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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

valentines card...

32 replies

amytwinehouse · 13/02/2019 15:55

Not sure if this should be an aibu or not, but my bf called me this morning for a chat (doesn't normally do this during the day) and then asked if I'd sent anything in the post, hinting at a valentine card. I said maybe and he said oh yeah, how's your left-hand handwriting?

So he went into depth describing it despite me saying almost straight away that it can't be from me as I didn't use my left hand. He said the envelope looked like my writing. Then he was acting all confused, like who could it possibly be from. I suggested his DD (7) and he dismissed this idea. But then said maybe and that was the end of it.

So I asked him to text me a pic of the envelope and he refused, saying if its not from me why did I want to see it. I said I was curious, but he point blank refused, saying it doesn't make sense that I want to see it and that I was strange for asking.

I think it's perfectly normal to be curious about this and think he's being weirdly secretive not showing me it after telling me all about it. So basically now we know it's not from me it's none of my business. Am I strange? Is he being weird? Confused

OP posts:
CryptoFascist · 13/02/2019 16:01

He probably has an idea who it's from and doesn't want you to work it out.

FlyingMonkeys · 13/02/2019 16:03

I'd buy a big bunch of flowers for myself tomorrow and text him a pic saying are these from you? But I'm petty like that 😂

poglets · 13/02/2019 16:05

He is either being weird and there is no card.
Or he received a card from someone else and did think it was from you. But then why not show you?

He sounds very immature.

I would buy yourself a bunch of flowers, put them in a vase, enjoy looking at them and block him.

What a waste of time.

amytwinehouse · 13/02/2019 16:07

flyingmonkeys love it!!! Definitely doing that!

Crypto it was like he was kind of revelling in the mystery when he was telling me about it, and then faux surprise/mystery when I said it wasn't from me. I think he knew it was from his child the whole time but wanted to wind me up.. I mean a 7 year olds writing looks like a 7 year olds writing, not someones left hand, surely?

OP posts:
amytwinehouse · 13/02/2019 16:07

He called me a psycho!! For wanting to see the card.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 13/02/2019 16:09

That's odd behaviour.
I'm sure if you got a card and it wasn't from him he'd want to know about it.
I'd be on my guard - I reckon he now knows who it is from.

pog100 · 13/02/2019 16:15

Anyone who calls you a psycho should be dumped. Have some boundaries.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 13/02/2019 16:53

So he initiated the conversation about valentine's cards, got weird when you said it wasn't from you, refused to send you a pic and then called you a psycho...? Confused

Is he always this peculiar?

TinselAndKnickers · 13/02/2019 16:54

Definitely wrote it himself Hmm weirdo!! I second the flower idea OP.

amytwinehouse · 13/02/2019 17:10

GreenFingers yes. exactly that.

I take it I'm not alone in wanting to see the card? He said if it's not from you why are you interested. He had called back to say it was definitely from his DD and I said I didn't see why he was being so secretive about showing me it after telling me all about it. Then he said I am strange and a psycho... why would I want to see it.

I just put the phone down at that point. I think it's totally weird to make it into a massive deal that he must defend this bloody card. I kind of feel like he piqued my interest and is now being a bit mean/high and mighty.

I just think if the shoe were on the other foot I would not have a problem about this.

He called back right away to apologise but I'm still not happy.

OP posts:
NameChangeNugget · 13/02/2019 17:15

I don’t actually think he’s done anything wrong here.

No idea, why you’re getting so excited about seeing the card either.

AryaStarkWolf · 13/02/2019 17:16

That's the reactions of a defensive man rather than a curious one..........

tiktok · 13/02/2019 17:18

Mad. Crazy thing to argue about. Unless he has some other major good points, time to move on, from what you say here.

amytwinehouse · 13/02/2019 17:22

Name I didn't way "wrong", I said weird. He spoke for about 5 full minutes telling me all about it, then refused to let me see it. I didn't get excited or keep asking to see it, I just said I was curious and didn't understand why he refused to show me.

I do think its wrong to call me a psycho for showing curiosity in something someone spent a good few minutes telling me all about...

OP posts:
TheChippendenSpook · 13/02/2019 17:24

Could he be winding you up and there is no card?

amytwinehouse · 13/02/2019 17:29

chippin well that would be really weird. I think there is a card. Why on earth tell me and then go all secret squirrel? He actually said I mustn't trust him if i wanted to see it. Eh?

Well, yes, it became an argument about why I wanted to see it, how i was strange in that respect and then a psycho. I didn't think it was that unusual to be curious, but I have now told him to stick it.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 14/02/2019 08:56

He actually said I mustn't trust him if i wanted to see it
Massive red flag right there OP!
I hope you can get to the bottom of it.

Sunshineandflipflops · 14/02/2019 09:08

Would 7 year old really buy, write and post a valentines card for her dad? I find that a little odd and my kids would never have done that at 7 (or even now to be fair at 11/13)!

Mum4Fergus · 14/02/2019 09:32

Is he gonna 12?! I think he's been angling for an argument with you...assume you don't have anything from him yet? Now he has excuse not to bother. Dump his sorry ass at the very least for questioning your mental health Thanks

0ccamsRazor · 14/02/2019 10:51

Why are you with this batshit crazy man?

amytwinehouse · 14/02/2019 11:26

We are both in our forties!!! I was totally bemused yesterday - it was all a bit surreal... which is why I posted.

I just thought it was perfectly reasonable to ask to see it. Someone else has sent him a card and even though the handwriting is childlike or whatever, he thinks it's from me, not his DD, calls me to tell me about it, says he doesn't think it's DD, and then when I say it's not me he goes all, ooh who could it be...definitley doesn't look like DD's handwriting. 20 minutes later calls to say, it's DD, he's just spoke to her on the phone then goes all secretive when I asked to see it.

No idea why he thinks it was so strange of me to ask to see it (we've been together over a year, so not as if we are quite new), or why he doesn't want me to see it and I certainly didn't think it earned the shouting or the "psycho" insult. Honestly, did not see the conversation going that way, and yes, think he's weird about it but wondered if it was me. Bizarre.

Thanks for the reassurance - in the moment I really doubted myself.

OP posts:
amytwinehouse · 14/02/2019 11:31

PS To me from me :)

valentines card...
OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 14/02/2019 11:33

Clearly not his DD - my reaction would depend on whether he had given you any other reason to doubt him.

And definitely get flowers for yourself, with a flower card saying 'Love P x' - only you would know that the P stood for Psycho!

RhubarbTea · 14/02/2019 11:36

There is no card, he's fucking with you trying to make you jealous and as others have said, sounds batshit crazy.

presentcontinuous · 14/02/2019 11:38

agree with Rhubarb that there is no card, it's a childish attempt to make you jealous

what a twat

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