Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Has he/is he cheating?

35 replies

toofasttoosoon · 22/02/2019 11:50

Found 3 messages from him to a work colleague - first one over a year ago, other 2 more recent but didn't check dates properly;

  1. Thinking about you saying you stopped yourself from squirting last night is making me Uber horny.
  2. When is your next meeting in London should look at hotel
  3. You can have me whenever you want

On work laptop on a instant messenger, deleted from the app itself but stored in emails. Now all been deleted.

I was so blissfully happy and thought we had an amazing relationship and I've been knocked for six.

He denies anything has happened, said a work colleague sent first message as people do when laptops left unlocked. No explanation for 2nd and 3rd other than doesn't remember.

OP posts:
HopeDog · 22/02/2019 11:52

I'm so sorry op, but from what you have said in your original post, I would be almost certain that he has cheated.

mooncuplanding · 22/02/2019 11:53

Don't think there is much doubt that he has been cheating

Sorry OP

WhatAQuandry · 22/02/2019 11:55

It's amazing how many cheaters have such appalling memories.

Perhaps they forgot they were attached in the first place and that's how it happened...

OP, he cheated.

youknowmedontyou · 22/02/2019 11:55

Yes I think so, sorry. Thanks

Thingsdogetbetter · 22/02/2019 11:59

So a work colleague sent a sexual email to a female colleague which could have gotten either your partner or himself fired? ? And the female employee didn't complain to anyone about this sexual unsolicited email? Then two more emails he doesn't remember?? Doesn't remember offering himself on a plate to a colleague?

Really?? You are actually considering believing that bs?

That's the equivalent of a toddler covered in chocolate denying eating it! He thinks he can just keep denying it and you'll doubt what you saw!

He's cheated and is now playing you for a fool!

hellsbellsmelons · 22/02/2019 12:02

I'm sorry OP.
This is awful.
So he cheats - or at least is planning to and then to insult your intelligence.
Treat as though you are thick as shit and will just lap up his lies!? Appalling behaviour. But... they all do it.
NOT OK!!!!
Once you properly challenge him, it will be all your fault.
Not showing him enough attention. Not having sex enough. You shouldn't have been snooping... etc...
Men like this make me so fucking angry.
You know what this is.
You are NOT stupid. Don't let him think you are.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 22/02/2019 12:03

Yes, he's cheating. Sorry.

toofasttoosoon · 22/02/2019 12:04

I know all this. I'm just broken sitting with my 4 week old baby while our 4 year old is chewing my ear off and I just can't believe it.

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 22/02/2019 12:12

Ouch. Do you have any real life support or someone you can call?

Surfingtheweb · 22/02/2019 12:12

You don't send joke messages like that at work!!!!! You send stuff like signing someone up to be a fire marshall.... I'm really sorry for you.

BifsWif · 22/02/2019 12:15

You don’t need us to tell you, you already know the answer.

Do you have any real life support? I’m so sorry, please be kind to yourself x

Hotpinkangel19 · 22/02/2019 12:16

Sorry OP, how awful ☹️

amilosingitor · 22/02/2019 12:18

So sorry op. I wish I had something helpful to say Sad that's truly horrible.

HettieBettie · 22/02/2019 12:18

What a total cunt he is. I’m sorry op

Nquartz · 22/02/2019 12:19

Have you posted about this before? Sounds very familiar.

I thought he was cheating then & still do, I'm afraid.

HollowTalk · 22/02/2019 12:20

Ugh he sounds horrible. You poor thing, with such a new baby.

How many of these twats think we're going to believe that they'd let a work colleague send messages like that?

lifegoes · 22/02/2019 12:26

How awful to read, but 100% cheating.

And he's proven that's not just been texting it's been actual sex. (The first message)

Are they all the same woman

LadyPeach · 22/02/2019 12:28

Bloody hell what a rat. Virtual hug x

youknowmedontyou · 22/02/2019 12:29

Oh OP that's even worse that you've such a young baby. I'm so sorry xx

importantkath · 22/02/2019 12:31

I am usually one for advocating talking, but even I can't stomach that.

No way.

ThanksThanks

Katgurl · 22/02/2019 12:58

Oh you poor thing. I'm so sorry. I really can't see any other explanation. Not a one-off either and he's not even williny to work at fixing it (not that I'd be able to in your shoes). You should me plans to leave.

AnyFucker · 22/02/2019 13:04

Is this a serious question ? Confused

desperatesux · 22/02/2019 13:41

He must think you are a complete idiot if he thinks he can talk his way out of this one. Of course he is/has been cheating. Total and utter scumbag.
You now need to decide what you want to do but please don't fall not his not even remotely plausible excuses

ConfCall · 22/02/2019 13:50

Is there anyone who can come over and entertain the 4 year old for a couple of hours, whilst you get some space? Just pop the baby in a pram and have a long, quiet walk to clear your head.

Then, practical stuff next week - finances, solicitor etc.

Moralitym1n1 · 22/02/2019 13:53

Yes, he has/is

work colleague sent first message as people do when laptops left unlocked

Extremely unlikely.

I'm sorry op.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.