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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

new relationship?

56 replies

Flute56 · 25/02/2019 05:11

I am not sure what to make of this but a man I met socially only about 4 times has contacted me out of the blue after a gap of about 3 years. He has said he has not seen me in a very long time. I initially met him through a social gathering via social media (facebook meetup) and for various reasons the facebook meetup group did not suit me so I left. He then contacted me via my facegroup meetup profile after all this time and tried to persuade me to attend another group and gave me his phone number

OP posts:
GigglesForEd · 25/02/2019 05:15

Do you like him? Are you both single?

Original poster
Flute56 · 25/02/2019 06:25

I suspect he is single and so am I. When you ask do I like him? I hardly know him. When I first met him I thought he was ok but nothing else. He never showed me any personal interest and then I left and now he has contacted me three years on. I wonder why because if he liked me he would have contacted me sooner. I love being single and having nobody to answer to and do whatever I want when I want and my point in asking on here was to try and fathom out what took this bloke so long to contact me and what his intentions are

OP posts:
Monty27 · 25/02/2019 06:28

Take it slowly. It's romantic though Smile

Original poster
Flute56 · 26/02/2019 06:03

why would I want to take it slowly when I have said in this thread that I am very happy being single????????????

OP posts:
HK20 · 26/02/2019 06:17

It sounds like you're not interested so just block him and forget about him

HK20 · 26/02/2019 06:19

I also suggest not calling your post 'new relationship' if you're going to snap at someone who tells you to take it slowly because you're 'happy being single'. If you're happy single there won't be a new relationship surely?

Original poster
Flute56 · 26/02/2019 06:35

yes you are right. I am not really interested for a number of reasons but am flattered that he has approached me etc

OP posts:
WordsFailMeAgain · 26/02/2019 06:35

You like being single and don’t especially like him?
This is a non-issueHmm

bigchris · 26/02/2019 06:44

Are you worried he's stalking you?

Monty27 · 26/02/2019 06:51

OP wow. What's your post about then?
By your dismissive tone it's a non-post. Posted in Relationships
Hmm

Readytorewind · 26/02/2019 07:02

You can't call it a new relationship in your title and then get prickly when people respond on that basis? You seem a bit conflicted OP. Has this man unsettled you for some reason?

Monty27 · 26/02/2019 07:04

Flattered? I hope he runs for the hills!Shock

Ragnarhairybreetches · 26/02/2019 07:17

Ok, so you don't want a relationship, he's not been someone you've thought about, then politely decline and then perhaps block him if you're concerned he may be a bit of a cling on.
Take the flattery from this but don't push for more as it would be very unfair on him if he is keen to let him think you are.

Hellohappy · 26/02/2019 08:01

If you don’t want to go out with him, don’t! If you’re happy being single, stay single!

Original poster
Flute56 · 26/02/2019 19:34

no this man has not unsettled me in any way I am just confused as to his sudden contact after all this time

OP posts:
Tennesseewhiskey · 26/02/2019 20:32

It's not that confusing. He would like to get to know you better.

You aren't interested. End of, really

poppingoff · 26/02/2019 20:50

What has he actually said? Maybe he just wants to get the numbers up for this new group?

You've been rude and chinned someone on here who simply took your thread title at face value, yet you haven't actually told us that he made any reference to being interested in you romantically.

We can only go by what you actually tell us, or infer. We can't read your mind, or his. So give us something to work with. This is Mumsnet. Not the Physic Circle.

MumsyJ · 26/02/2019 21:33

If you're not interested in anything romantic/ relationship, simply let the poor geezer know. He maybe wanted to keep in touch as friends?

But hear him out first and don't be confused as you enjoy being single and having no one to answer to.

Original poster
Flute56 · 26/02/2019 21:44

He has said he has not seen me for a long time. Surely that indicates that I am not interested in his group or have no time to go because if I had time and I was interested then I would still be going. If I ran a group and someone disappeared and had not been for three years then I would not bother contacting them because I would think they had moved on otherwise they would still be attending so it would be pointless asking. On the other hand if my intention was to coax them back because I quite liked them and wanted to see them again to get to know them personally then I would suggest they come back so we could interact a few more times within the group and then I could socialise with them on a one to one (assuming they wanted). Maybe when I went to his group before he liked me but because I disappeared he could not get to know me and then put it on the back burner but had always thought about me and decided to take the bull by the horns and contact me just to see what might happen. I am a believer that if you want something you go for it but you may not be successful but at least you will be satisfied that you have tried rather than always wondering what if

OP posts:
likeridingabike · 26/02/2019 21:47

You're overthinking this massively, either engage or ignore.

Original poster
Flute56 · 26/02/2019 21:57

I am not overthinking it. A friend of mine recently moved back to an area she lived in a few years ago. She used to work in this area and when she returned to the area she met up with a friend from her old work. Her friend came along with someone else from the same work (a man). It transpired that when my friend used to work at the company this man fancied her but did nothing about it and then my friend moved away and that was that. When she returned and met up with him again he confessed that he fancied her years ago and they became an item and now live together. He said it took her to move away for him to realise how much he liked her but thought she would have found someone else etc but when she came back he realised she was single and she obviously like him and they are now together. I am not saying this will happen to me but this is just an example of how you can see someone and like them and things happen and you no longer see them and then you realise you do not want to miss an opportunity and ask them out and if they feel the same then good if not then at least you have tried and can move on

OP posts:
poppingoff · 26/02/2019 21:59

So have you replied?

surlycurly · 26/02/2019 22:00

I'm mentally exhausted just reading this. You remind me of me. Are you HFA?

EmmaC78 · 26/02/2019 22:02

No, you definately are over thinking this..

poppingoff · 26/02/2019 22:03

You are overthinking it. Really, you are.

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