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Relationships

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Original poster

Is age really something to think about?

36 replies

Thatkindaguy · 08/04/2019 04:01

Hi all,

I’m a single male who is 36 and over the past few months I’ve been having some thoughts which have caused me to worry.

I’m 36 a recently I’ve put myself back on the dating scene. I’ve never been married, good job, no children, but want them and I have been told I’m handsome/not bad looking.

My question is do you think my age would put someone off wanting to date me? Am I going to find it hard to meet a partner who would want children?

I suppose im having one of those panicked moments in life. You’re thoughts would be appreciate ladies...

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 08/04/2019 04:10

You sound lovely to me. I fail to see why your age would be an issue at all.

PicsInRed · 08/04/2019 07:31

What age range are you looking at?
Are you willing to consider women with a child or children already?

hidinginthenightgarden · 08/04/2019 07:34

36 isn't old but I think you will find many women your age have a child already. Something to think about.

whitehalleve · 08/04/2019 07:50

I think it's more likely to be the opposite. If someone is looking to settle down and have kids then someone your age and older is a good bet!

EleanorOalike · 08/04/2019 08:25

Well I’m 35, single no kids and looking for someone my age. Unfortunately only men in their late teens/early twenties and men 15+ years older seem to show an interest!

I don’t see why your age should be an issue...unless you are looking to only date a certain age group, like much younger yourself?

The guys my/our age that I know seem to only be interested in women under 25. They are having no problems getting in relationships with them but a couple are having issues to do with a difference in maturity and expectations once in the relationship. I think that totally depends on the individual though.

bobstersmum · 08/04/2019 08:37

How can any of us answer your question? You won't know until you try, and mn isn't a dating site!

SimonJT · 08/04/2019 08:40

I’m 31 and single, I have lots of male and female friends of a similar age who are single, so I wouldn’t worry.

MairzyDoats · 08/04/2019 08:43

36 is no age, just be careful when you are dating that you're looking for a life long companion, not a brood mare for children, because that would put me off!

Original poster

Thatkindaguy · 08/04/2019 12:32

Hi all thanks for you’re replies

Picsinred I suppose the age range I’m looking at is 30-37.

Yes i would consider women with children already. Sorry don’t know how to link names to a post.

OP posts:

VanessaShanessaJenkins · 08/04/2019 12:54

Where are you? I have a 32 year old single friend you sound perfect for

EleanorOalike · 08/04/2019 12:55

It’s definitely not going to be an issue with that age range @Thatkindaguy.

A lot of us are tired of being hit on by guys old enough to be our Dads and would be delighted to meet someone who is also in their 30s. Especially when there are also no strings attached. From experience in my social circles, it’s quite rare (in a good way) to meet a decent guy in his 30s who isn’t already settled down and who is looking for a serious relationship. I’d say the odds are in your favour - Good Luck!

Singlenotsingle · 08/04/2019 12:57

Are you for real?

twitterbird · 08/04/2019 13:04

Wouldn't put me off at all, in fact I have a single friend you sound perfect for!

RedPanda2 · 08/04/2019 13:19

As long as your age range isn't 20-25 (this is very common) then i think you'll be fine

Fundays12 · 08/04/2019 13:28

My husband was 38 when we got together and I was 29. He was 40 when our first child was born, 43 when second was born and will be 46 when this baby is born. He wasn’t looking for a younger wife I just happened to be younger. There is always possibilities but you need to be honest as he was that he was looking to settle down (in his case kids were a case of he was happy to have or not too).

Bubblegumgal · 08/04/2019 18:19

Yeah you’ll be fine OP, I’m not single but if I was that would be the age bracket I’d be going for (I’m 28) Personally speaking though (probably because I already have a child) as much as age & maturity would be important to me, so would finding someone who is also already good with children.

Marlena1 · 08/04/2019 18:26

When I was single at 33 and ready to settle down and have children this would have been the age range I was looking for and I know many others that this was the case for too.

Boysey45 · 08/04/2019 20:41

Most women at your age will have children/ been married/ serious relationship before.
I think you have to set your expectations accordingly as well.I think you've left it a bit late in the day myself all my friends had teenagers by the time they were your age.

EleanorOalike · 08/04/2019 21:36

@Boysey45 no one I went to school with had a child before 29. Most only had their first between 30 and 35. Lots of the men are leaving it to their 40s. My own grandparents didn’t have their first until their late 20s and went on to have loads of kids.

You don’t know the OPs circumstances. For example, I’m a just turned 35 year old woman who always wanted children but at 31 my ex finally admitted that he never saw himself as a father and whilst he’d consider marriage with me he never wanted children. So I was left to start all over in my 30s despite having been ready for children for many years. I couldn’t start a family before then because I was a carer for a family member until I was 29.

It’s quite unkind to suggest that OP has left it too late and should have teenaged children by now. It’s hardly abnormal for a person to not want children in their teens or early 20s.

He hasn’t left it too late. Lots of women on here have a friend who would be interested in a man of this age and I personally would be too. I think he will have loads of opportunities.

My parents were in their very late 30s when I was born and they were much better parents to me than to my sibling who was born 20 years before me. I’d be a better Mum now than I would have been between 16 and 22. I have more skills with children now, maturity, a good flexible job, a home of my own and financial and emotional stability much more than I did in my teens or early 20s. I didn’t want to leave it this late but I’d personally rather have a baby at 38 than 18.

OP, you don’t have to lower your expectations. There are plenty of attractive, intelligent women in their 30s, with or without children who are looking for someone of your age and outlook to settle down with.

donajimena · 08/04/2019 21:40

boysey he might not have left it too late. Sometimes life doesn't work out as one plans

Boysey45 · 08/04/2019 21:59

Yes but think about it, its not like at 36 he has been with his partner for years and he then has a child is it? He will have to meet someone and show to her that he wants her as a partner not just to give him kids. No woman would want that unless she was being paid as a surrogate. Getting to know someone properly takes time.
I accept people have different opinions but I think hes knocking on a bit now for a baby starting from absolute scratch with someone.

Bubblegumgal · 08/04/2019 22:06

@boysey45 you’re being a bit dramatic. He’s 36 not 56! Loads of women in their early 30s are single without kids and plenty more who are single with kids looking to settle down and have some more.

EleanorOalike · 08/04/2019 22:18

Boysey - Two or three years is plenty of time to get to know someone and still gives him plenty of time for kids. I wouldn’t automatically think that a 36 year old man only wanted me for my womb lol and I’d hope I’m not seen as a sperm robber. I want kids but have solid plans to go it alone through adoption if I don’t meet someone I really want to be with. I’m certainly not just looking for a father for my children, if I was I could have easily been married and pregnant by now but in a miserable relationship with someone I didn’t like. You can be in your 30s, hoping for kids and have standards. The OP hasn’t given the impression that he wants just anyone. Only that he wants a relationship and children eventually.

RottnestFerry · 08/04/2019 22:51

My question is do you think my age would put someone off wanting to date me?

No, not necessarily. I was older than you when I met my wife. She was in her 20s (with no children).

Original poster

Thatkindaguy · 09/04/2019 00:55

Thanks all some really good replies here. I look at people like Meghan Markle who met the price just short of her 36th birthday.

Looking on the dating sites it looks like there are a lot of people similar age to me 34, 35, 36 and still single, looking and wanting children.

OP posts:

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