Boyfriend wants me to meet his children

[Fluffsters]

My lovely boyfriend and I have been together for three months.

We are serious about each other and I feel genuinely lucky to be with such a kind and wonderful person.

He has met my young son twice, but has never spent the night when my son is with me.

My boyfriend is very keen for me to meet his young children. Recently, he asked me when this would be happening. When he did I just felt complete panic. I tried to explain that I do want to meet his kids, but not yet.

My partner and I had a conversation early last month about slowing things down as he had brought up moving in together (at some point) and even the ‘m’ word.

I’m committed to our relationship and our future together.

Should i be concerned about myself because I’m not willing to meet his children yet?

Oddcat, it happened briefly over a few years. I didn’t split up with him immediately.

Do you mean my boundaries re what’s acceptable in a relationship?

I think you are missing a big part of your relationship . The initial part should be getting to know each other . With children involved on both sides the amount of time you can possibly spent together is limited .

There is so much to learn about each other. Take it slow and enjoy it.

Do you mean my boundaries re what’s acceptable in a relationship?

Yes

He's met your kid but you feel it's too soon to meet his?

You lost me there to be honest.

I've been seeing my bf for about the same amount of time, maybe a bit longer actually. I have DC's, he doesn't. I haven't introduced him to mine because it's all a bit much but the big question for me is, how on earth have you got round to talking about marriage and living together so quickly when you are both post divorce?

We are so wary because we've both had decades long relationships breakdown so you two are way ahead! Are you sure this is what you want? You sound very worried about it.

Why is he being described as 'racing ahead' when OP is the one that twice introduced him to her son already?

Also maybe he's excited, happy, thinks he's found the one. It doesn't sound as if he's actually talking of marriage plans, just 'one day'.

I don't see red flags, I see a man cynically not being given the benefit of the doubt.

By the way OP have you thought about what it's like to be a blended family? His DCs won't live with you I assume, but they could at least for a time one day. Or even stay some weekends. Are you up for that?

I just find it strange that it's ok for him to meet your DS but you don't want to meet his DCs. I don't see how it's 'too soon' for his DCs, but not for yours.

It's a bit late to backtrack now as you can't 'undo' that he's met your son.

Best if you can just relax and enjoy your relationship though, whilst being alert to signs of anything being odd. All the analysing isn't so good at times