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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do i stop worrying or thinking about my husband?

53 replies

ImNotYourToy · 15/02/2019 18:23

My husband is going abroad for a fortnight and I know for a fact he will not message or ring me during that time, so I really need to just distance myself and "forget" about him during that time. I have one of his family member on my WhatsApp incase I need him for an emergency or if he decides to contact me, but other than that... what do I do to just forget about him?! I will obviously continue as normal I.e. go to work, look after my son, like I do every day really!

Sounds bad I know but like I said, he will not bother with me or his child while he is there as he will be spending time with his family. We went last year and I do not want to go again for a while, in case you are wondering why we are not all going together. Blush

OP posts:
IamFrauBlucher · 15/02/2019 18:33

Sorry, but why won't he contact you at all? Have you argued?

He won't check in at all to let you know he's alive and well?

That's not very fair on you, keeping you in that holding pattern.

I was an army wife for many years and the way I dealt with times like this was to make a lot of plans - either a house project, or a little trip with my DS (could be a weekend trip to stay with family) or make some arrangements to have dinner at your place with friends etc?

Buy some magazines and books and make a list of box sets you want to watch, get some bubble bath and a few face masks etc if you like that sort of thing?

HollowTalk · 15/02/2019 18:36

Does he expect you to keep in touch if you're away?

Is he nice to you, generally?

LizzieSiddal · 15/02/2019 18:37

Why won’t he contact you for two weeks? That really is not normal behaviour.

ImNotYourToy · 15/02/2019 18:39

Yes he is lovely and caring but when he is with family, friends etc. then that's what he will focus on. That's how he is. When he goes out for the night or at his friends, he will not message me until he comes home late at night or the following day, depends how drunk he got. That's the way he is and I'm used to it now.

OP posts:
LizzieSiddal · 15/02/2019 18:49

Have you told him that you want contact whilst he’s away?

Tell him you’d like him to speak to you and the dc at least once and you’d like to send him a few texts which you want him to answer.

GassyAss · 15/02/2019 19:02

It's really odd not to have any contact at all with a partner for 2 weeks. What on Earth is he up to that means he doesn't want to interact with you?

SpeckledDot · 15/02/2019 19:04

I'd hate that sort of relationship!

Try and keep yourself busy, i guess.

GirlOnIt · 15/02/2019 19:06

How old is your child? Will he not want to see/hear his child and will his family not. Dp went away for work when Ds was a few months and he had me hold him in front of the iPad when he FaceTimed so Ds didn't forget him.
He was away four night Hmm

Yippeee · 15/02/2019 19:07

But he won’t be loving and caring for two whole weeks when he won’t contact you or his child to find out how you both are.

HustleRussell · 15/02/2019 19:08

Sorry but that is a crap excuse. Get him to explain how he is so busy he doesn't have 10 seconds in 2 weeks. Utterly pathetic.

GirlOnIt · 15/02/2019 19:09

As for how to deal with it.
Keep busy and plan some lovely things for you and your child. Do a special treat food shop, everything you like and plan some days out, movie nights etc. See friends and family if you can.

Gina2012 · 15/02/2019 19:16

That's the way he is and I'm used to it now.

Then what's the problem?

sar302 · 15/02/2019 19:24

In that situation, I'd probably spend two weeks perfecting my online dating profile and finding a better husband.

notanothernam · 15/02/2019 19:25

WTF? That's not normal, why are you accepting that? You think it's appropriate the person you share your life with doesn't care for you enough to get in touch with you? Is he not at all interested in you? And you're "used" to that? Hmm...

Mrskeats · 15/02/2019 19:26

Indeed sar
I’m v grateful for my nice husband when I read some of the stuff on her.

Mrskeats · 15/02/2019 19:26

*here obvs

LettuceP · 15/02/2019 19:31

I'm sorry what? Confused

OrangeJuiceandLemonade · 15/02/2019 19:33

I don't think anyone can give good advice on this tbh. It sounds really selfish.

Nc1548 · 15/02/2019 19:36

I would probably occupy myself putting his stuff on ebay. For 2 weeks he doesn't want to know how you or your child are doing? That is NOT lovely.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 15/02/2019 19:37

Do you mean that he doesn’t initiate contact? That YOU call HIM but that if you didn’t he wouldn’t bother contacting you?

MumsyJ · 15/02/2019 19:42

Odd, to say the least!

Yippeee · 15/02/2019 19:44

You say he’s caring so why does he act as if he doesn’t care?

misskiki69 · 15/02/2019 20:01

Bizarre

LaughingCow99 · 15/02/2019 20:16

How cruel. Why wouldn't he send a few messages.? This is not nice at all. No one is that busy. I took 30 seconds to type this message, and I don't even know you

Nothappy16 · 15/02/2019 20:19

I find this bizarre to be honest that for 2 weeks he would not check in and see how you all are and share what’s been going on whilst on holiday. It might be the way he is but doesn’t have to be the way you are so personally I would explain you would like contact

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