested in banter and give him the green light to flirt some more.

Screenshot and block.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt because they have all been friends for a very long time. Just hope it isn't awkward next time I get invited out.

If you block him it would make it awkward.. I wouldn't block him just don't reply back to his messages

Blocking would not be awkward for you but hopefully awkward for him .... block away

Totally disagree! Just some lonely bloke, don't get overexcited. It's a storm in a teacup. Reply or don't reply, so what.

Totally disagree! Just some lonely bloke

What kind of a person messages the partner of a friend stuff like that the day after meeting them? Doesn't matter how lonely they are.

If one of my friends did that, they wouldn't be my friend for much longer.

Mountain > molehill. Don't reply again, ever. The end.

What a feckin chancer

I wouldn't reply and I would show your oh saying that you don't know him but feel it's inappropriate.

Weird as fuck and really inappropriate. Not even slightly a mountain out of a molehill. This is someone with no boundaries, in crisis - avoid. Reminds me of a colleague i know who is a sad, desperate letch going through a divorce, behaved similarly to anyone who showed him (platonic) kindness. There's no excuse. Its creepy. Show BF, tell him youre not comfortable with it, block, do not allow on any social media. Let his mates deal with his breakdown. Don't let bf say, oh xx is harmless. Yeah, if youre a bloke.

Since your update he was clearly fishing to start engaging you. Just don't ever reply again.

Definitely show your partner. He needs to know what his so called 'friend' is up to. Back tickler? Bang out of order!!

I personally would reply with "I beg your pardon?!"