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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partner being pushy

35 replies

Ivy44 · 27/02/2019 19:54

NC as it’s pretty personal.

My partner can be a bit sexually demanding when he’s had a few drinks. He ll say things like “I don’t think you like sex anymore” if I don’t wake up and want to have sex with him.

The other night, I woke up to find him pushing his erection into my back and he said “I’ve got a massive erection, what are you going to do about it”. I said, “I was as,eep and I’ve got my period, which you knew”, he replied with “ we’ll go to the shower and wash it all off”. I’m a bit disturbed by this, am I being a prude?

OP posts:
Missmother · 27/02/2019 20:35

I would finish with a guy for that, and not remembering it, mmmn how convenient, if you don’t want to get rid of him then have a serious word and tell him that if he doesn’t get his act together then it’s over with.

You say that he comes over so I assume you don’t live together? Boot him out the next time he does it, no matter what time of the night it may be, that will teach the creep, I’d hope.Angry

Missmother · 27/02/2019 20:36

Just reread and you said he over does it, not that he comes over, my mistake!Confused

Kick him to the couch the next time!

Singlenotsingle · 27/02/2019 20:46

Tell him any time he comes home drunk he sleeps in the spare room (if you've got one). And it might have to be permanent.

pissedonatrain · 27/02/2019 23:01

Yuck.
One of the reasons he's an ex.
It got to the point where that is the only time he wanted to do it. Waking me up with a boner in my back and then pestering me until I gave in.

The one time I rebuffed him, he went online complaining how I was cold and cruel and how sex deprived he was. Oh and after that, he flat out refused to have sex no matter how many times I'd initiate.

RagingWhoreBag · 27/02/2019 23:05

Tell him next time he’s been out drinking he can sleep at his mates house as he clearly can’t control himself and you don’t want to be woken up by a drunken sex pest.

Seriously if he can’t remember being so gross he needs to stop drinking but I suspect as a rugby ‘lad’, he won’t. Next best thing is that he doesn’t come near you when he’s been drinking, as he’s clearly not in control of himself.

If you’re worried about him taking his boner elsewhere while he’s too drunk to know what he’s doing, sounds like that would be doing you a favour. Who wants to shag a pushy piss head?

CheshireChat · 27/02/2019 23:20

I remember another poster saying something like 'you've told him how he acts when drinking, yet he chooses to continue drinking'.

Have you read him the riot act?

AgentJohnson · 28/02/2019 04:41

Oh dear! All the excuses in world won’t change this. Why would he be sheepish if he doesn’t remember? He tries it on aggressively in the hope that you’ll give in more times than not.

What advice would you give your DD if she was in a relationship like this? He’s not like this all the time and you’ve known him a long time’. Alcohol isn’t an excuse or a mitigating circumstance.

NameChangeNugget · 28/02/2019 07:08

He really has no respect for you. This was all about his needs.
Have a word with him, next time he’s out drinking, tell him he’s in the spare room And he can sort himself out

Original poster
Ivy44 · 01/03/2019 08:34

Thanks everyone. We do need to have a conversation. I just wanted to check it wasn’t just me who is concerned by this.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 01/03/2019 09:25

I don't think you need a conversation
Leave him, his behaviour is disgusting and you shouldn't tolerate it

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