1.We have never once kissed with any passion. I know from past I’m a good kisser, but it is awkward. Our sex life has never been good, he is timid and has never taken off his shirt in the entire time I’ve known him. Does not show interest in pleasing me (has never performed oral, doesn’t touch me for more than 2 seconds, etc)
He calls himself a workaholic. Says he’d work 100% of time if left to his own devices and chose me to force balance into his life. This translates into him barely spending time with me unless I convince him to, and him calling me “needy” for wanting to spend normal amounts of time together on weekends because he doesn’t need nearly as much interaction with me.
Never contributes to joint savings account. Took years off from grad school bc he couldn’t stand others telling him how to spend his time. Has a dozen startup ventures and only half develops any of them before trying to sell them off; has made $0. If I ever gently suggest he focus his efforts he gets oddly angry and tells me I’m not allowed to suggest he limit his work. Once told me he wanted a divorce after I asked some critical questions about a project that he chose to spend our entire vacation morning talking about.
Has a post grad training program he could do pretty much anywhere, 5 years. I moved for him once, to our current city, even though far from my family. Now wants me to move again even though this whole career is his “backup plan” after entrepreneur stuff, he could get good training here, and I (the breadwinner by far) am now very settled with A very difficult to find job in terms of both time off and matching my exact career interests. I’m also pregnant and not interested in starting to work twice as hard elsewhere (which will result in much higher childcare costs) and undergoing stress of new job and move at that time. He says he would have stayed here if I “respected and supported him,” yet the only reason I don’t is because he’s willing to ignore all this and see his baby only on weekends for 5 years! (He blames me for “breaking up the family” by not moving.)
He is kind and gentle and generally agreeable. Though Even my mom feels though he does the right things on paper , there somehow seems to be some emotion lacking, and he’ll do just enough to get by like come on family trip for 1-2 days then say he “has to work”!(self invented projects)
I knew his flaws but married him after convincing myself they shouldn’t matter so much. That good sex isn’t everything (though we barely had mediocre), or his total financial immaturity (he doesn’t even know i pay $ for his health insurance premium) should be overcome by how super frugal and successful financially I am. But the result is no attraction to him