So so mad with my selfish sister, pregnant when her kids hate the father

[pumpkinpie01]

Im so angry with my sister I just need a rant. Bit of a back story - she runs her own business and is barely at home, (think 6 days a week 12 hour days) her 2 youngest children 10 and 15 are on their own a lot. She works all weekend, never spends any quality time with them. Just under 2 years ago she started a relationship with a man 18 years younger than her and moved him in within 3 months. Her DC have no bond with him whatsoever. She is now about 3 months pregnant god knows how she will find the time to look after a baby. I think the world of her kids, her DD was sobbing her heart out at her mums selfishness and the 2 oldest have now moved in with me and want nothing to do with her. How on earth is this going to have a happy ending ? Why get pregnant deliberately by a man your kids have no relationship at all with ? I cant get my head round her thinking, Im so angry that she has basically put him before her DC.

Wow your sister is a self involved bitch isn’t she?

Let your DN do everything in her own time and stop entertaining your sister.

Poor girl. She is already here and should be a priority with her mother not one that doesn’t yet exist

Pumpkinpie what you seem to be forgetting with all this drama is that your DN wants a relationship with her mother and that's the reason she's sobbing. And so does your sister with her daughter. It might not be how you would do things as a parent but a family is many different things. Surely your job as an aunt, if you really wanted to do the best for your DN, is to help them all to communicate better with each other. As it is you're just fanning the flames, congratulating yourself on what a good aunt you are and watching and encouraging this family to implode.

Has anyone suggested family therapy where they can both get their opinions across ?

@carben my DN won’t speak to her at all believe me I have tried several times I have asked her if she feels ready and she says no and that they don’t really talk anyway.if I force her to go over to her she would probably go to her dads and not come back. There was a knock at the door yesterday and she wouldn’t go downstairs in case it was her. My sisters bf was moved in when they hadn’t been going out long , what teenage girl wants to live with a man 6 years older than her that she barely knows, not many I bet , now there is a baby on the way she knows her mum will have even less time for her. My sis is now trying more than she was initially which is good but I cannot make her talk to her I can only encourage her which I have done. she has told her to give her time I don’t think I should get involved now.

@notapizzaeater that’s a good idea I think that would help.

I would inform your sister if either she or her boy toy attempt to break into/or damage your house you will call the police.

Your sister can not force her daughter to come home, as she is staying in a 'safe' place with family.

I'm glad your niece and nephew have safe, loving place to go during this time.