So, my husband is having an affair ... with our friend

[maskingtherealme]

Two fucking years ago!

Camilla WAS a close family friend. I saw her as a sister, best friend and children saw her as an Aunty. She came (on too many!) holidays with us - actually, all but one in 7 years, days out, stays over etc. She was once married to Andrew but she split from him in March 2017. Since then, Camilla and my husband Charles have had a make-over with the clothes they wear! They began a diet regime - TOGETHER! They started a new hobby - TOGETHER! They made household decisions in my home - TOGETHER! She insisted on sitting next to him on the same sofa rather than the spare, she would strip to her thong and bra to weigh herself in front of him - it's endless! I suspected something as far back as July 2014. But I wasn't overly concerned. She is an exhibitionist and also Charles was NOT one of those blokes who would look and chase - GOD, how wrong I was! But during that time, my depression took hold. I became withdrawn, used my smart phone as a release from the world around me - Charles and Camilla ignoring me, forgetting i was there and USING ME! Charles claims he feels on a high with her and not with me. he loves us equally - which hurt. We have been together for 14 years. I compared us to sweets; standing in an aisle not knowing whether to buy the smarties or the rolos. The Bastard was loving the pull from us both!

Anyways, here I am on day 5 now (early hours). I had a solicitor appointment yesterday which was EXTREMELY positive in my favour. I told the solicitor that Charles wants to; sell Camilla's house, give me £200,000 and move Camilla into our martial home - with his mother in the annexe and our children aged 7 and 4 sharing their time between 'home' and 'mummy's little house'. He laughed! I am entitled to FAR MORE than what he realises due to the massive imbalance in salaries between us plus a hefty child maintenance and a share of his pensions.

In 48 hours, Charles had ended it with me and asked to try again a total of FIVE TIMES! During that time, which was also a catalyst for him back and forth with his indecisiveness, Camilla apparently slashed herself - but not hard enough - and told him. the final time came when he went to see her to end it. Apparently a GP was being called by her friend because she was 'in a state' yet 24 hours later shes at work grinning like a Cheshire Cat whose got the cream!!! Not sure the slashing happened OR this GP was being called. Also apparently another guy left his wife for her last week when she had a choice between him and Charles and asked Charles to go with her!

Charles said there's been nothing sexual. Not convinced. Getting myself check out.

But stupidly I want him back. I think Camilla is manipulative, controlling - more so than Charles - and he lied about sex. Because he lied, I think Camilla has used that as a noose and said (slyly) that she (me) will find out and now he feels he has no choice but to be with her because I won't take him back - but I would!

One last chance! If he admits to sleeping with her prior to Tuesday 19th March and that this was all planned, I would want to save our marriage BUT on my terms. At least if he IS being controlled and felt he had no way of coming back, he may just?

I would give him 48 hours to consider and if I get a reply of 'no' or no reply at all, i am willing to go for full divorce procedures and I have a LONG LIST of unreasonable behaviour but also my solicitor said I could go for adultery.

Helpful advice would be welcome. I know many will think I am bonkers taking back a man who potentially has lied about the length of the affair and the nature of it, but I love my family. I want us to work. I don't want that home wrecker, narcissistic, man eater, selfie obsessed, control freak having my family.

How dumb of me to trust her.

Your making excuses for charles. What did camillia hold a gun to his head and say sleep with me????

I know you think shes manilipative but even with manilipation grown men have a responsiablity not to shag their wife's best friend. Sorry.

But you say it yourself you'd take him back literally yesterday if he admits it. No no no. You should use him admiting it to go cheers charlie boy see ya. And do what diana didnt do and walk away for the love of your children and your own self respect. A well known talk show host says it in life your treated how you allow yourself to be treated. They've treated you badly.

Other than that

• I see that that the nasties are out in force.

Put the wineglasses down dears and actually read what theOP has written*

Read what the OP has writen charles and camilia are having an affair and camilas husband is called andrew. Charles wales, Camilia P-B andrew P-B thats why everyones doubting it.

OP i understand why you used the names rather than A and B but it just makes people think your not real.

Although i would prehaps heed the advoce about seatbelts or even better than that prehaps don't get in to cars with drivers that are high on drugs. Tbh thats probably good advice for anyone regardless pf wether their husbands called Charles. And maybe give paris a miss if you get a boyfriend.

Please wear seat belts...and maybe avoid tunnels

Everyone who thought it was a joke thread because of the names, clearly dont remember the actual way the Charles and diana thing happened.

OP I am so sorry. You need to see a few solicitors and get some advice. You may get a good settlement you may not.

But you need to divorce. He doeent get the family home, just because he wants it.

He is horrible. He wasnt forced into this.

However, I have actually known a few women who use threats of suicide, to stop men leaving. Men do it too of course. And it's an abusive move. They will be miserable long term. You are better off out of it. I cant understand her even wanting to live in your family home. I get him wanting to. But not her.

You are better away from both of them, but dont leave the house if you dont want to. It's a house at the end of the day. Dont fight to stay in it if it's better for you to let him have it or sell it. Make sure that you make decisions that's based on what's good for you. Rather than what will, piss him off more.

Don't stay with this selfish prick!!!

Protect yourself - get proper legal advice, research and find out who the best divorce solicitor is in your area. Someone who will go for the jugular! Pay for an independent financial review and fight for a fair (to you) settlement for the future you want and deserve for you and your dc. It sounds like you have good assets and the potential to earn so you can 100% rebuild from here. You are worth more and can do better than a cheating f**kwit that is clearly only obsessed with himself, money and status! Good luck xx

I am massively real!! In fact, if some of the March 2015 mummies or January 2012 mummies were reading this, they would know who it is just from what I have written.

We have a swimming pool in our house. His mother lives with us. All things these people were told about when I was a member of the FB page.

It is VERY real. I suppose when I used the Camilla and Charles names it was because I had just found out that people called Her by the name Camilla because of the similarities in that she was always the third wheel in our marriage.

She was ALWAYS there! Every ikiday, day out, she would come over and stop the night - all instigated by my husband. At the time I started the post my emotions were frazzled. I was having some funny moments mainly because he is deluddd and thinks ina going to lie down and be walked on and let him kick me out of my own home in which I have lived here for 12 years to move her in so she can swan about her like lady fucking muck of the manor!

Boxerbinky - my solicitor has already said that with the total of all assets (I am gong for the shares and pensions too!) I can live happily mortgage free, with money in the bank and his child maintenance WILL take my household income to more than what I probably would have got full time!
And I was having that discussion with him only two weeks ago - going full time again in September but he knows now that due to his life choice that isn’t going to happen. Plus he was always told that there was no full time job as of yet, just discussions with my head (I am a part time primary school teacher)

Child maintenance will bring a lot on on his wage.

But not forever, make sure you use that time to get your career back on track and hold your pension. You may get part of his pension, but as a lump sum.

The assets may gove you a good financial position. But what if he knows that and they start disappearing?

Hopefully it will work out how your solicitor says. But read the divorce board. So many people, on there SHOULD get a great settlement and then dont. Theres so many tricks that high earners will use to get out of a fair settlement.

Dont take anything for granted.

What happens to his mother if he moves out?
Sorry you are going through this

Shit....is he kicking his mother out and moving hers in?

Is she dependent on him/you or both?

He really does sound like a weak shit of the first degree. Veering from wanting to be with you then her. It sounds like it's all about him and his wishes by the least 'costly' route emotionally and financially, and all in a rather crazed way. Wants (and had) all the trappings. And reckless too in respect of it being obvious to everyone at his workplace. It says a lot that you have had so much support from his workplace and that his mother contacted HR too. He must be a shit for you to have been messaged. Might he have damaged his future there irreparably putting his income on the line? I think I would gather as much info on his/your finances as you can since he has been planning your financial split and talking about 50/50 childcare (which btw is laughable based on his contribution to daily parenting input). You mentioned you and he were going on a coastal walk to talk and, genuinely, I was hoping it wasn't a walk of the cliff-top type , in view of the fact he has form for assault on you.

@maskingtherealme I'm glad you are in a strong position- Please do not be misled by him flip flopping his affections. He was all for leaving you, then found out he couldn't quite have his cake and eat it too and so decided he wanted to give it another go.. you are better without him. Good luck x

You CANNOT expect HRH to live in an annex!!

Look after yourself, it's a big shock to find out something like this, at first you live on adrenaline then there can be a big emotional 'crash'. She's not controlling him, she doesn't have a gun to his head, he's just another selfish shallow cheat.

Look after yourself and kids first

I’d leave him in a heartbeat. He sounds absolutely hideous and there is no way in a million years you should have to play “Pick Me” with your own husband.

I’d maybe talk to another solicitor though about the realities of the financial situation. £110k won’t stretch THAT far on two separate families.

I have found out that it has been going on for SEVEN YEARS

He doesn’t know I know.

Will get back later but my son was a newborn (he’s seven now) and my daughter was born 3 years after it began!

Jan 2012 mum’s may remember me having suspicions and then he found out my post and made me fucking apologise after denying it!

He’s going to the cleaners

once you take back a cheating partner, it is never the same.

I know of a story like this a friend who was stiffed out of her home by the Camilla type. The Charles character took a huge mortgage on the home which meant that she could not stay in the family home.

So just make sure your Charles is not running up loans on anything you own and you find there is no equity left in your home etc. and you cannot afford the mortgage repayments.

It sounds like a complete headwreck OP I'm sorry you're going through it

Take him to the fucking cleaners OP. Every red cent. Almost all your marriage has been built on lies. Protect your little kids and blank him. Stay in the house and communicate via solicitors if you can (childcare asides). You are worth more than him and his stupid Camilla.

Does he expect you to take on his Mother too?

Whatever you do, your MIL will be pissed.

Yes it looks like I am now responsible for his 81 year old mother. She is lovely and very generous and she has disowned him as has the rest of his family. He literally has nobody but her and our two lovely children.

The news this afternoon floored me. I have never cried so intensely as I did. It really does catch your breath and pains your chest. Seven fucking years.

Seven years of lies. He was sleeping with her whilst our children were growing up. It started when my little boy was a newborn; my daughter was born 3 years into their sordid little affair.

I want them to hurt; hurt like me, hurt like his mother, hurt like his children. I hope and pray for Karma.

And to think he believes he is going to move me out and move her in! I need a facepalm emoji

To specify the salary -
Charles and Camilla now have a joint salary of £110,000, 4 card (2 jags, merc and land rover) and a 5 bed home.

He missed his cruises and romantic getaways we had before children. He said twice that he never envisaged himself as a family man.

QUESTION: Is this typical of a mid life crisis? Not that it's an excuse nor would I take him back. he makes me shudder knowing our intimacy was poisoned for 7 fucking years.

I am sorry you are going through this.
Get your papers together, gather evidence of every thing. Bank statements, passports etc.
Get good legal advice.
💐

Is this typical of a mid life crisis?

Well yes and no.

Personally I hate the phrase "mid life crisis" as it excuses the absolute selfish cruelty. As if its like the menopause or dementia, something that occurs and cannot be helped. Bollocks. They choose this.

So yes it is what many think of as a MLC, but no in that I dont believe it exists.

Seven years, with a child happening during the affair, says he never intended to leave you for her. Which explains the flaunting she did, she wanted you to find out so you would sling him out and she would "win" Its not much comfort but he didnt love her, he used her.

Take the cunt to the cleaners.