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Original poster

how to let my inhibitions go...by tomorrow

42 replies

allinmyhead12 · 05/04/2019 14:23

my DH and i are having a weekend away ( wink wink), i'm not confident when it comes to bedroom activities although that doesn't mean that we have a naff sex life. I asked him what he would like me to do for him and he asked me to strip for him.
May sound easy to some of you but not for me, how to i get over it and do it, i'm already feeling anxious about it and how do i start should i play music or what
i have no clue and feel like i'm going to look stupid

OP posts:

Moralitym1n1 · 06/04/2019 13:40

Alcohol or cocaine.

What could possibly go wrong with introducing cocaine into your life.

Thisnamechanger · 06/04/2019 13:41

Wine. And Hell is Round the Corner by Tricky.

I've done this a few times and DP loved it. DP once did one for me and I nearly ruptured something trying not to laugh.

Morgan12 · 06/04/2019 13:57

Cocaine 😂😂😂😂😂

Suppose it would give you the confidence though.

BertrandRussell · 06/04/2019 14:00

Does he know you find this sort of thing difficult, OP? Because if he does, it’s a bit dickish to ask you to, surely?

user1481840227 · 06/04/2019 14:08

May be too late now but my best tip would be to go into your bedroom and look at yourself in the mirror and try to imagine yourself from his eyes, just look at your body and try to move sexily!

And something really important I think to remember is that men LOVE womens bodies, it's evolution lol.
What we often find unattractive they are obsessed with lol.

Another tip for building body confidence is burlesque classes. I never in a million years would have thought I would have liked them but i'm obsessed. There are very modern styles these days or a mixture of different styles, normally the studios will have very dim lights too, but they are amazing for building body confidence and learning how to move. No one really pays that much attention to other people because they are focusing so much on themselves, but you do get to glimpse a wide range of different shape and sizes and how they move and it gives such an appreciation for the female form.....you will notice that you can see something sexy about everyone there and it helps you to see that there is also a lot of sexy stuff about you too, you just don't notice when you're stuck in your head feeling like you look awkward!

Babdoc · 06/04/2019 14:09

I think this is something that should be done spontaneously and joyfully or not at all. The more you think about it, dread it and feel inhibited and embarrassed about it, the more likely it is to be an ordeal and make you feel utterly miserable and unsexy performing it.
Plenty of women wouldn’t do this, OP, and would regard it as demeaning. If it’s not your thing, then just refuse. There are many other ways you and DH can have fun together, which you might be more comfortable with. How about getting him to put on a performance for you instead? Why should you be the one to indulge him all the time?

user1481840227 · 06/04/2019 14:20

BertandRussell, It could be considered dickish depending on the context, the relationship between them and all that, but the OP said that it's not that she doesn't want to do it and that she'd love to be more confident with stuff like that. She said she spends half her life worrying what people think. It is so freeing when you manage to lose some inhibitions. Many forms of therapy these days would involve pushing you out of your comfort zone to see that it's not nearly as bad as you think!

Also many men see their (insecure) wives as sexy as hell and wish so much that they could see it themselves and have confidence, so for some (again, depending on the couples relationship) they may just want to give them a push towards seeing how sexy they can be.

No one obviously should have to do it, or have a huge amount of pressure put on them if they are clear about how much they don't want to do it, but it doesn't sound like that's what's going on here!

BertrandRussell · 06/04/2019 14:52

Ah yes, good old empowering burlesque. Stripping with A levels.

OP- if you don’t want to strip for your dp, then don’t. Someone suggested strip poker-that night. E fun. Or a bath together, or dancing, turning each other on as you do. But if you don’t want to perform for him while he watches, then don’t. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to do rhis Being assertive is good for the self confidence too. And self confidence is sexy! Unlike trying to make someone do something they don’t want to do. That’s not sexy at all.

user1481840227 · 06/04/2019 14:55

Most people who do burlesque aren't performers and are just doing it for themselves. Not that there is anything wrong with performing, but you can't knock it until you tried it! HELL YES IT'S EMPOWERING!

HeddaGarbled · 06/04/2019 15:00

Inhibitions are good - they stop us doing stupid things.

KelvinHelmholtz · 06/04/2019 15:16

It has to come from your desires. I would approach it with playfulness, as you say you've never done it. It might turn out to be not your thing. Just have fun, don't take the whole thing too seriously. Just get some lingerie that flatters you, something over the top. Feathers or something to make it less about you.

The whole performance thing is fine - if that's your style. It doesn't have to be.

Pa1oma · 06/04/2019 15:24

OP, put it this way, “stripping” for most men is not about the dancing . He won’t be looking out for any particular moves or any amazing, extended performance - he just wants to look at you. Do you feel comfortable in lingerie? You could probably just stand there and take it off and that will be enough. Don’t overthink it because he won’t be.

user1481840227 · 06/04/2019 15:25

HeddaGarbled, we all need some but it sounds like the OP's rule her life!

I'm not married, but the OP described how she hated the all eyes on her feeling even at her wedding, I always said i'd never invite anyone to my wedding for that reason. I hated doing anything in front of anyone else, like anything at all where people were watching me, little things like playing pool, talking in a group etc. It is life limiting, doesn't just stop you doing stupid things, it stops you doing lots of things! Things that enhance your life or just let you enjoy it freely.

Original poster

allinmyhead12 · 08/04/2019 08:33

so as an update........i didn't do it....we did however still have a very good time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he didn't push the point or anything as he wouldn't. Maybe one day when he is not expecting it so a bit less pressure on me he may get his wish.
Maybe i will wait until we are old and wrinkly and he cant see much LOL

OP posts:

countchuckula · 08/04/2019 09:47

So glad you two had a great weekend!

Maybe i will wait until we are old and wrinkly and he cant see much LOL

Love it!!!

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 08/04/2019 10:04

I see I am late to the party, as it were, but would have suggested a good deal of wafting about as you just get undressed, so no dancing, make sure you have the right clothes on for your desired effect

nice undies, hold ups, fancy shoes, easily removable dress, or skirt and button through shirt/blouse, remove slowly and parade (or waft) about the room in a casual manner in between whiles.

there's not so much sexy in hauling off a polo neck and skinny jeans ;)

Thisnamechanger · 08/04/2019 15:16

there's not so much sexy in hauling off a polo neck and skinny jeans
especially if you fall into a wardrobe not about me obvs

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