WWYD?

[LilQuim]

I'm feeling really shit. Pls be gentle!! Lol.

So I posted about finalising a bootycall situation. Last week I met a guy on Bumble. We hit it off. Exchanged numbers & been chatting over WhatsApp & voice notes.

He suggested meeting for a coffee, and I agreed. Couldn't do first day he suggested, so he said today, he'd meet me after he finished work at 4.30 - central London.

So I got ready, put on a dress, did makeup, hair. Drove down there & waited to hear when he left work. Got text at 4.45 saying he was stuck at work & didn't know for how long. So I asked if he wanted to reschedule - he said prob best as he didn't know how long he would be.

I told him I was already near where he works, and I think he assumed I hadn't yet left. But I had done a bit of shopping, so decided to just go home.

He then texted he still really wanted to meet & hopes I did too & that I'd let him make it up to me. I didn't reply.

But if background (sorry!!) - I haven't been in a relationship in years, I keep meeting guys who only want a shag, and on top of that I struggle as I have borderline personality disorder (if someone upsets me or makes me feel shit, my reaction is to fuck them off).

So - I know I can overreact. I know I can be codependent. Right now I want to cry because I feel so stupid for thinking any decent guy will want me. And I feel like ignoring this guy.

What would you do? Pls be gentle! I know I'm a ducked up twat already!!

You could have said, I’m already here! Giving him the chance to leave work there and then and come and meet you.

I wouldn’t trust him again after making all that effort and he let you down AFTER the time you arranged to meet.

I don’t think you have overreacted. I would feel the same.

@Completelyfine I did tell him I was there. He said "oh wow". Didn't offer to come straight away. So I just said "I'm leaving now though".

Thank you for replying!!

I think I’d give him another chance. Can you manage a Saturday morning? Maybe Suggest brunch on the Southbank somewhere. Don’t make it too early so no chance of being late. Hope it works out

I think you handled this correctly but please don't assume this somehow means you are unlovable! Just typical for dating strangers.

I'd probably leave it too, tbh. You'd arranged to meet up, so it's a bit shit to bail on you. Nah, i couldn't be arsed.

And no, it's not a reflection on you. Lots of flakes out there.

@Seniorschoolmum I needed to run it by you guys as I know my reactions aren't always to be trusted. I'm going to have a think. I just feel hurt.

@pog100 thank you so much. I'm going to ignore for now until I stop feeling so shit.

@category12 thank you. I just feel fed up & let down. Bloody arsehole! Lol

I'd base it on how well you've hit it off so far and if his job role means things can crop up at short notice. In my job things often run over and I wouldn't be able to just walk out. Saying that he should have contacted you earlier to let you know, but maybe was genuinely trying to finish and get out the door.

I don't think you can really tell from this alone.

The thing is that you are meeting men who only want a shag, but you are meeting them for a shag!

Sounds like this bloke chickened out. He couldn't have been that busy at work if he was texting you several times.

Do you have any interests that you could do where you could meet a man naturally? I'm worried about you meeting up with guys you don't know for sex.

I would definitely not be giving him a second chance.

This was meeting for a coffee, Hollowtalk?

No-one can tell you how you feel. Personally I would be very careful about arranging another date again as this was very inconsiderate - cancelling last minute. If, however, you are really keen and want to give him another go, I would make him wait. If you do arrange another date, make sure its on your terms.

Why did he express surprise that you were already there by saying wow? It sounds like he didn’t treat it like a firm arrangement.

They were meeting to discuss a booty call, weren't they?

No, her last thread was about ending a booty-call situation recently.

This was just meeting for a coffee.

@HollowTalk no - I mentioned that I'd just stopped seeing someone & the guys I met last year - they all wanted bootycalls.

This guy I was meeting for a coffee. In a public place. Not a shag.

Give him one more chance but he needs to come to you as you made the effort to come to him this time. Don’t take it personally he just got held up. If you were unloveable he would have just blocked you and left you stood up with no idea. He didn’t. He got in touch as soon as he could.

@FlyingMonkeys that's the thing - his job role could very well mean he couldn't walk out. He manages a team. I think I'm just taking it as a rejection.

@Crowdo yeah, I just know I'm shit at overreacting when other ppl would see both sides more clearly.

@AFistfulofDolores1 really? Can you share why? I'm so interested to know other ppl's reactions.

@Completelyfine that's what I wondered. Maybe I misunderstood??? Ughhhhhh.

@Yougotdis thank you. That's a levelheaded response! Lol. I do think you're right in making him meet me nearer me & also not after work.

@category12

*No, her last thread was about ending a booty-call situation recently.

This was just meeting for a coffee*

Thank you, love