Red flags/controlling behaviour?

[orangejuiced]

I'm a single parent, been dating a divorced man about six months. Not sure whether he's starting to show some controlling behaviour, or whether I'm overthinking. Examples:

1. He says something to bother me, like 'oh you always lay there while I do all the work' (sex, not true) I reply 'no I dont' he replies 'joking, don't take things so seriously' . Another day he says 'oh you don't work as many hours as me, slacker' I reply indignantly 'yes I do, my hours are flexed', he replies 'oh I'm joking!you need to take a joke'. I find his 'jokes' undermining and quite rude.

2. I ask to watch something on TV, he ignores and puts something else on. Or he flicks to what I want to watch and then says it's no good and changes the channel

I don't feel like these are the signs of a considerate man? Or am I overthinking and should give him more time?

Ah! Flashbacks. 😱
Yeah, he's a bunting factory.

Jokes are supposed to be funny not make someone feel shit.
Ltb.

God no, you aren’t overthinking, get rid of him.

His “jokes” are not funny.

Answer: You are not overthinking. He is an arse. Empirical fact.

Ew, all sounds bad but criticising you in bed is just disgusting. All wrapped up and disguised as a 'joke' too to make it look like you're the one starting an argument. Classic red flag behaviour!

Run for the hills!!

You're not overthinking. Run for the hills.

In the words of Iron Maiden

'RUN TO THE HILLS.......'

You have to ask to watch something on tv and he either ignores you or says it's rubbish and switches over to something else?

Oh dear.

And telling you you need to take a joke?

Oh dear again.

Thanks. I like jokes and banter but I feel like his 'humour" is designed to get a behaviour or reaction from me. Not letting me choose what to watch just tells me who is boss, telling me I just laid there in bed is telling me to do as he wants in bed .

He can also be quite annoying waking me up to have sex or expecting me to do it half asleep. I don't think he's a keeper

That’s not ‘jokes’ it’s passive aggressive digs he’s not brave enough to own

"He can also be quite annoying waking me up to have sex or expecting me to do it half asleep"

No no no OP! This isn't right.

Run to the hills ... and then run some more!

He says something to bother me, like 'oh you always lay there while I do all the work' (sex, not true) I reply 'no I dont' he replies 'joking, don't take things so seriously'

this statement alone tells me he's a Prick.. kick him to the kerb

you don't live with him so it's much easier to leave him. try to completely ignore his jokes. just stare at the window and go hmmmm.

No no, he's not a keeper. He's a get-ridder!

These types can't take any actual, lighthearted banter you attempt with them, but will defend, to the ends of the earth, their right to their own vicious, cutting "banter".

Then call YOU humourless if you object.

Bin and block.

Absolutely trust your instincts on this one!
Huge classic red flags, and only after 6 months these exact examples didnt start in my relationship until at least 2 years down the line. Walk away!

Oh just bin him off. He sounds like a right wanker.

He sounds a real prize.
Run.

Can't think why he's divorced 🤔

Run, he sounds like a bell end

Ooh god bin and block, it will only get worse

I can’t stand it when someone says something nasty and then pretends it was a joke. Is he a 14yo boy winding up his mate?

Get rid. Waking you up for sex? Yuk

Dump him super quick. I bet if you raise it he will say you are too sensitive.

You feel undermined, believe that it is deliberate and trust yourself. I wish these guys had labels on their heads,!

You Could be talking about my ex, he’d do all of those things.

Run away!

My goodness, my very first LTB. Waste no more of your precious time, OP.