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Original poster

Do men ever leave before it gets physical?

45 replies

Dixieland123 · 01/03/2019 17:35

My friend is having what I would call an emotional affair with a guy who has a long term partner. She is determined that nothing physical will happen while he’s still with his partner. My question is, do men ever leave their partners for someone else before it has got physical?

OP posts:
2019willbegreat · 01/03/2019 17:38

Mine did. He then came back. Then I realised he would never change so I finished it for good. He's now gone back to her.

lifegoes · 01/03/2019 17:38

Absolutely not and he will wear her down and sleep with her.

And quite frankly I hope she gets very hurt, which she will. As she's destroying a family.

kenandbarbie · 01/03/2019 17:40

I suppose so. But why would she want someone who strung his partner along having an emotional affair with someone else? Not exactly a reliable choice and a good indicator of someone who would treat her well.

Original poster
Dixieland123 · 01/03/2019 17:46

I think the situation is that they’re both insanely attracted to each other (her words) and they’re friends. And they want to do this an honourably as possible. But I’m suspicious that he won’t leave his nice partner, nice house and nice reputation when they haven’t even kissed.

OP posts:
Tennesseewhiskey · 01/03/2019 17:47

Absolutely not and he will wear her down and sleep with her.

Wear her down? Or she decides to sleep with him, cause she is an adult?

OP some men do. But if it's already got this far, then it's still cheating. He is still lying to his partner, hiding things, deceiving her, putting his jollies in front of the person he is meant to love. For most people thats the part of cheating that people cant love past. Not the sex itself.

So she is still involved with a selfish dickhead.

He may just enjoy the attention and have no plans to sleep with your friend or leave his partner. I have known quite a few men and women who dont think is wrong. Even while they are deleting texts and sneaking off to reply.

Or he may shag your friend and come up with a long line of excuses as to why he cant leave yet while bullshitting promising he will leave one day

Maybe he will leave his partner and they will live happily ever after, while somewhere in the back of her mind she wonders if he is deleting texts from his new ego stroker.

Who knows....but if she is the type to get involved with an attached man, she deserves everything that is coming her way.

needthisthread · 01/03/2019 17:49

Your friend needs to back the fuck away.

juliej00ls · 01/03/2019 17:51

He will sleep with her and never leave his partner , nice house, kids etc which I suspect he has done before ..... insanely in love ......what is she 12.

lifegoes · 01/03/2019 17:57

He will sleep with her and never leave his partner , nice house, kids etc which I suspect he has done before ..... insanely in love ......what is she 12.

This!!!!

Wear her down? Or she decides to sleep with him, cause she is an adult?

Just because she's an "adult" doesn't mean she makes the right choice or that she can't be manipulated into thinking they should.

Yes she CAN decide to sleep with him off her own back.

Either way an emotional affair of sexual affair with a married man is wrong in my book, by both parties involved.

howhowhow · 01/03/2019 18:02

If she wants to do the honourable thing she should leave him the fuck alone. Fuck an ea. He's married. Tell her to have some respect for herself. She shouldn't be having an ea with a married man ffs. And as for him, knobber. By all means divorce your wife fuckwit but have the decency to do that before you start up with someone else.

Original poster
Dixieland123 · 01/03/2019 18:04

He’s not married.

OP posts:
needthisthread · 01/03/2019 18:07

Oh well that's ok then Hmm

Tennesseewhiskey · 01/03/2019 18:10

He’s not married.

Kids involved?

If they aren't married he can walk away from teb relationship. No divorce to deal with.

If kids are involved, he is more of a twat.

If they aren't, its even easier to walk away.

lifegoes · 01/03/2019 18:10

he's in a relationship!!!

Does she have no morals or respect for other women!???

Tennesseewhiskey · 01/03/2019 18:11

Let's drop the 'asking for a friend' act.

You are watching the thread but only answered to clarify he isn't married. As though that's makes a difference.

Original poster
Dixieland123 · 01/03/2019 18:18

I’m genuinely asking about my friend. I agree with you, I don’t think he’ll leave without getting physical first. I can’t imagine a guy doing that but maybe I haven’t met that type of guy before. I haven’t met this one.

No kids but they live together (this man and his partner) and have been together for a long time.

OP posts:
howhowhow · 01/03/2019 18:19

Replace married with co habiting then.

Ginger1982 · 01/03/2019 18:20

He's being a shit and so is she.

booboo24 · 01/03/2019 18:20

She'll get hurt and it will serve her right, no sympathy here. Why are you (why is she) hankering after someone who's in a relationship, it reeks of desperation.

Seaseasea · 01/03/2019 18:20

My friend had an emotional affair with a married man, she was 20 and he was mid 40s with a wife and three kids. He left his wife before they slept together and they’ve lived with each other for 10 odd years now.

Tennesseewhiskey · 01/03/2019 18:25

And now you respond when challenged. Whoever this is about, I feel sorry for you that you have only ever known men leave when a physical affair starts. Doesnt say much about the men you know.

No kids, no divorce needed. If he wanted to leave he would have already left.

ChakiraChakra · 01/03/2019 18:26

Why would anybody knowingly choose a partner that they know for certain is capable of an EA? Confused

lifegoes · 01/03/2019 18:28

I really hope he does leave his long term partner. I hope he leaves, sleeps with this girl. And the sex is absolutely awful.

Then he can't go back and she's stuck with him.

Original poster
Dixieland123 · 01/03/2019 18:33

Maybe my morals are all wrong but I think it’s reasonable to be with someone and break up with them and go out with someone else. Is that wrong? Do we have to pick our partner at 18 and stick with them, married or not?

I don’t know what the future holds for my friend but I’m not going to judge her.

OP posts:
HK20 · 01/03/2019 18:35

Nobody's judging them for liking each other - people are judging the emotional affair.

If he hasn't left his partner yet he's not going to!

Bennyandthejetsssss · 01/03/2019 18:35

My DSs father had an ea. I kicked him out. He played the field for a while and ended up marrying the one he had the ea with some time later.

He cheats on the wife too. I know this because he shagged a ‘friend’ of mine behind her back. Grotty, the lot of ‘em.

If they’re cheating in any way, I’d say that the odds aren’t good for a happy ever after with anyone. My father had several women at once until the day he died.
It’s soul-destroying but there’s those that do and those that don’t.
My mother was a bit on the side to a married man until she died too.
I try to aim for those that don’t cheat and I have never cheated on anyone.

I wouldn’t find a man with a partner attractive, due to how I grew up!