I get abusive text messages like this all weekend from my ex. Not sure what to do.

[Nobodyelsewillbethere]

Just that really. We were together 3 years. Broke up 5 months ago. I ended it because he was addicted to weed and coke, neglected my dd's tortoise until it died, borrowed thousands off me and treated me like absolute shit. He didn't even respond for a few weeks when I finished it. The 'shit things that happened' to me that he is referring to, are getting my bones broken by my ex husband and raped as an 11 year old.

Awful timing but I met someone 6 weeks after we finished, I wasn't looking at all. I had a 3 year plan to be single. Believe me I have tried to fight it but he makes me really happy. It's a new feeling to trust and feel safe with someone. We are taking it VERY slowly, only see each other once a week and I am constantly checking for red flags and there hadn't even been one slight moment. My ex found out a month ago and the abusive messages started at that point.

I block his number every time but he just sends me the abuse from a new number. Any idea what I can do? Reading these messages is like torture to me as I already dislike myself and I wish I could say I don't listen to my ex or internalise the things he is saying but I do. It's got to the point where I'm thinking I should just end my new relationship so my ex backs off?

Well there you go, people dont just guess numbers, I doubt ops friends or family will be giving her number out if she tells them not to, otherwise dont give it to people you cant trust. All quite simple really.

I doubt ops friends or family will be giving her number out if she tells them not to,

Do you know them?

The ones who claim to be 'new men' or feminists are the worst of all!!

Change your number and dont give it to anyone he's remotely friendly with. Screenshot and save the old messages and if he approaches you in person call the police.

Agree with pp, get a new number and contact the police to report as its highly likely he'll continue to be abusive via media like facebook once he realises he cant reach you by phone.

You say you're taking it slow with the new guy, have your DC met him? Some time to build yourself back up again before a new relationship wouldn't be a bad thing.

If you have an android phone, you can stop calls from numbers not in your contacts getting through. They go straight to answer phone. I had the same problem with someone I had been in a relationship with, I went to the police & within 3 days he had been issued with a harassment notice, that meant if he contacted me again he would be arrested.

Just to say if you are holding the new man at arms length and telling him you're not ready, if he's not taking no for an answer or pushing the pace that is one massive red flag.
Abusive men can smell vulnerability a mile away. He could well be another one. Is it worth the risk? When you are still dealing with the last abusive arsehole?
You need time on your own.

OP I sent you a PM.

It is important to report him to the police, ask them to go round and to save all messages with message details as PP said. If he's stupid enough to continue both reporting him to the police and saving the messages will help you take effective legal action against him.

I was harassed by my ex like too too, he managed to backdoor hack into my partners phone too and was sending me screenshots of his innocent activity saying it's only a matter of time before he cheats then I will have proof and I will be back with my family, turned up to my home when our kids were in bed threatening suicide if I told him to leave, had a passenger seat full of ibuprofen etc.

Police called him and gave him a warning that if it continued he'd be arrested and questioned under caution. It did continue, and because I dared beg him to leave me alone once police decided that CPS would see it as a domestic incident rather than harassment. My number is now changed as above, network did it for free with a crime ref number. All of this was before during and after my dad was dying/died and like you OP I didnt even think to change my number, thought blocking would be enough.

Do not reply, even to say leave me alone. Change your number asap and if he is still getting around that then the police are more likely to take it much more seriously.

I'm another one asking why you can't stay single for a while?

You have (at least) two abusive exes (is one of them your DD's father? Do you have to keep in touch with him because of that?) Don't you think your DD deserves to live in peace for a while, with your care and attention focused on her rather than some bloke? And yet only six weeks after breaking up with your last bloke, you've hooked up with another one.

Surely it's time to put the wellbeing of you and your DD first for a sustained period of time?

@Bobbycat121 - every thing you post is a rounabout way of victim blaming. This woman is being abused and harassed. That is now criminal behaviour (Well at least in scotland) . She should be able to give her number to who ever she wants to , even complete strangers, without being abused. The blame for this us 100% the person dishing out the abuse. Telling OP to change her behaviours to prevent this sort of abuse is akin to telling women not to dress In a certain way or drink to much to avoid getting raped. How about we actually put the emphasis on the abusers' behaviours instead? This man is determined to abuse OP and I suspect he would find another way even if she had no phone at all. Thinking OP can "just" change her number/ say thank you (or whatever daft advice that was) or not respond reveals a person who has no understanding whatsoever of DV.

OP I am sorry you are going through this. I too would suggest police advice and also DV support groups.

I agree that getting advice from police/bill is a great starting point. Def don't start with texting back to leave you alone. Get advice, be informed correctly and take it from there

If she goes to the police they will be telling her to change her number aswell. She hasnt even tried to change it to see if that stops it, its not victim blaming to say change your number.

I do put the wellbeing of my DD first. It is upsetting that I came on here asking for advice re getting abused and have my parenting, my intelligence and my morals questioned. I have been abused three times, by three different men. There seems to be a subtext that it is somehow my fault and my responsibility to work out why I attract abusive men.

I have had trauma counselling for PTSD, done the freedom project, had an ISVA for two years and done an MSc in psychology. I have worked my psyche and my boundaries to death. I saw the new guy once a week on a Saturday night whilst DD as with her dad. It was the only night of the week where I felt okay and a bit of joy or happiness, and freedom. Shoot me for enjoying that after a shit few years. He wasn't pushing anything, he didn't have any red flags. Me seeing him did not have any impact on my DD and she didn't meet him and I had no plans to introduce them.

However, whilst I am still being harassed, verbally abused and stalked I agree, I don't need another relationship so I have had to end it. Which I am upset about because I think it had a future but my past has once again dictated the terms.

All three of my abusers from my older teenage cousin who raped me, to my physically abusive ex husband to my coke head ex have all said the same thing 'There's something about you that has made us do this. It's your fault'. I'm afraid, rightly or wrongly (I'm probably in the defensive because I feel attacked) this thread has compounded that. Thanks to all those who gave me practical advice. I'm a real person and this is my life, I'm not going to read the thread anymore as it's just causing more upset when I'm already at the end of my rope.

That's a coke rant call the police.

The police told me to keep my phone number when I spoke to them about my ex harassing me. They want as much evidence as possible. They also said I shouldn't have to 're arrange my life because he is being a dick