Morning everyone,
I am hoping for some help please in putting together one last text to a man I have met and like a lot but who is giving me mixed messages. I want to make it clear I am interested and lightheartedly ask him to clarify said mixed messages.
In short, we met online, had an amazing date that lasted 2 days (didn't DTD), chatted enthusiastically for a couple of weeks, partly arranged a date (not the exact day as he changed it due to work but the place and the weekend). He then disappeared on me, he never ghosted exactly, as I initiated contact once or twice and he would reply, but would only get one message in return rather than entering into conversation. It was clear he was not engaged so I let it go.
I was disappointed but chalked it up to experience and kept on with the OLD. I didn't forget him though.
Around a year later, we bumped into each other at a bar. I was polite but circumspect at first and called him out on ghosting me. He was extremely apologetic and said that he had liked me a lot, still thought a lot about me (he had actually sent me a 'Merry Christmas' text) but had had a horrible year including losing his dad very soon after we met to whom he was very close, had been diagnosed with depression and experienced suicidal episodes, problems at work and with an ex so was not in a position to start a relationship.
We got talking as he was very keen to spend time with me and ended up spending the night and next day together and got on really well again. He talked about how he wanted a family and a relationship and i was everything he wanted, how well we got on and how attractive he found me.
That was 2 weeks ago. I left the ball in his court after last time and contact has been very sporadic although he did say he really wanted to see me but has not asked me out.
I know the advice will likely to leave it and move on, usually my advice would be that if a man is interested, he is more than capable of arranging to see me. I just can't forget this guy though, we really got on well and I haven't felt such a connection in over a year of dating.
My go-to attitude is usually to flirt or make a joke if I am unsure what to do with a man (in any area of life i deal with hard situations by joking) as to be honest i feel embarrassed to admit i have feelings and put them out there but this time i don't want to do that. I want to let him know I like him and ask whether everything he said about liking me was just to try and get a shag or said in the heat of the moment. It was a lot to say if it was just sweet talk.
Basically although we haven't spent much time together and I have tried hard to forget him, I do have feelings for this man and just want to try once to see if he actually has any interest. I get that his actions are saying 'no' but i wonder whether it's the horrible year he's had still affecting him.
I would be really thankful for any advice on how to word this in a message.
So sorry for the essay, I know it's a lot for a man I have met twice, this is just bothering me a lot and it's helped to lay it out in writing!!