Has anyone else been groomed by someone a lot younger?

[SkiingCrazy]

Just intrigued to know whether anyone else has been in this strange situation. I'm an intelligent, married adult and am still realising months down the line, just how badly I was played for a fool and groomed into a strange relationship by a guy who is in his late teens, (more than 10 years younger than me). It messed my head up SO BADLY and caused chaos in my life and other relationships. Turns out this kid is a serial groomer and has been doing it his whole life - but how did it happen to me?! I'm baffled. OK so I now realise he played on my insecurities and low self esteem. But I always thought grooming was something that happened to kids and was done by somebody with power over them, whether by virtue of age or position or whatever. That did not apply in this case at all. Interested to know if anyone else has had it.

Thanks for the supportive messages.
Trainsong, this was not at all the overt type of behaviour you are describing although the person in your story probably has similar issues. In this case it was very much of the 'I have no friends, nobody understands me apart from you, I never had any affection at home, you're like a mum to me' sort of thing hence I didn't see it as attempts to lower my guard in a sexual context. Also, others around were praising me for the great work I was doing with him and it contributed to me thinking I was just being oversensitive about the slightly inappropriate stuff. And once you've explained away something to yourself, it's a lot harder to re-evaluate as it progresses, as I think anyone that has been badly manipulated will know.

Same technique is used to play foster parents off against each other, allowing the FC to annex one parent completely to themselves. Foster Parents get decent supervision and training, though, so shouldn't fall for it.

Not blaming the child, of course, just analysing what happens.

It's appalling that children have needed to develop these survival skills.

I have seen meany people feel they are "the special one" "the only one the person can talk to" etc etc. Unless you have good safeguarding training, i think its easy to become swept away with it. I think a lot of vulnerable young people are manipulative and seek someone they can have their needs met by (what ever those needs may be). But why didnt other people around you see what was going on?
What i guess does concern me about what you have said is just how emotionally invested you were, you say "it messed your head up, and affected your relationships etc". With out being rude, but someone who becomes to emotionally involved really needs to look at their own work practice as it does leave you very very vulnerable (as you no).
Is this the first time you have worked with such a vulnerable adult?

@Concerned09 I meant to write "may be sociopathic" because this manipulative behaviour is something you don't see people with a conscious normally engage in. I agree with NotTheFordType, notify a superior if you have one. Otherwise, just go non contact and if they continue to press it, go to the police.

I once sat in a case review meeting about a 12 year old looked after child where an experience Principal teacher of guidance burst into tears and exclaimed

“She said I was the only one who understood her, I told her all about my children and showed her photos of them, she promised she wouldnt offend again. How can she do this to me ? “.

@Scott72
@NotTheFordType

My situation is more family than professional. If I distance myself who keeps an eye on DC?

Concerned09, I'm inclined to say that unless you have proof something is going on, there really is not much you can do here. It's not your responsibility to intervene, and you are best distancing yourself.

As has been pointed out, I did n’t read the op post properly and I apologise.

Yes, I'm 10 yrs old then my ex friend. Because she 10 younger I thought I was the groomer. However looking back she was the one who approach me. Story goes I was mind my business she comes along ask for my sexual orientation, she told me she likes art so I showed her my art, she did my make up asked my number. She constantly called me am or pm. Asked play Roblox as we talked on phone she would always say a sexual innuendo, I would say um.. there's a boundary line I can't cross, further on. She send explicit content I was shocked. Didn't understand why she would do that. It was weird, soon she asked me to go to her house. So I talked to her mom given we near same age. Ex friend started to take me towards basement proceeds to physical wrestling, where she was on top I would tell her to get off. Then she would rub her foot on mine when watched tv. I recall once I was in guess room her mom placed me in and she snuck into my room. Asked for cuddles yet rubbing her ass into my pelvic area. I told her to stop doing that. She just giggles. Years, on wards she wanted me to run away with her, the dynamic was confusing to me. Hitting 21 age she asked me to have intimacy with her only orally, thinking this is one time thing. I was wrong it was a daily almost a chore, I worked tired she didn't care still asked. If I didn't she would do silent treatment towards me and be rude and passive aggressive. Once she got over it she'll ask me again even when I was tired she woke me from sleep for it. I felt pressured once it was over she had boyfriend. She told me I was replaceable and stupid and ugly. Really harsh treatment. It dawn on me I've been groomed. I wasn't the bad guy. She dress innocent, but she aggressive she knows that others would see me as bad guy in her narrative. Oh she's a narcissist as well who use people. In which she have told me this she dress innocent on purpose and uses people cause she bored in life. She laughed about it.