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Original poster

He broke my heart with what he said

61 replies

kombre · 06/03/2019 23:00

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 and a half years, a few times in the relationship he has been reluctant to say and didn’t want to hurt me but has commented on my weight and my body. I am petite, always have been, when he met me I was petite too. He knows I’ve had issues off my family and when I was at school about my body and how slim I am/was. I am petite, I have small breasts but my bum and thighs are alright I personally think I have weight and curve there. He basically broke my head the other day, when I said, you don’t really flirt or joke around in a “naughty” way with me, and after a bit of thinking he came back with, I really don’t want to say it, but I’m not attracted to your body enough for me to do those things. Which I think is one of the worst things a person can hear from their loved ones. Couple days have gone by and he said he still wants to be with me and that he knows he took a really bad approach talking about it and he should love me for me. But he hasn’t done much else like compliment me, buy me anything or surprise me, I just know I’d do anything to makesure he was okay if I hurt him with such a thing. But also, this has hurt my mental health and esteem like crazy, I will be insecure and sad knowing he’s not really attracted a lot to my body,

But it has been a long time for us, and he loves me for me, but this is obviously a serious issue,

Any advice please ????? 💔

OP posts:
Original poster
kombre · 06/03/2019 23:01

Heart *

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 06/03/2019 23:04

So he's been slagging off your body for ~5 years despite you basically not changing since he first asked you out?

I said, you don’t really flirt or joke around in a “naughty” way with me

And then he made up a reason to make it your fault...

shedougahole · 06/03/2019 23:07

So you’ve been with him 5 years and he isn’t attracted to your body?, I’m guessing he’s still having sex with you though. In all honestly I’d leave him, you deserve a lot more than someone who talks to you like that. If you loved someone you wouldn’t say something that hurtful to them

Unguent · 06/03/2019 23:07

What NotThe said. He’s been criticising your body for five and a half years, and this is somehow your fault. Hmm

ChippyPickledEggs · 06/03/2019 23:11

Oh dump him - please. How are you going to be able to feel relaxed and confident during sex with him now? There is nothing wrong with your body. But there is something seriously wrong with a man who habitually puts his partner down.

BuffaloSpringfield · 06/03/2019 23:15

He doesnt love you. You deserve to find someone who does.

Dump him, move on. Work on your self esteem. He is making you miserable.

Honeybee79 · 06/03/2019 23:16

He sounds awful. Why would he say something so hurtful unless he was trying to blame you for his own failings?

A comment like that would be a deal breaker for me because I would now be thinking that he has thought that for 5 fucking years!

frenchonion · 06/03/2019 23:25

And he looks like a young Johnny Depp does he? Dump. Tell him his penis size and shape doesn't really do it for you, never has. Then block. What a nasty prick.

DemelzaPoldarksshinerrefiner · 06/03/2019 23:26

Not very attractive himself is he ? Time to borrow Nancy Sinatra’s footwear !

Original poster
kombre · 06/03/2019 23:27

Sorry guys if you read it wrong !!!!

I’m the one that said: you don’t really flirt with me or joke around,

and his explaination was what he said
and it has been a couple/few times in the relationship he has mentioned this not constantly, but the last situation where he has (a couple days ago) it obviously hit me really bad

** hope it clears up any uncertainty

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 06/03/2019 23:28

So you're too small and petite for him are you? I hope he's Mr Adonis?

Unguent · 06/03/2019 23:29

I read it perfectly clearly. He still sounds godawful. What is in this joyless relationship for you?

Ohyesiam · 06/03/2019 23:33

Your body sounds great, go and find one of the many men who will appreciate it.

SandyY2K · 06/03/2019 23:34

Why is he with you if he doesn't find your body attractive?

I'm sorry, but that would be the end for me. I presume you haven't got kids as you dont mention any.

I'd not have kids with a man who said that to me.

Discodoc101 · 06/03/2019 23:35

You deserve to be with someone who is terrified to lose you - not someone who is wilfully cruel. He’s a muppet

ivykaty44 · 06/03/2019 23:39

Oh this is so sad, go and find someone who does fancy the pants off you as I bet you’re a stunner.

Better to be on your own though than with this twit

NotTheFordType · 06/03/2019 23:43

We all read it correctly OP.

OK let me rephrase it: what about your body has changed since you first got together? Be specific with measurements please.

nicenewdusters · 06/03/2019 23:43

So he doesn't find you physically attractive but he's still with you. Why ?
a) pity
b) you do everything so make his life easier
c) he's a dickhead who knows that nobody else would have him, but feels comfortable enough with you to slap you down occasionally so that you feel too insecure to leave.

My money would be on c. Dump him and find somebody who truly loves you just as you are - because what you are is good enough.

WeWantJustice · 06/03/2019 23:45

LTB.

He's just not that into you.

He doesn't love you the way you love him and the way you deserve to be loved.

Leave. Find someone who cares more about you than your arse.

Original poster
kombre · 06/03/2019 23:47

I wouldn’t say I’ve changed much at all, he recently started going gym again about a month ago, and because I wanted to hopefully get bigger I’ve started as well,
I’m not sure if it’s because he’s started to get bigger now he’s wanting me to be bigger or someone bigger but I still think it’s a deep thing to bring up in such a long term relationship

OP posts:
Klopptimist · 06/03/2019 23:55

I have small breasts

That might be so but you do have one massive tit and if I were you, I'd remove it. You deserve so much better.

NotTheFordType · 06/03/2019 23:55

I wouldn’t say I’ve changed much at all

So he's not fancied you for the entirety of your relationship, then? You need to ask him very specifically.

I strongly suspect he's got one foot out the door, sorry.

LeesPostersAreInFrames · 06/03/2019 23:58

"A few times in the relationship he has been reluctant to say and didn’t want to hurt me but has commented on my weight and my body"

How kind of him (not) to be reluctant to comment negatively on your body but to still find it within himself to do it, repeatedly. Hmm

Original poster
kombre · 06/03/2019 23:59

well he said as he’s got older his preference has changed to wanting a bigger woman,
also, he hasn’t said he doesn’t find me (as in my face) beautiful lol,
Just specifically he has a preference and that’s a body bigger than mine, which he believes prevents him from being as flirty and complimenting, as a person would like,

OP posts:
EhlanaOfElenia · 06/03/2019 23:59

It sounds like he's settled for you because he likes you, but that he's not wildly attracted to you. Have you settled for him or do you find him attractive?

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