Unplanned pregnancy his reaction

[Pregnantbitscared88]

Hi all me and bf have been together forever 10 months both have one child each from previous relationships.

Found out in pregnant shocked to say least and unsure of bfs reaction

I had told him period was late and I was worried. He was worried working yday when I Did test so obv didn’t wanna ringband say over the phone. When he got home from work he went on and on about it but my DD was there so I didn’t want to say. When I did tell him he was shocked it took him 20 mins to hug me he didn’t reassure me things would be ok.

Our living situation is complicated he lives with his brother and they own the house together I rent a tiny two bed. He said I would have to get a bigger house and I said oh so your moving in with me and he said well I’d like to but I have to see what my brother wants to do....I told him that he shouldnt have to worry about his 50 yr old brother.

Then he said I’m still going to ** (which is a week long lads holiday in June which is gonna cost him £1000s) I was annoyed at this because why is that one of the only things you’d worry about.

He then said that I need to stop making this all about me that he matters too. I told him that unlike lads holidays I’ve one child already and another hopefully that I have to worry about and make sure they have a nice comfortable home and it didn’t seem that was something he was concerned about. Then he start shouting how I was wrong and if that what’s I think of him we should break up....

Then when I said I was tired he started laughing saying you’re so dramatic you’ll be the most annoying pregnant person

His reaction has made me uneasy or am I just being a hormonal mess

(The only nice thing he said was well this was always out plan it’s just happened a bit sooner)

Wise decision OP
He does not want to commit or give up his single lifestyle but wants you on hand to bring up his DC and be on call for a shag when he decides to visit.
You are much better and deserve much better than that.
You and your DC's will be fine
Congratulations on your pregnancy

@lovinglifexo no I didn’t I was on the pill I have spent days baffled and googling every reason why this could have Happened. I already know people are gonna think I done this deliberately I know I’m gonna be judged but I’m trying to deal with what I’ve already got on my late than worrying about peoples judgements too

I think he thought he could not
Move in and till spend 80% of time there was his way of saying he’d live there but not pay to live there. Sounds like youd be better off wothout him.

How often does he have his existing child?

The impact of having a baby will always be more for a woman. There's no escaping that.

You have a good job, so brace
yourself to be a single mum of 2.

Has his DC eow

It sounds like you've made a realistic decision. I wish you and your family all the best xx

Just to clarify it wasn’t the lads holiday that got me I’ve known about it for months it was after a shock bit of news that was his first thought then the money aspect

Justlivinglifexo Ever hear of contraceptive failure? The only 100% effective birth control is celibacy or sterilization or menopause for women. The OP explained contraceptive failure in her posts

@EKGEMS

don’t know if your replying to me but I only asked because if you use contraceptive properly, the odds of you getting pregnant are so VERY VERY VERY small.

the only way to get pregnant (chance wise) is to use contraceptives incorrectly or not at all.

The chances are small but they are not zero

You’re going to be a lone parent. He really doesn’t give a toss.

10 months into a relationship is way too soon however, he knows how the plugs and sockets work, so should have taken some responsibility himself.

This won’t end well. You deserve more

I have no idea if he will step up or not.

However, I think mners are always harsh when a man doesn't react well to a surprise pregnancy

Despite women often reacting the same. I ttc for 2 years and kind of thought it wouldn't happen. When I did, I panicked and thought about a holiday I had planned, the house I was in, could I do the school run and get to work and a nursery drop off.

Some women seriously consider abortion. But then judge men who go through the same thoughts.

I am not so sure it's the money aspect that's bothering you about the trip, Op. You seemed more annoyed that his life wasnt changing so much and yours is. That's unfortunately how pregnancy works. As long as he has money to prepare for the baby as well. I dont see the issue with this trip.

He clearly doesnt want to live together but you can finance yourself, so that's good. Unless you go down the route of 50:50 or him being the resident parent, his life womt change all that much. They are things you need to consider.

No point dwelling in the unfairness. Thinking about how unfair it is wont help.

Why are people being so nasty and judgemental?? Saying she did this on purpose and “well you got your second baby” - horrible and nasty. I hope you’re okay op

Ever hear of contraceptive failure? The only 100% effective birth control is celibacy or sterilization or menopause for women.

Don't bet on the menopause bit. I know more than one "menopause baby".

Hi mnetters

I am feeling good atm I spoke to my mum and she has been wonderful so I know I will be ok with or without him. I have always wanted more kids but in a settled loving relationship. I’m not prepared to put my DD or my unbornDC through the misery of another break up so I don’t see the point continuing this relationship as my gut feeling isn’t good about it atm.

I understand people find unexpected pregnancies hard to believe for five years since my DD I have had no scares so believe me I am more shocked than anyone about this

@Windygate 100% what you said.
'Listen carefully' this just hit home for me hugely and sounded like something Judge Judy would say.

Op you have just found out you are pregnant and have hit him with a huge amount of pressure in one conversation and his react was to tell you that he's not going to be controlled or made to grow up.
He may well be nice again but when the issue occurs his first reaction will always be his reaction in future.

I wish I'd learnt that before but I'm not great taking my own advice.
You say he's going away with the guys, but he has a child. How many holidays has he taking his child on? These are the flags we choose to ignore.