What a 24 hours that was. Thank you for your support - I love Mumsnet at the best of times but I never imagined how it would be with me through a time like that. I just felt like writing down what happened and thought it might be an interesting update too.
I had to wait quite a time before he went to sleep but I just kept thinking if I don’t do this now after the week we’d had, what on earth am I waiting for?
I initially contacted the police by livechat and then they rang me back while I literally hung out of the window to be quiet. I said I wanted to just report the incident but within a couple of minutes she said we are going to have to send someone to you, we can’t leave you and the children in the house after what’s happened.
Two policeman arrived within 10 minutes, talked to me about what had happened then asked me to stay in the kitchen so he wouldn’t see me and went upstairs, woke up my husband and took him outside.
Watching the car drive off was one of the worst things but when I was getting upset about it later the police officer said that I shouldn’t feel like I had done this to him as he had done it to himself and I had had given him a million chances. I know this but it’s still hard.
Two female police officers arrived about 3.30am. They were so lovely. We went through everything and there is actually so much. I should have done it sooner but what’s done is done and I’ve done it now which is important. They said that I had to do it, we couldn’t carry on living like this.
As suggested by another mumsnet thread some years ago, I had started keeping a brief record on my phone some time ago which was really helpful at jogging my memory for incidents.
We woke my children up later and they spent a long time with them. My eldest daughter has never spoken to anyone else about this but talked for about an hour which I think will be good for her and I was very grateful to the officer.
The police left and we went back to sleep but they rang at various points during the day with updates. He is now on bail but with conditions that he can’t come to the house or contact us. He came here with the police to get his car and I packed him some belongs again which really upset me as I thought if all the times I had packed things before, for holidays etc.
I feel so sorry for him but I think I had stopped feeling sorry for myself which is necessary in order to look after yourself. It might mean he can get some more help for himself too.
Friends have been wonderful and one came straight round after work and was here for the evening which was lovely.
We will have to do some more statement things next week. There is some way to go but it’s a start. The dcs are good and were together a lot yesterday which they haven’t been for ages. The house feels lighter, it will be ok.
Love to all especially those who are going through similar. Xxx