Crush on school dad

[ThisIsASecret101]

I've been married 10 years. 2 DC. Had a rough patch the last 8 months including marriage counselling. It worked for a bit but we've fallen back into bad habits.

Lately I've been chatting to a dad at the school gate and I've got a bit of a crush on him. He's married with 2 DC too. Obviously I'm not going to do anything about it but it's clearly symptomatic of something that's not right. I'd like the clear thinking of MN to talk me through it.

You sound really up yourself op. Good chances are he's only being friendly and wouldn't give you a second thought when your not in front of him, making a fool of yourself and your family. Hopefully him and his wife are having a good laugh behind your back.
Glad I don't live in your town, sounds really awful and judgy, with you right up at the top.

If you want to save your marriage disengage with school dad.

If you can't then end your marriage before you cheat

You sound really up yourself op............... ..sounds really awful and judgy, with you right up at the top

Posted without a hint of irony, no doubt!

Enjoy your crush, OP, and hopefully it's the catalyst to help move your marriage on, one way or another.

I've been a parent for 16 years and seen lots of different parenting styles. She's probably like many mums, super dedicated at home or doing stuff with them, but when in an environment with other children, she can let them loose whilst wmshe catches a muh needed break or she could be working or catching up on paying the Bill's etc. And so many lovely mums are too lenient on their kids but that's their parenting style.

And that has nothing to do with you having a crush. That sometimes happens especially when your relationship is a bit boring or you're having some issues. My suggestion is to start dating your husband again. Get some childcare and go and do some fun stuff together regularly.

Is he interested in you too? Is this a crush or is an affair brewing?

I think the OP is getting a hard time here.

She hasn't said anything to suggest anything appropriate is happening with this man. She's admitted she has a crush, she obviously doesn't want to feel this way, hence she's come to MN to perhaps help analyse why she feels this way and even to disengage her feelings about this man.

I've fancied people before OP. It's when my relationship hasn't been great.

I think you need to stop this crush prioritising your thoughts and instead you need to consider why you want to stay in a relationship with your DH. Do you want to talk to us about your relationship? That could be a good start.

anything inappropriate

I think you need to stop this crush prioritising your thoughts and instead you need to consider why you want to stay in a relationship with your DH. Do you want to talk to us about your relationship? That could be a good start.

Thank you. Yes with previous crushes I've always been sure my relationship with DH has been good and it's a passing attraction. The last one was because of close proximity on a regular basis with someone very attractive but I stopped socialising with him though DH didn't. This one has come at a time when our relationship is already in trouble hence the counselling.

DH still relies on me for everything and I'm sick of being his mother. The crush seems so much more independent. It's not sexy being in a relationship with someone who is so dependent on me doing all the thinking. For example running the household (we both work). If something breaks it's always up to me to get stuff fixed. He has a friend who is a specialist in something that has broken so I asked him to ask his friend. He asked me to take the photos of how it's broken for him to send to his friend. So I did. Then he left messenger open for me to answer a question then he told me his friend's response but I questioned if he'd given him all the details e.g. Where it was broken and he said 'I didn't know it was broken there'. But how come I did?? I've got eyes just like him but he left it up to me to provide all the details and check the responses. It's tiresome and I'm fed up.

It’s just a crush though. You wouldn’t actually have an affair so why are you thinking about him? Might it be because it’s more pleasant than thinking about your DH. Sometimes people in relationships indulge these kinds of thoughts because it helps them distract themselves from the problems in their relationship.

Yes I can see that in my case.

I think there's nothing wrong with having a flirt with a school dad. I do that - but in a light hearted way. I'm divorced so it's different - but we are all human and like to feel attractive and fun.

You have allowed your DH to be dependent on you. Why have you enabled him?

You have allowed your DH to be dependent on you. Why have you enabled him?

And yet I try to leave him to it and he screws up. Possibly because I'm a perfectionist and he is a 'job done' kind of person. I agree my solutions lie in not enabling him in future.

Hi op , I'm in a similar situation so no judgement from me, neither of us are married though.

Bluntly speaking, has this man shown any signs that he's interested in you? Sometimes with a crush it is hard to separate from what is happening to what we actually want to happen if that makes sense? In the past I've been guilty of seeing things differently or not reading the signs at all. I've a tough one.
My crush makes the school run much more pleasant.