Vaping is driving us apart

[TheCreativeLife]

DH used to smoke, 10-15 a day. He smoked when I met him, but always outside, and always went to great lengths to clean his teeth etc after and not smell of it (I am a non smoker and I dislike the smell)

Three years ago he stopped smoking, but started vaping. In the house, everywhere. I HATE the smell of it. We've had countless rows about it and finally he's confined it to one room, but he stinks and his
breath stinks.

Everytime we row he promises to smoke a different type and smoke outside, which lasts maybe a few days then it's inside again.

I know it's an addition, and I know it's hard to give up but I'm not asking him to do that. I'm asking him to smoke it outside as I don't think I, or the DCs, should have to breathe this stuff in, and to find something that doesn't smell of these awful fake cherry or tobacco or whatever flavours that give me headaches and make me feel sick.

Does anyone have any advice? Can anyone recommend a scent-free vape?

Menthol. I use that and it doesn't smell at all.

It's grim and he should aim to stop completely but certainly inside, the selfish bastard, breathing his smoke everywhere round you and the kids!

@AfterSchoolWorry would you mind telling me exactly what type of menthol please? And whether it's just you that thinks it doesn't smell or whether others agree with you (don't mean to be rude)

@Onemanssoapopera soooo very helpful thank you

Mate its your call, you hate it but you're trying to facilitate making it easier for him and more palatable for you for him to empty his lungs all over you in your own home? ? Ok then.

My OH works in a vape job and comes home stinking. Hope he sees it your way soon. Mabye spray him with perfume or air freshener when he does it 😉

I'm around people who vape and I can never smell anything after a few seconds.

I'd insist on it being outside

@Onemanssoapopera yes you're right it is my call. And my call is to find a compromise to save my marriage

@ thefirst48 I have a real reaction to fake scents. Like car air fresheners, scented candles etc. I think there must be a common base chemical in the scent because that's all I can smell and it makes me feel sick and gives me horrendous headaches. High quality fragrances are ok. So I'm looking for fragrance free or 100% natural vape stuff

Can you not work with him to find a flavour that doesn't smell offensive to you? He has already given up smoking and then confined vaping to one room so he has done a lot. Perhaps it is your time to compromise - after all you chose to marry a smoker.

He has done a huge thing for his health and nicotine is a strong addiction. I think you are risking him saying fuck it and starting to smoke again if you carry on rowing with him about him vaping. It doesn't make sense but unfortunately when you quit smoking it is incredibly easy to relapse even years later.

Although I don't understand why he won't go outside, or at least stand by a window and blow it out.

I think he’s doing a great job tbh. It’s really fucking hard to give up smoking.

There has to be a compromise- vape steam won’t kill anyone that smells it unlike real smoking!

I’d ask to only do it in a room where the kids can’t see or are not around.

Vaping isn't tearing you apart, your DHs dickish, selfish behaviour is. I would hate this too. It stinks

Thanks, that's what I'm trying to do PikaPikaTink, hence the request for anyone who knows of non-smelling or naturally scented vapes.

I did marry a smoker, hence I think it's unfair to expect him to give it up. But he didn't smoke in the house, and now he does, all day. After the last row he has promised to smoke outside but I know that will probably only last a week at the most.

I think it's fair to ask him to smoke outside only (which I do, repeatedly) and to smoke something that doesn't make him smell horrible to me (hence the ask for recommendations), and so that when he inevitably starts smoking inside again it's not so vile

Did the actual smoke smell bother you? He can get tabaco flavored ones or go with him to the vape shop and smell a few

You can get flavourless juice OP, perhaps ask him to try that?

I'm surprised that you found him smoking, albeit outside, preferable to vaping. IMO there's no comparison to the smell of smoke on clothes, breath and hair to the smell of vape, which doesn't linger.

Is he using nicotine free vape liquid?

How did he manage to not smell of smoke before? I've never managed it.

I picked up a blueberry one in Sainsburys and it doesn't smell at all.

It's by a brand called Blu - can get it different nicotine strengths too.

Thanks, I think I'm a lot more sensitive to whatever fragrances are in vape compared to cigarette smoke.

I'll look at the Blu one, thank you @LikeACowsOpinion

It doesn't matter what the nicotine content is, it's the fragrance that's the issue

@MeganChips, any idea where to find flavourless? so far only found US sellers

Thank you all

Hi OP, yes here.

www.onepoundeliquid.com/search/flavourless-c8/flavourless

Good luck, I hope you find a compromise.

I asked because if he's using one with nicotine content then you and your DC are ingesting nicotine too, which is bad and the reason to ban it from inside the home.

I think you’re being really unfair tbh I can’t imagine how hard it has been for your dp to give up smoking. He finds an alternative and you’re still nagging at him. Feel sorry for him.....

Also there are no long term studies behind vaping. The major financial backing of vape products are the cigarette companies. It is well within the realms of possibility that within 10 years they will say vaping is dangerous. Think about diesel cars, they were the future....

I couldn’t live with it. Almost as horrid as smoking but not quite. Plenty of people manage to just give up without any need for a replacement. Just needs determination and self belief.