Do you truly respect your dh/ dp?

[everychocolatehasaskinnylining]

Because I'm not sure that I do - could it be that I am falling out of love?

no
he is a child and has never grown up. he takes no responsibility for any decisions prefrerring to blame somebody/anybody/ eveybody else if thinks don't go his way. he has no employment, cant be bothered to do anything around the house (DIY stuff) and shouts at the kids alot. Oh and he is a dope head

he is kind to me and 'nice'; but repsect - slowly eroded over the years. Love is following I am afraid

i agree you cannot love someone you dont respect

Mumto3girls, it's a long story. My thread 'Feeling Wretched' explains it a bit. I also have a thread in the Stepfamilies forum called 'Teenagers'.

I think I do but any respect I have has taken a heavy battering, mainly because he's put me through a load of sh!t with his parents and won't stand up to them. He really is a bit of a "mummy's boy" and I'm her scapegoat. As a result of that, I certainly wouldn't marry him again if I had my time again. Whether we're still together once the children have left home, time will tell.

i dont know about respect as im not entirely sure what it means exactely ,anyone got a dictionary handy? i love him but i am aware as all human beings he has his foibles ,as do i

my dh is a total disaster in many ways - drinks too much, makes a mess, completely depends on me to run his life - but he's the only man I've ever met who

a) understood me
b) found my pathetic attempts at humour genuinely hilarious
c) supported me in my career.
d) has the most amazing hair

We also have a fantastic child together and maybe one day will have another.

Respect is not exactly the right word, but we are joined at the hip and I can't imagine being with anyone else

i respect and love my dp even when he being lazy or moody,
My friend has written her wedding vows recently
i promise to respect you and love you is one of her lines

Well there are some things I do respect, not all. Great father, talented at work, successful in profession etc
But his mother dented this by pouring masses of emotional blackmail, interference etc into pretty much every decision (name for baby, when, where to get married, religious issues) at the outset of our new little family, and yes I do wish I knew about mn then!
It is a crying shame as I am having to try and mentally separate him from his mother (they are v similiar). Dammit .
Can you rebuild respect?
Do love him dearly as a best friend etc though.

Yes I respect him. Because I know him so well there are some aspects of his personality that I have a rather dim view of which came make me feel less respect for him at certain times, but I respect the man who he is as a whole.

I think that if you know someone inside and out (as is the case in most relationships/marriages) then you will not feel total respect for them all the time. Or they you.

Couldn't be with anyone I didn't respect, tbh. Sad to read some of the comments on here. DH is not perfect - I strongly believe that no-one is! - but I completely respect him.

What anorak said...

He truly is my other half

Petunia. That is really sad.

I can't wait till ds leaves home - I mean that in the nicest possible way, so that dh and I can be alone again. And ds is only 3

Possibly deep down but much of the time I feel that I don't. Tbh he hasn't done anything heinous....he just makes us (his family) feel peripheral sometimes

...and there are other issues!

Oblomov, me too! Glad I'm not the only one, was feeling guilty for thinking that way!

the same as hmc
I can see his good points, but some of the things he does/says , is interested in etc I find very hard tp respect him for.
But I respect him as a good father etc

mb life is bloody unfair.

I go through phases of not respecting certain things dh does, and sometimes I'm sure I don't treat him with as much respect as I could , but the fundamental respect is definitely there, and if it wasn't it would be difficult to carry on, I assume. Things are a bit rough between us atm, but there is never any question that the bottom line is we are in this together for life, and in order to maintain that you need respect, I think.

Dunno. Nice bloke and all, if quite frequently maddening. I probably do. Never thought about it.

I have started another thread - will you stay married, after children leave ?
Oneplusone - you and I are on the list

Yes, I love and respect my DH, definitely.

Yes.

MarshaBrady - I have had lots of similar issues about separating partner from mother (Jewish family... all usual clichés apply ).

Very, very hard at times, but we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel .

Looking at our situation from the other angle, yes i do respect dh for putting up with me moaning about his mother alot in the past (stopped now). He is very patient, and did stand up to them for me. Also i feel i have done him a disservice on my post as he is pretty damn patient with me (yes i felt guilty)
I was wondering though, is it possible to still respect your dh, but not his family?

Oh Anna8888 just saw your post, thank you yes i think the usual cliches applied in buckets for us. Perhaps it will make our marriage stronger if we can survive the most intrusive inlaws

MB - Perfectly possible to respect your partner/husband and not his family - there are many things about my partner's family I abhor. Though there are some good things in there too. You need to know quite a lot about family, background etc to form a fair judgement of their strengths and weaknesses as human beings

Oblomov I suspect that our marraige will improve after the children leave (despite loving them so very much)