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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Wedding night affair

48 replies

Pas1234 · 04/03/2019 20:17

After 6 years of marriage my OH has accused me of having sex on our wedding night. It took 6 years to raise the subject. Nothing happened. Do you think a divorce is inevitable or can the marriage be saved?

OP posts:
Jon65 · 04/03/2019 20:19

Did you? And not with him?

RagingWhoreBag · 04/03/2019 20:19

I don’t think anyone can say on the basis of that little information. What on earth makes him think you cheated on your wedding night and why on earth has it taken him to long to accuse you?! If he’s lived with the suspicion this long, it doesn’t sound like a deal breaker, unless he’s stayed with you for money/kids etc?

Reccy2018 · 04/03/2019 20:20

Who on earth with?

AnyFucker · 04/03/2019 20:20

Really ?

LuckyLou7 · 04/03/2019 20:21

Did you?

Mrsmummy90 · 04/03/2019 20:22

I think we're gonna need a bit more information 🤔

Pas1234 · 04/03/2019 20:23

There was no sex with the person i am accused of having sex with. I did not know the person and was an invite of my OH. The reason given was that the performance on the wedding night was not to the usual level, i left the room part way through the reception, the person left a few minutes later, i returned and the person came back in the room a few minutes later

OP posts:
Insomnibrat · 04/03/2019 20:25

It's my thinking that if you're sober or lucid enough to be having sex at all on the night of your wedding you're probably doing weddings wrong. Groom or not.

ladymariner · 04/03/2019 20:25

How, errrr,.... interesting

Chapter1 · 04/03/2019 20:27

What, you’re the groom?

18yearsoftrying · 04/03/2019 20:29

I may well be barking up the wrong tree but in my experience the accuser is often guilty of the crime they claim you committed.

I do hope I am wrong. Sorry if this upsets you.

Iflyaway · 04/03/2019 20:34

After 6 years of marriage

Why now?

What's he trying to hide and putting on you?

Forget about 6 years ago. It's obviously bullshit what he's saying. He's fucking with your head.

Better to get onto the programme about it in the here and now.

Shouldbedoing · 04/03/2019 20:36

Is your DH mentally well?

LuckyLou7 · 04/03/2019 20:37

What was the performance?

BayandBlonde · 04/03/2019 20:39

So what did happen with this person who left the room pretty much immediately after you and returned not long after. It wasn't sex, so what was it?

DontGoogleBlueWaffle · 04/03/2019 20:41

It'll be interesting to see everyone's reaction switch if the OP is the groom...

RagingWhoreBag · 04/03/2019 20:43

So your OH isn’t pleased with your bedroom antics on the wedding night, has a suspicion that you may have shagged someone else earlier that evening and so they live with you, silently seething, for 6 years and then accuse you?!

They have some steely willpower and a real sense of dramatic tension to wait it out this long, I’ll give them that!

AutumnCrow · 04/03/2019 20:44

I was thinking various scenarios, MM, FF, MF, FM.

I still think it's odd.

Gazelda · 04/03/2019 20:44

There was no sex with the person i am accused of having sex with.
That's quite an unusual turn of phrase. It gives suspicion that something happened that night. Or that you've had sex with someone other than your spouse at some point.

Mrsmadevans · 04/03/2019 20:46

Bit vague the details OP

DramaAlpaca · 04/03/2019 20:48

After 6 years? I think more info is needed.

Windinmyhair · 04/03/2019 20:48

@Gazelda - that is exactly what I took from the way that was worded too.

AnyFucker · 04/03/2019 20:48

This reply has been deleted

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LiveThisLife · 04/03/2019 20:48

What @gazelda said.

Romanov · 04/03/2019 20:53

DontGoogleBlueWaffle
It'll be interesting to see everyone's reaction switch if the OP is the groom...

why? why have you even bothered to put this!?? no one gives a shiny shit if the OP is male/female/bride/groom - its not important