Hi im new here & at my wits end.
My partner of over 12 years has just left me and the kids and refusing to answer the phone or communicate at all. He does have some mental illness & depression which is currently being looked into. His mum also has serious mental health issues and has tried to commit suicide many times over the last 6 years and I have watched him deteriorate every time she does it. His family stay in another city about an hour away & it seems every time theres a trauma in the last year he runs back to stay there and even last year went 6 months without contacting us much either. He did say he felt isolated sometimes but he had did that to himself pushing friends away etc and I encouraged him to join local mens anxietty groups etc to help but he hadn't been yet. He came back properly in January and was looking for a job, things seemed to be going well, helping with the kids etc then last week, he gets the call his mum had tried again and he left upset to go visit and help his nana out (who he always seems to put before his kids as he says is old and has no one there) Over the next two days there was no contact at all and I worried. We spoke briefly and he seemed ok but started to say he wanted to stay there as he had more people, job offers etc. The next day we chatted & I asked could he come back to take the kids as I was working that night and he said yes. He didn't show and we couldn't contact him for a further 4 days almost. I was really struggling to process and deal with everything. He texted briefly to say he had a job there and was starting Monday and didn't want to talk to me on the phone as id "want to talk forever" and argue. I replied it was the least he could do to actually let me know what was going on as he has literally up and left and no reason for it. I think it may be mental health related in some way but not all. My hearts breaking for the kids and I hate myself for letting him back in after last time and hes doing this again. I thought about driving there and confronting him but then the kids would be there too so I haven't. I feel the anger and hurt he must be feeling towards his mum is being taken out on me as its a pattern that happens every time she isn't keeping good. Really don't know what to do. :-(