Are all men useless

[Bumblebee27]

Feeling a bit dejected in my relationship at the minute. Don't know it my partner is emotionally rubbish or if I'm just expecting too much so some outsider perspective would be really useful.

He isn't a bad man at all. He's caring and funny and does consider me. But more and more I'm feeling like he doesn't genuinely care about my feelings and things that are important to me. A few examples include how he knows I'm struggling for money but continues to treat himself to purely selfish things (clothing, new car) and doesn't see how this might be frustrating when I'm skint and he earns a lot more than me.

If we have a row I can stew on it for days whereas he'll just carry on as normal, doesn't even bother texting me when he knows I'm upset.

If he has an issue I try and help and offer comfort and support. If I have an issue it's almost like 'get on with it'.

Goes out and does his own thing a lot leaving me and my son at home to occupy ourselves - again no issue with him having hobbies outside of the relationship but in moderation is surely important?

I know some of this sounds petty. Just wondering if men really are very different to women emotionally? Please make me feel better with stories about your rubbish partners x

@BumbleBee27 - I don’t think you’re alone with it and I do think it’s why so many women leave their DHs lists of chores . During half term I planned to take my DD6 to my mums for a few days and was going to drive up after work (2.5 hour drive) Unfortunately I had a work crisis and didn’t have chance to pack our bags before the day. Got home at 6.30pm after a shit day hoping he would have packed DDs bag to find nothing done. I slammed around in a right old mood and when he said “ Are you alright? ” I did the whole “I’m fine” thing in a way which clearly indicated I was pissed off. Now a sensible person would have explained in a rationale way what the problem was but I preferred to play the martyr ( because I was tired). It didn’t enter his head to pack a bag for her because he wasn’t going on the trip. If I’d asked him to do it he would have done it. I Still think he should have realised but I should have also communicated better too! Men & women eh?

@SpiritedLondon exactly something my oh would do! And it's even more ambiguous when it comes to feelings because it's so subjective and just because I feel like he's not pulling his weight or making effort he probably thinks we are ticking along just fine. Hence the confusion when I finally erupt! I do think frank, sensible, calm conversation is the way forward and I'll do this in future instead of just mincing around in a bad mood for weeks.

A lot of people seem to have focused on the money aspect, which is admittedly a bit of an issue but it's more about what it represents, how he views the relationship and how much effort he's been putting in. Which in my mind hasn't been enough but now we've chatted properly I think he sees my point.