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Original poster

Is he bragging or lying?

28 replies

zunshine · 03/04/2019 12:01

I've been talking to this new guy for a few days now, we've arranged to meet up next week. He's mentioned having a house in spain, quite randomly too, I'm not sure whether to believe him or not I didn't pay much attention to it just replied with "oh that's nice". Then asked how often I go on holiday, I said I haven't been in years and then talked about how he's going to California this summer. It seems really odd to tell me, I'm finding it hard to believe but apart from that we've been getting on well

OP posts:
Original poster
zunshine · 03/04/2019 12:05

Just wanted to add I know no one will be able to tell me if he is but is it wrong to not believe him and feel really put off by it? He could be telling the truth but that seems unlikely

OP posts:
Sculpin · 03/04/2019 12:07

Well it could be true, eg he could have inherited the house or something like that. How old is he?

2rachtint · 03/04/2019 12:08

I had a place abroad before the UK as it was cheaper. Not necessarily lying! Holidays are quite a usual conversation topic too.

combatbarbie · 03/04/2019 12:08

If he's just mentioned it in conversation then why do you think he's lying? Lots of people have houses in Spain, my Dhs mum lives out there and will inherit it one day.

California is also a really nice holiday destination??

Robin2323 · 03/04/2019 12:10

Just take your time I get to know him.

10 years ago I didn't know anyone who'd been to California. Now I have 2 friends who've been.

So it'd quite plausible.

Some men can go s big OTT trying to impress.
Maybe just bit nervous.

HellAndDegenerates · 03/04/2019 12:10

There's no way if knowing but if he's a new contact on inline dating etc he could be trying to impress you, some men think wealth and money impress women, some women are impressed by it, so depends how you want to feel about it.

Ignore it or believe him or believe he's only telling you because he thinks you're the sort to be impressed by it.

Original poster
zunshine · 03/04/2019 12:11

I suppose it's just the way he brought it up out of no where, I know it could be true. But I feel a little embarrassed knowing it could be true and I can't even afford a holiday within the UK

OP posts:
HellAndDegenerates · 03/04/2019 12:12

Out of the blue, you can't afford holidays...

Sounds like he's trying to impress you with his wallet.

Has he suggested a posh date that costs £££ he knows you can't afford?

doctorsbag · 03/04/2019 12:13

You can get to California for under £300 so he could have done it, but I know what you mean if he’s just casually dropping this stuff into conversation.

What does he do for a job?

BlueMerchant · 03/04/2019 12:16

He's either a bragger or a liar.
I wouldn't be impressed.

pissedonatrain · 03/04/2019 12:56

Probably a bit of both.

Musti · 03/04/2019 13:40

I wouldn't want someone who thinks he has to impress with his possessions. It doesn't bode well. My ex is similar and he is insecure, controlling and sexist.

NWQM · 03/04/2019 13:48

If the relationship is that new isn't he just making conversation? Homes, jobs and even holidays are pretty common conversations.

When you say randomly does that mean though that he dominated the conversation or was the conversation stilted so he was plucking things out the air to talk about? Both could be just because of your mutual nerves or could be signs that the 'spark' isn't there.

Give him the benefit of the doubt for one date but if you are only seeing negatives maybe it just isn't to be:

girlwithadragontattoo · 03/04/2019 14:15

It sounds like he's trying to have a conversation with you but is very clumsy at starting it. He's telling you about something that's interesting to him and using it as a talking point. That's my take on it anyway.
Also, anyone can save and go to America, I'm 33 and used to go annually for about 6 years funded by my own pocket

morewashingtodooo · 03/04/2019 14:24

It sounds like he's asking you questions to talk about himself.
Example- do you swim? Because I was in professional swim until I was 18.

MaiaRindell · 03/04/2019 14:45

My friend saw someone on Tinder who mentioned that he owned his home "HOME OWNER WITH NO MORTGAGE" and had a "VERY RARE OCTAVE RANGE - BIGGER THAN ED SHEERAN" on his bio so mentioning holidays seems mild by comparison!

pudding21 · 03/04/2019 15:21

How old is he? Could it be his parents holiday home in Spain? That would explain why he hasn't been for a while!

I wouldnt be that alarmed, just that he is making conversation, I suppose if and when you do meet you will be able to get the measure of him better! Have you spoen on the phone at all?

NWQM · 03/04/2019 15:25

Bragging a little at first isn't necessarily a bad thing is it anyway? He's meant to want to impress you. I went out with lots of men who were extremely good at chatting you up but also every other woman. I am married to the one who was totally rubbish at it!

BlingLoving · 03/04/2019 15:29

Surely talking about holidays is standard chit chat? I mean, I've yet to go to a hairdresser who didn't ask me at some point, "so going anywhere nice this year?" Grin. I think you're over thinking it a bit. it might well be that travel and holidays are important to him and he's trying to see if you feel the same way.

Rather than just ignoring his comments, why don't you try engaging to get a better sense? If someone mentioned to me they had a house in Spain I'd be interested in how often they go, where in Spain, why they like it, do they prefer going back to the same place etc? As I love spain myself, it would probably open a whole conversation and I would be interested in knowing if the person likes the same places as I do.

Ditto, a trip to California is a fairly big deal. if someone told me that I'd be interested in knowing if they were going alone/with friends/with family and what they'd plan to do. I have always wanted to hire a car and do the Pacific coast in some fancy convertible, and DH and I are hoping to do it with the kids when they're teenagers maybe. So that would be a great conversation opener for me.

RikoBitch · 03/04/2019 15:34

I agree that holidays and work are very common conversation topics. I've certainly spoken about holidays with many men on Tinder (and similar). Maybe you are just sensitive because you have not been in holidays for a long time, but I would not say this is a red flag.

Give him a chance!

DollyDan · 03/04/2019 15:38

Reading that made me go cold, met my ex online told me immediately he had a house in Spain (was mainly his dads) and his brother lived in California and had just visited.... if you are in Surrey pm me

Huskylover1 · 03/04/2019 16:16

Eh? I don't get why you think he's lying?

I've been to California : I toured the whole West Coast, funded entirely by myself, at age 23.

I also toured the whole East Coast, at 25.

DH's dad has a villa in Spain, it's not uncommon.

I would not have batted an eyelid at this. Sounds fairly normal.

Bluntness100 · 03/04/2019 16:22

I have no idea why you think it's odd to tell someone you're going on holiday or that you havw a holiday home. It's hardly shameful, and something that should be hidden, and neither is exactly uncommon.Confused

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 03/04/2019 16:27

This is hilarious. You have no reason on earth to think hes either lying or bragging. Holidays are a totally normal topic of conversation. Actually, they help filter people. Seeing the world and having adventures is important to me - and I want to meet someone with a similar outlook. Talking about holidays is a good way of finding out what excites people. It sounds like you just have a chip on your shoulder, OP, because you havent been going on holiday. Which is probably a red flag for him, actually...

Bluntness100 · 03/04/2019 18:50

Op, it really is one of the odder things people have posted on here.

Normal conversations are:

Are you going on holiday anywhere, I'm off to California.
Oh that sounds wonderful I've never been. Is it your first time? I've nothing planned sigh.

I own a home in Spain
That must be fantastic, how often do you get out there. What made you buy there, how do you manage it remotely, is it rented out?

Etc etc

Not, oh he must be lying and it's odd to tell me and I feel embarassed I can't afford these things,

It's not a competition. Going on holiday is the norm for many people. Having a holiday or second home is too, it could be an inheritance, an investment, for work, for family reasons, previously living there, whatever.

Is there a reason you think he's lying and it's highly unlikely?