Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Silent treatment...

67 replies

beckymad · 13/03/2019 17:20

Me and 'D'P had a disagreement earlier.

Resulted in him telling me to fuck off. I responded and told him to get some respect.

This was at around 10 this morning. I text about two hours ago to see what time he was home... no reply.

I know he's been on his phone since the text. How do you deal with silent treatment? I want to phone him and ask if there is a reason he is ignoring me but I know I shouldn't just cave in and give in to his childish ways...

Do I just ignore until he decides he's over his mood?

OP posts:
averythinline · 14/03/2019 11:32

Whose friends mainly? - could you talk to them and say you are cancelling because you are dumping him....there maybe someone else you could bring....if they are your friends
if they are more his- just tell them you are cancelling

wouldnt bother having a conversation with him - just dump him and then block......

Original poster
beckymad · 14/03/2019 11:40

Both our friends. We both knew them and were friends before we were together. Got closer now we're together

Holiday can't be cancelled and no money will be refunded. It's a last minute one.

We've had a lot of problems and sorted them, and then he goes back to his old ways. I can't fix him and I can't help him anymore then I've tried. It's just shit knowing that someone you care about so much doesn't care at all...

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/03/2019 11:45

Yes, it is shit.

But it's also pointless wasting any more time and energy on this man.

Time to throw him back into the pond.

Carrotgirl87 · 14/03/2019 11:49

I used to have an ex like this, when I think back I cringe at the fact I put up with it... i did used to find though, if we ever made a commitment such as a holiday or buying tickets for something, that used to trigger the shitty behaviour as he KNEW I'd worry about it and he could get away with it more. Not sure if Iv explained that right but, I know what I mean 😂 clearly abusive and controlling mind games. Might be something to think about. Thanks

Original poster
beckymad · 14/03/2019 11:52

carrotgirl87 yeah that makes perfect sense!!

How did you get out?

OP posts:
Carrotgirl87 · 14/03/2019 11:56

Something just clicked, after two years of pretty horrible treatment, I just, had enough. I packed my stuff into my car and went back to my parents, blocked blocked blocked and it drove him crazy losing that control. I'm many years on now and can see it for what it was but, it was definitely not easy at the time, I let him get away with far too much and it's taught me many lessons. I hope you get things sorted xx

Original poster
beckymad · 14/03/2019 13:44

Thanks carrotgirl87 I hope I can do the same as you!!

Did he try and contact you at all?xx

OP posts:
Carrotgirl87 · 14/03/2019 13:57

Oh yes, once he realised I was serious, I had calls from unknown numbers, fake Facebook profiles messaging, emails, and he turned up once. I just stuck to my guns, at that point my mind was made up, but bear in mind when I'd booked us a holiday, 7 weeks before we went he ignored me for SIX WEEKS, other than the odd crumb giving text maybe three or four in total, then came back to me the week before saying he'd needed space blah blah and I was so relieved to hear from him I took it and never said a word and we enjoyed our holiday, I was even GREATFUL. that was one of the lowest points looking back x

TougheningUp · 14/03/2019 14:02

It will be worth losing the holiday money to be free of this abusive, nasty man. Consider the cost of it a freedom tax.

Brace yourself for him to suddenly become more attentive and lovely. He will almost certainly want to reel you back in. Don't let him. Block him everywhere you can. Ignore all his attempts to be nice to you. He's horrible, and you deserve better.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/03/2019 14:03

Any update, OP?

Original poster
beckymad · 14/03/2019 14:18

No update. Haven't heard from him since he started kicking off and I don't want to either.

I'm not making an effort anymore. I've made plans tonight so I'll keep myself busy and take my mind off of him.

I know I shouldn't be with him and I know I deserve better but I'm scared. He's made me feel like I'll have nothing without him

OP posts:
Carrotgirl87 · 14/03/2019 14:24

They do that, unfortunately. Dunno if I can link a website or it's not allowed but I spent a loada times on the psychopath free site and forums and ordered and read their book. Was an eye opener when I was trying to keep myself occupied and eventually I got the strength up to do it xx

JenniferJareau · 14/03/2019 15:05

I know I shouldn't be with him and I know I deserve better but I'm scared. He's made me feel like I'll have nothing without him

You are in control of your life, not him. Please remember that.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/03/2019 15:09

'Nothing' would be better than this prick being the 'something'.

averythinline · 14/03/2019 16:19

Just block him on any form of communications ....and thank your lucky stars you have your own place/life -

I woudl ditch the holiday and even if you lose the money ca nyou save the time and save up and do something you would like to do ....or something for yourself -

Jux · 14/03/2019 17:02

Just keep telling yourself that you'll never meet the right man while you stick with the wrong one.

cstaff · 14/03/2019 17:11

Stay strong Op. Go out tonight and enjoy and even better ignore his calls, texts etc.

leonasa · 14/03/2019 20:06

Don't think about the money. I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship for three years because there was always something coming up to hold on for. I suffered a hell of a lot more pain and lost a lot more money in the end.

Leaving now would be cutting your losses.

Original poster
beckymad · 15/03/2019 09:19

Back to the silent treatment again!!

He's acting like such a child

OP posts:
thinkingcapon · 15/03/2019 09:42

We are all going to give you the same advice........fuck this life with him it's crazy!its not supposed to be this hard!

Original poster
beckymad · 15/03/2019 10:02

I know. It is hard though.

I wish I'd never book this stupid holiday!!!

OP posts:
thinkingcapon · 15/03/2019 10:13

You're right it is hard to change something your used to........but you don't need this or him

it's not hard to look back in a few months time and think why the fuck was I with him!

Original poster
beckymad · 15/03/2019 10:58

I think I'll be ending it today. He's just told me he doesn't care whether we're together or not, I've done this to myself and everything is my fault.

£600 down the drain though!

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/03/2019 11:45

Or... £600 bargain to get shot of this horrible shitbag.

Good luck!

'I care even less than you do. We're finished.'

Then blockity block!

You deserve much better. Flowers

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/03/2019 14:36

£600 down the drain though!

Dickhead removal is more expensive than bedbugs or cockroaches.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.