WWYD?

[LilQuim]

I'm feeling really shit. Pls be gentle!! Lol.

So I posted about finalising a bootycall situation. Last week I met a guy on Bumble. We hit it off. Exchanged numbers & been chatting over WhatsApp & voice notes.

He suggested meeting for a coffee, and I agreed. Couldn't do first day he suggested, so he said today, he'd meet me after he finished work at 4.30 - central London.

So I got ready, put on a dress, did makeup, hair. Drove down there & waited to hear when he left work. Got text at 4.45 saying he was stuck at work & didn't know for how long. So I asked if he wanted to reschedule - he said prob best as he didn't know how long he would be.

I told him I was already near where he works, and I think he assumed I hadn't yet left. But I had done a bit of shopping, so decided to just go home.

He then texted he still really wanted to meet & hopes I did too & that I'd let him make it up to me. I didn't reply.

But if background (sorry!!) - I haven't been in a relationship in years, I keep meeting guys who only want a shag, and on top of that I struggle as I have borderline personality disorder (if someone upsets me or makes me feel shit, my reaction is to fuck them off).

So - I know I can overreact. I know I can be codependent. Right now I want to cry because I feel so stupid for thinking any decent guy will want me. And I feel like ignoring this guy.

What would you do? Pls be gentle! I know I'm a ducked up twat already!!

As a seasoned veteran of OLD, I learned not to give second chances on the first date.

The first date is a very strong indicator as to how the connection will progress. This was borne out time and again.

This happens with first dates all the time. Meeting someone you don't know for a coffee is a risk and sometimes it just doesn't pan out. It's nothing personal.

@AFistfulofDolores1 that's why I am so guarded. I made an effort. Ughhh.

@NotANotMan that's true. Chalk it up to experience.

I would give it a second chance if you think he seems worth it. I'd give some credence to being held up at work as it's very plausible. As pp stated though let him come closer to you to meet up if you do reschedule and ask him to confirm before you set off.

Annoying that he didn’t let you know earlier, I would give him another chance BUT he comes to your area on the next occasion.

If he makes excuses as to he is too busy to meet - block him or whatever has to be done.

You owe these guys nothing.

@FlyingMonkeys I think you're right. I know things can happen & you have little control over them. I'll definitely make him put in more effort.

@letsdolunch321 he definitely has to make it up to me. If not, he's blocked. I'm too old to waste my fucking time.

I met my husband through OLD, he cancelled our first date last minute because of work. I gave him a second chance and he cancelled again, for a different reason.

My friends were horrified and told me to forget about him but my gut told me to let him make it up to me.

Turns out that both reasons for cancelling were valid and just an unfortunate set of circumstances at an unfortunate time!

I suppose what I'm trying to say is go with your gut. Maybe let him make it up to you, give him a chance.

@Charliebigpotatoes awwwwwwwe that's lovely! Not the cancelling twice though!

I'll give him a 2nd chance & hope he steps up.