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Original poster

Partner being pushy

35 replies

Ivy44 · 27/02/2019 19:54

NC as it’s pretty personal.

My partner can be a bit sexually demanding when he’s had a few drinks. He ll say things like “I don’t think you like sex anymore” if I don’t wake up and want to have sex with him.

The other night, I woke up to find him pushing his erection into my back and he said “I’ve got a massive erection, what are you going to do about it”. I said, “I was as,eep and I’ve got my period, which you knew”, he replied with “ we’ll go to the shower and wash it all off”. I’m a bit disturbed by this, am I being a prude?

OP posts:
bigchris · 27/02/2019 19:55
Sad Doesn't sound very nice or caring, how often does he have a few drinks ?
Dirtybadger · 27/02/2019 19:59

What was his reaction to you saying no?

AFistfulofDolores1 · 27/02/2019 19:59

This is not about being a prude. It's about your partner not respecting your "No."

MashedSpud · 27/02/2019 20:01

Tell him to use his imagination and his hand. Telling someone they have an erection does not count as foreplay.

Lightofday · 27/02/2019 20:06

No. That is proper gross and disrespectful.

ihatethecold · 27/02/2019 20:07

Awful. Angry

Ozziewozzie · 27/02/2019 20:09

I agree, he's being pretty vulgar. I don't know many people who enjoy being woken up by a drunk shoving their erection into them ( especially when you have your period).
Have you tried talking to him sober about this?

Kittykat93 · 27/02/2019 20:09

Nothing less sexy than being woken up by an erection pushing into your back. Why the fuck do some men think this is a turn on? Tell him to sod off op.

Original poster
Ivy44 · 27/02/2019 20:11

He drinks every Saturday, goes out with his friends. I’m quite happy that he goes out. I can either see my friends, do something with DD and then have a bath. It’s only when he over does it that he behaves like this, which isn’t too often.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ivy44 · 27/02/2019 20:12

I agree, it does absolutely nothing to turn me on! The opposite in fact.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 27/02/2019 20:12

That would make me furious and I'd lose my temper completely! Rude and selfish! That's enough to put you off entirely!

Holidayshopping · 27/02/2019 20:12

That’s grim-has he always been so unpleasant?

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/02/2019 20:14

Once is too often OP. He’s being really disrespectful. Anyone who wakes me for anything less than the house being on fire, especially if I’m on my period, risks a kick in the balls. He has no right to do that.

Original poster
Ivy44 · 27/02/2019 20:15

His reaction to being told no was to continue shoving himself into my back, saying go on, please, until he dozed off (quite quickly thankfully) and snored like god knows what. He’s a bit gross when he’s drunk, but if a rugby lad, he’s not threatening or anything though, wouldn’t hit me.

OP posts:
PrestonsFlowers · 27/02/2019 20:17

No you're not being a prude. An erection being pushed into a woman's back is very offensive and usually a complete turn off.

Lightofday · 27/02/2019 20:19

Wouldn't hit you but continues to shove his dick into your back when you clearly aren't interested...aye that's miles more acceptable :/ I'd be worried about where else he might shove it next time I was asleep.

cordeliavorkosigan · 27/02/2019 20:19

Omg. Ew. And the idea that he wouldn't hit you is hardly a ringing praise for his delightful loving character. Totally not cool.

PrestonsFlowers · 27/02/2019 20:19

Just because he doesn't hit you doesn't mean he's a nice guy. You're setting the bar quite low.

Original poster
Ivy44 · 27/02/2019 20:22

I just wanted to make it clear that he isn’t violent and wouldn’t push me into doing anything. I’ve known him for years and he’s lovely the rest of the time. He can just be a dickhead when he’s been out drinking with his rugby friends.

OP posts:
Dirtybadger · 27/02/2019 20:22

I don't mind being woken up in the morning to some morning wood. And the fact it's my period if irrelevant because it always is.

But I would tell DP to fuck right off if they woke me up in the night for sex. I'm sleeping! And it sounds like your DP knew that you aren't into sex on your period. And he persisted after being told no.

So, yes, twat all round. Having had people be more than pushy with me in precious relationships etc etc this would really trouble me. You should be able to expect your partner to respect your boundaries. Always.

Dirtybadger · 27/02/2019 20:23

Previous not precious.

Did he apologise in the morning?

FuerzaAreaUruguay · 27/02/2019 20:23

What? He's a creep but at least he doesn't hit you? Please do the Freedom Programme because this is not on.

Newhere555 · 27/02/2019 20:23

Very disrespectful. Once you say no that's that! He's disgusting for trying to push you

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/02/2019 20:24

Oh love. Please aim for better than just not being hit.

Original poster
Ivy44 · 27/02/2019 20:28

He was pretty sheepish the next morning and said he couldn’t remember saying it.

OP posts: