I know this post is very old but I need help. I have cheated on my partner/fiancé of 4 years. It was the biggest mistake of my life, it was with a friend of mine who gave me a lift home after a night out. This person was a friend of mine for many years and we liked each other about 8 years ago however it never went anywhere and we stayed good friends. I was wasted and didn’t even remember it until I woke up the next day and realised where I was. The night it happened I was touched inappropriately in a night club and it really done me in and had to give my statement to the police at the club, I then waited outside for my lift home for quite some time ,I think the drink really hit me and everything was a blur from then. I know being drunk is never an excuse. we have been engaged for less than a year but it was the best day of my life. He makes me so happy and I do love him with all of my heart despite what anybody may think. He has a 7 year old who I adore from a previous relationship and I have a 4 year old who knows him as his dad, he was there from when my son was two weeks old. He’s a fantastic father And partner. Less than a year into our relationship he cheated on me, it was the exact same situation as Im in. I forgave him and it killed me for about a a year but changed our relationship for the better. I trust him wholeheartedly which is why this is killing me. I know two wrongs do not make a right and I’m unsure I could ever forgive myself without his forgiveness. I can’t even begin to explain how much I hate myself. i don’t want to break his heart by telling him, I know without a doubt he will leave me instantly and walk out of mine and my sons life and I’ll never see his daughter again, he told me In the past he would walk out . I honestly wish I knew what went through my head at the time but I can’t even remember which makes me feel even more sick this person has promised to never tell, he has a girlfriend too. It’s the biggest mistake of my life and I am a billion percent this will never happen again and I’d spend the rest of my life being the best partner I could be. Or I don’t tell him and deal with this forever, I’m not sure I’m able to. Part of me has considered not telling him for 3/4 years and then telling him in hopes that we’ve been together for so long that he will release how much I love him and won’t leave. I’m petrified of it. But that’s selfish of me. And I have also considered never telling him but I’m not sure I can hold that in forever. I feel like I could never live without him. I know it sounds stupid I am only 22 but this guy is my soulmate and so brilliant with my son. I want to marry him and have children. Someone please help me do I suck it up and never tell him and spend my life being the best partner I can be Or do i tell him and break our family and let him walk away. I really do love this guy more than anything.