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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

how to let my inhibitions go...by tomorrow

42 replies

allinmyhead12 · 05/04/2019 14:23

my DH and i are having a weekend away ( wink wink), i'm not confident when it comes to bedroom activities although that doesn't mean that we have a naff sex life. I asked him what he would like me to do for him and he asked me to strip for him.
May sound easy to some of you but not for me, how to i get over it and do it, i'm already feeling anxious about it and how do i start should i play music or what
i have no clue and feel like i'm going to look stupid

OP posts:
Vitalogy · 05/04/2019 14:37

If it doesn't feel natural and right I wouldn't do it. Although to put you at your ease husband could do one for you first Smile

bagpiss · 05/04/2019 14:38

If it were me, I'd pick a track off Goldfrapps, Black Cherry album, maybe Twist or Strict Machine but there's a few good one's on there for dancing and stripping i reckon. Maybe a glass of wine or two first if you drink to help relax. Sexy eye contact is good too apparently, It'll only be about 2-3 mins anyway, if you get to finish, 😉. Have a practice around the house if you're alone. Hopefully you'll get some more advice soon too. But have fun with it.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 05/04/2019 14:39

if it makes you anxious and uncomfortable, then don't do it

InsertFunnyUsername · 05/04/2019 14:40

Of course if you are comfortable doing it and it's just nerves you want help with, id go with alcohol. Doesn't have to be a lot, just enough to take the edge off! Good luck!

Brandy makes me Randy

InsertFunnyUsername · 05/04/2019 14:43

I would set up a playlist and the 3rd or 4th song have my "sexy" one, So once you put the music on you can lay next to each other, pour you both a drink knowing the next song you can start gradually sitting up/standing up.

Original poster
allinmyhead12 · 05/04/2019 14:53

its not that i dont want to i would love to be more confident with stuff like that, i have always hated the all eyes on me feeling lol....my leg was shaking at our wedding as i knew everyone was listening to my vows etc!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
SouthernComforts · 05/04/2019 14:59

Don't do it if you don't want to!

I'm very confident in my sex life and have no issues with being naked but I would hate doing this, I'd feel very self conscious doing that, unless it happened naturally i.e not asked for.

PinaColadaPlease · 05/04/2019 15:02

Alcohol!! As long as you want to do it of course.

Moralitym1n1 · 05/04/2019 15:02

Strip poker and make him do it too!

Fair's fair.

Original poster
allinmyhead12 · 05/04/2019 15:06

he has no inhibitions AT ALL LOL, even getting ready for bed on a normal day can result in a little show for me!!!!
its just confidence i think and i spend half my life worrying about what people think even him, stupid thoughts of not wanting him to leave me cos im a crap stripper enter my head ( you would think that at 38 i would have gotten over myself by now but obviously not!)

OP posts:
Moralitym1n1 · 05/04/2019 15:08

Alternatively check out YouTube - there are various Inc. 'how to dance sexy for your man' and lots of how to's online.

Personally I think this is very difficult if you're not that way inclined so I'd go for the strip poker thing.

extremehydration · 05/04/2019 15:09

This might help, OP. Glass of wine before you get started. Practice alone before the big event.

thestir.cafemom.com/love/173499/14_steps_to_doing_a

Remember to have fun! Let's face it - so long as you end up naked at the end of it, your DH will be thrilled, I'm sure Wink

Moralitym1n1 · 05/04/2019 15:12

Grin that reminds me of that jokey thing circulating about the difference between men and women taking a shower - and the part where the man walks across the room rubbing sawing a towel between his legs and then flashes/jiggles his partner while saying woohoo.

Anyway it's a difficult thing to become confident at in a shirt time without lessons I think. But there are lots of online resources.

Moralitym1n1 · 05/04/2019 15:19

(Also you don't have to strip to music if you're not into dancing - you can do a strip without music.)

If you do use music, just use the first few mins (unless it's a v short song) and then move to foreplay - even professionals have trouble maintaining novelty/not becoming repetitive for the length of an average or long song.

Cosmoplease · 05/04/2019 15:19

Hmm it's a tricky one, because if you're really uncomfortable about doing it, then my initial reaction would be don't do it!

However, you did ask what he would like and this isn't anything weird (imo anyway)

I'd be happy to, but then I love dancing. You just need to find something with the right balance of dance and sexy. A bit cliché, but perhaps something like Beyonce- Naughty Girl or similar. That kind of vibe anyway.

If you drink, definitely that, but not too much (you don't want to end up falling over Grin ) and try and make sure you're in the mood before you start. Think sexy thoughts Wink Grin

Original poster
allinmyhead12 · 05/04/2019 15:25

well i have looked at the link from extreme and it said practice....LOL....i cant even bring myself to do that..............so far i think alcohol is the route im taking and hope for the best.............or get him to drink loads so he falls asleep and i can tell him he missed it !!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
CharbaLabaDingDong · 05/04/2019 15:33

If you don't feel comfortable then don't do it.

Anything like that needs to be spontaneous, not planned.

My partner and I are quite adventurous and uninhibited, but if we ever plan bedroom activities it's never as good as when we're spontaneous.

We obviously talk about things we'd like to do with/to each other but we don't then plan when that will happen.

If you do decide to go ahead with it, try not to overthink it (easier said than done, I know!), set the mood beforehand, dim the lights, good music, have a glass of wine. Don't just stand up and start taking your clothes off, get him in the mood, tease him. I can pretty much guarantee he will love it.

frenchonion · 05/04/2019 15:35

I'd go shirt. You can wiggle your trousers off, spin around slowly with a flash of bum with nice knickers, then spend next minute or so slowly unbottoning so not too much cringy dancing! Maybe a lean forward boob flash. Voila, naked, get your freak on. Only if you're up for it though.

frenchonion · 05/04/2019 15:36

Also WINE!

extremehydration · 05/04/2019 15:37

..or get him to drink loads so he falls asleep and i can tell him he missed it !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grin

If this is something you would like to do, give yourself the time to explore the idea over the coming months. Don't push it for this weekend, as it sounds like you are not ready. You don't want to get upset and ruin your weekend. Maybe one day you will feel up for it. Just file away the idea for a while.

BertieBotts · 05/04/2019 16:19

Just get yourself into a state where you can laugh about it? I like the idea of strip poker (or strip whatever silly game you like) so it's not all the attention on you as a performance thing.

He's not going to be horrible if it isn't for you (if he would be, defo don't do it) so just try and have fun with the idea, it doesn't need to be a super serious amazingly sexual performance. IME the best way to get over feeling embarrassed and silly is to make it silly and OTT.

Sagradafamiliar · 05/04/2019 16:25

Just strip off. The thought of paying music and doing an actual stripper-style striptease is so cringey. Don't do that for the love of God

juneau · 05/04/2019 16:26

Alcohol - in instances where confidence is needed and there's no time to practice - a couple of glasses of champagne is ideal!

PolytheneSam · 06/04/2019 09:27

It doesn't have to be a performance.

Try to wear something you'd normally wear during the week but with sexy lingerie underneath.

And finally ask him what he'd like you to reveal, I think this would take some of the stress away. Good luck

HappyLife21 · 06/04/2019 13:35

Alcohol or cocaine.