help found out about my partner cheating :(

[Loz123456]

Hi all, so I'll keep the story short.
Basically I recieved a massage on fb three days ago out the blue saying my partner had cheated on me a few years ago(we have been together 8 yrs), I don't have clue who sent this message but anyway. That night he got in from work I confronted him about it and at first he said "no thats not true" but then slightly admitted it to me saying it was a mistake and the he wished he never did. I didn't go mad at him or anything, if anything I was in so much shock. I didn't know what to do or say.

So today I decided to message the girl he slept with (I coulnt get it off my mind) and I asked her for her side of things. My partner doesn't know I've spoke to her yet am gonna confront him about it when he get In later.

So she told me this.... me and him was seeing each other for abit a slept with him yea we all kept it quite.
I asked how many times they had sex and if they used protection and she told that they had sex more than once and never used protection and that she lost a baby 4 a half months later after having sex with him but she didnt say anyhing cause she didnt know if it was my partners or her ex partners,, she also told me that he was considering leaving me but didnt now to end it with me, so she broke it of with him and moved away. I didnt have clue about any of this until three days ago.

Theres more to the story but it so long, I just need some advice, am so stuck, i don't know what to do, who to believe or anything I just don't to be taken for a mug, I have a 1 yr old child with him and don't want my daughter to grow up thinking this is how a relationship works. my head is so stuck,, pleasee someone offer some good advise,
Thanka for reading this too 😊

I suppose what I want is for him to be telling the truth and she's just lying and wants him to her self, he's even had his mates tell me he had sex with her once. I keep playing mind games with my self and think he's telling the truth and then the next I get a strong feeling he's still lying to me

I post on her before about our realatioship a few time here's the links.
The first time I posted..
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3197021-Need-advice

Here's the second post...
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3218206-Am-i-being-selfish

Why do you want to say with him?

Cheating aside, after reading your previous threads, you're clearly unhappy and he treats you very badly.

Does he have any good points?

*stay not say!

when I broke up with him Last year he begged and begged me to stay and I guess I was very vulnerable,, I gave in to easily. I mean thing did get better he new he need to treat me with respect but that lasted about 5-6 months. I have been blinded by love and and I only see what I wanna see. I think this is half the reason why he's was like that with me last year on my other posts, his guilt was eating away at him and hes thought that if he could get me wrapped around his little finger, I wont leave him but I did,

You do everything for him cook clean wash his clothes etc....all while looking after your dc
While he insults you/calls you names treats you like a servant and has cheated on you

What exactly do you love in this reality above and in both the opening posts of previous threads.
Love isn't just a feeling it has to be backed up by actions and sometimes we have to value ourselves enough to realise the other person your partner doesn't deserve your love.
Staying with someone who treats you this way isn't love it's fooling yourself and eroding your self worth

Please tell us you're leaving him now.

Oh I have been in your situation at your age after being with someone since 15. He treated me like utter shit. Best thing I done was end it. Yes it is hard initially and you miss them but you are so young still and should be enjoying your life not stuck in a crap relationship where you are shown no consideration, care or compassion.

Loz, what is your dealbreaker? Does it matter how many times he cheated? Once would be it for me.

I read your other threads. This man has controlled and abused you for years by using anger, punching doors and objects, calling you names, demanding complete subservience, and accusing you of under-appreciating him while you wait on him hand and foot. He did not work for three years, and when he finally got a job, he bullied you into never going out.

It is damaging to your child to be exposed to his brutality and this toxic relationship. You left last year, but allowed him to talk you around. It is difficult to stay away because since age 13 you’ve had a codependent relationship with him. You must be strong to leave and mean it.

Your precious daughter deserves a safe and secure life.