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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

new relationship?

56 replies

Flute56 · 25/02/2019 05:11

I am not sure what to make of this but a man I met socially only about 4 times has contacted me out of the blue after a gap of about 3 years. He has said he has not seen me in a very long time. I initially met him through a social gathering via social media (facebook meetup) and for various reasons the facebook meetup group did not suit me so I left. He then contacted me via my facegroup meetup profile after all this time and tried to persuade me to attend another group and gave me his phone number

OP posts:
Closetbeanmuncher · 26/02/2019 22:22

He wants to have sex with you and is chancing his arm??

Now onto the next gripping mystery........
Who left the lid off the peanut butter and why???? 🤔

😂

Original poster
Flute56 · 26/02/2019 22:38

no I am most certainly not HFA.

OP posts:
Katgurl · 26/02/2019 22:50

He fancies you, maybe a lot, maybe only a tiny amount, most likely somewhere in between.

He could be newly single or he could have just happened upon your details and remembered you.

surlycurly · 27/02/2019 06:51

I wouldn't be too touchy @Flute56 ... I am HFA and my thought processes are very similar to the way you've outlined your thinking in your posts. And I don't think they are the common way to look at things. And as for the poor chap, if you're not interested then don't reply.

pog100 · 27/02/2019 08:31

He's just looking through his contacts, people he knows, trawling for friends or maybe more. It's not a big deal for either of you, or shouldn't be. Respond however you feel about it.

Milomonster · 27/02/2019 09:43

Very strange thread given your defensive/rude stance towards posters. Non issue unless deep down you really are interested in a relationship as you protest too much.

Lizzie48 · 27/02/2019 11:24

I agree that this is a very strange thread. If you're not interested, just block him and ignore. Why start a thread entitled 'A New Relationship'?

wishywashy6 · 27/02/2019 12:04

Now onto the next gripping mystery........
Who left the lid off the peanut butter and why???? 🤔

😂😂

MumsyJ · 28/02/2019 06:15

"Now onto the next gripping mystery........
Who left the lid off the peanut butter and why???? 🤔 "

Made me laugh out loud 🤣... think we need to get Miss Marple on this.

Original poster
Flute56 · 02/03/2019 22:04

got rid of the bloke. I told him not to contact me anymore.

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 02/03/2019 22:12

well that took a dark turn Hmm

CinammonPorridge · 02/03/2019 22:20

I would say you probably weren't the only person he messaged.

I would have ignored him then blocked him if he messaged several times.

Zofloramummy · 02/03/2019 22:21

Oh lord flute! You are coming across as blunt as a spade 😆. I kindly suggest that your social skills need a little fine tuning. You don’t have to drop your knickers to any bloke who shows any interest. Neither do you have to start an MN thread, react aggressively to any poster and then tell the bloke to do one!! Try to find a middle ground (or keep posting I’ve had quite a nice time reading) Flowers

Original poster
Flute56 · 02/03/2019 22:30

sometimes you have to be blunt. He messaged me after three years. That is odd in itself. I asked him why he had given me his number and he said because you can phone me and ask me what is going on with my groups...????? Er I don't think so. I then said but if the groups are advertised on the internet then surely if I want to know I would message you as orgaiser of the groups via the internet. I do not have to phone your mobile. I then told him that I had no interest in his groups and that I think it best we do not message again. Surely if I was interested then I would have contacted him to join or enquire and I would not have left it three years to do so. Surely a gap of three years means I am NOT interested ...

OP posts:
E20mom · 02/03/2019 22:36

Sounds like this guy's had a lucky escape.

dragonsfire · 02/03/2019 22:36

You do realise he hasn’t done anything wrong tho right?

Your acting like he did something bad - he thought of you (maybe he wasn’t single 3 years ago) he text you, you have said not interested, job done.

Really no need for the defensive attitude and thread!

STOP over thinking! If interested in a guy then indulge, if not then just say it’s not weird at all 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Flute56 · 02/03/2019 22:40

i do not think he was ever interested in me. He was simply trying to get new members for his groups and I do not want to attend. End of.

OP posts:
E20mom · 02/03/2019 22:51

So why did you call your thread 'new relationship'?

Lizzie48 · 02/03/2019 22:51

Well, if that's the case, then you've told him, and yes, end of. But your anger is completely OTT. One contact doesn't equal stalking after all.

Orange6904 · 02/03/2019 22:59

Maybe he's just fishing on facebook for some action.

Original poster
Flute56 · 02/03/2019 23:17

maybe my anger is OTT but as someone else said maybe I am not the only person he has contacted. I am best out of it

OP posts:
Orange6904 · 02/03/2019 23:22

Maybe he's having a nostalgic night and going through searching for people. Could be anything really. Don't over analyse it.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 02/03/2019 23:52

why is your thread titled "new relationship"?

I think you're playing hide-and-seek with yourself, OP, not with him.

DoctorDread · 02/03/2019 23:57

Flipping heck op tjat as a lot of unnecessary drama!!!

Original poster
Flute56 · 03/03/2019 00:06

I called the thread new relationship because I thought that was why he had contacted me. I was wrong and besides it would not have worked out for a number of reasons mainly because our interests are so different.

OP posts:
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