Looking for some advice on how I should deal with this situation.
I have always got on alright with my in-laws but sometimes they just overstep the boundaries and this weekend was the final nail in the coffin!
I am very laid back and don’t really set many guidelines as I believe if someone is looking after my 1year old child I trust them enough, I just like schedule with sleep/ feeding guidelines to be followed.
I’ve asked a few times (politely) for in-laws not to feed finger food on a spoon to my son. First time I said this 10 seconds later I caught mil feeding strawberries on a spoon. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve mentioned it now. I’ve also asked for them not to directly place food in ds mouth and since then I keep getting comments of ‘as long as he eats’. On ds 1st birthday in-laws were round, ds was creating in his high chair and it was clear he wasn’t hungry. 1 min later fil said to mil ‘I don’t care as long as he eats, put it in his mouth with your hand’. I am raging! He clearly said this so I could hear. Partner agrees with me about this being disrespectful and says he will speak to them.
This isn’t the first issue. The day after they kept pestering me to give him a drink before his meal. I said no because he will fill up on water but they still kept asking until I had to be blunt and then they gave me the cold shoulder.
Other incidents include:
- not following nap schedule for 6 months (this only got sorted as I turned visits into supervised ones at my own house). He now sleeps like a dream at theirs (goes one day a week)
-I mentioned something about partner being tired and mil told me I needed to start doing more and to give partner a break-This was like a red rag to a bull and I told her that nobody tells me that I need to do more.
-DS crying after falling and putting his arms out for me for mil to swoop in and take him.
-I prepared dinner for ds and fil telling me they will feed him and that I should leave the kitchen. Let this slide and checked on ds 10 min later to be told it’s be better if I left because I’m distracting him
-turning up unannounced to see ds.
-force feeding ds telling me they shovel the spoon in when he’s distracted after I’ve specifically said I’d prefer if he ate ‘non messy foods’ himself and once he stops I know that he’ll be full.
-telling me I need to make more effort to contact them to arrange for them to see ds-he goes for a full day once a week.
Tbh it was the birthday incident that has peed me off the most. I intend on saying something next time I see them but would like some advice on how exactly I should do this. Partner thinks the nice approach and explaining why we have made decisions is the best approach and not to mention that they are out of order but I am sick of dancing around them?